All Saints' Day Reflection

All Saints' Day is almost here again, and to most people, this is a time to remember loved ones who passed.  I always remember my Papa and Mama most especially this time when I offer mass for their eternal repose. 

Since we buried my Mama in 1980, (my Papa went a year earlier) I haven't been back to my hometown nor looked back.  It was really hard for me to go back home in the earlier days and even to this day. Being there brings back all the memories that it hurt so much.  I can't bear entering our ancestral home to find that they are no longer there.   I believe that I can never be totally over their passing after all these years. 

The townsfolk, including my close friends and especially our relatives must have thought me heartless and insensitive not going to my parents' graves at least during the traditional All Saints' Day visit.  But the folks are kind, I never heard anything like that, I guess they respect my feelings.

You see, I believe that my parents are already in a better place; there's nothing there anymore.   I don't have to go to the cemetery to prove that I haven't turned my back on them.  Maybe my belief is not a popular one, no offense to those who think otherwise.  

But I know that they are always in my heart and mind.  They are in the memories I treasure, in the values and life lessons they taught me as well as in their love and care that made me who I am today in more ways than one. 

I love my parents very much but I regret not being able to give them enough comfort in their old age; they stayed in the province but we siblings lived in the Metro.  Not that I didn't try but I would have wanted them to have enjoyed life more in their later years.

My parents were not demanding, not at all.  In fact they never asked for anything but they were appreciative and thankful for what we could share and for the time we spent with them.  They never complained, they were just glad knowing that we, their children were happy and well. 

If they were alive today, they would have been excited having an iPad because their passion is reading, I would have downloaded ebooks for them, I can just imagine them reading novel after novel.  They would have enjoyed learning about the latest news and about the world via the Internet.  In their time they lived waiting for their weekly subscription of magazines to arrive and the paperbacks they ordered. 

If I can bring back the hands of time, that would be my greatest wish.  Here is where I want to thank them for introducing me to the world of books. 

Thank you Papa for showing me how to value hard work through gardening and farming.  You really had a green thumb, your ponderosa variety of chikoo or sapodilla were the best, they were bigger than the largest Fuji Apple, juicy and sweet as well.  The sweet-smelling  flowers of the magnolia you planted in our front lawn were really perfume material. 

Mama, I always admired your humble and quiet ways, accepting whatever life hands out.  Never a sigh or a word of complain did I hear when times were hard, you made almost everything possible, I know you tried very hard when things seemed hopeless. 

I can never forget the happy times baking cakes with you; angel food cake, pineapple upside down along with the other pastries in your baking repertoire.  I could never again taste a cake as good as those unless I bake them like you taught me.

 I can't believe that we made angel food cake using a fork to beat a dozen egg-whites until soft peaks formed.  Oh Mama, why didn't you buy a mixer?  You could afford it, we were not rich but we were not poor either.  I recall we also used a makeshift oven without a temperature gauge over a gas stove, something quite impossible now, but the cakes always turned out great.  I remember also that your  leche flan (creme brûlée) was the best!

On this coming All Saints Day, you know that I won't be there at the cemetery as always but I'll be remembering and praying for you both.  It would take me a lifetime to really say goodbye and that you will be in my heart forever. 

What Gifts to Give This Christmas?

We were visiting our son and his family when the subject of Christmas came about. My son said:

"I was thinking that maybe we should stop giving gifts on birthdays and Christmases, but not on my birthday this month", he jokingly continued. 

I fully understand where he is coming from; first he knows that we are all decluttering and striving to minimize our material possessions; well at least my two daughters and I.  

Secondly, like me he maybe running out of ideas what to get as gifts and thirdly (I think this is the most important reason), he believes that the best place to put his money is in new experiences in life rather than material things.  

But exchange gifts is a family tradition, one of the highlights of our Christmas celebration and I am hesitant to break it especially that we have grandchildren ages 2 and 11.  Besides, our gifts are not extravagant since they are just a token of our love for each other.  The great part though is in the opening them, hearing a lot of ohh and ahh and trying on clothes for size.  It is also a good opportunity to get fun pictures. 

As I thought about it, I asked myself what gifts we could give to excite our children, they are no longer kids writing to Santa Clause for a toy.  They are not choosy either but not home decor nor going out clothes, they have definite ideas about both.  Maybe their favorite coffee blend will do, but then, I have to get the expensive capsules, not the instant powder nor the beans.   Maybe they don't even want anything.  

How to choose a gift then?  The best way it to asked for a wish list, another is to give three choices before we even buy, that way the recipient gets an idea how much we are willing to spend; though this leaves out the element of surprise.

Our last birthdays were milestones since Jim and I turned 70, My son said: 

"Mom, notice that we didn't give you anything because we wanted to give you a significant gift and we decided to give you a trip to visit us, so go ahead and get tickets in any airline of your choice".  They gave Jim the same gift 8 months later.  

I don't know whether my earlier idea of a gift is different from yours because all along, I thought that a gift should be both a novelty and a luxury; something the recipient wouldn't buy for himself because it is a whim; also impractical but wants it anyway. 

In recent years however especially when times were more difficult and things became expensive people started giving practical gifts again.  Food like cakes, cookies, ham and cheese, pastries, a basket of fruits are the most common. 

I recall a colleague who when christmas comes around would give a wish list to her secretary to spread the word to the different departments.  The list consisted of facial and bathroom tissue,  bath and laundry soap, toothpaste, mouthwash, dish washing liquid, lotion and even sanitary napkins.  

In my teen years a gift like those would be an insult for it would seem like charity and there's the chance that the recipient will be offended and may say:

"Why, does she think I can't buy these for myself?"

What then if we don't like a gift we got?  Dan Erickson in one of his blogs at Hip Diggs says that we can do anything with our gifts;  donate to charity,  give it away or sell, whatever.  There is no rule to keep them since we are already the owners.  

Last Christmas, I learned to be practical in buying gifts,  this Christmas, I'll be more creative, I'll definitely get items that won't be stashed in a closet to occupy space or something that they may just give away.

What about you, do you feel the same way about gifts?  I'd like to hear your thoughts in the comments. 

Kailan in Oyster Sauce: My Version

Jim harvested a few stems from our edible backyard garden this morning and I thought I'd share with you my version of kailan in oyster sauce. 

See below the kailan plots. 

Kailan or Gai-lan as the Chinese call it, is also known as Chinese broccoli and belongs to the broccoli species.  It may be prepared like Pak Choy or Bok Choy.

After washing, I took off the leaves and removed the outer skin of the stalks. 

I steamed the leaves and stalks though it could also be blanched with a little salt. 

I soaked four pieces of dried shiitake last night,  now they are hydrated and ready to be sliced into thin pieces.  

The sauce is sautéed garlic, onions and shiitake, oyster sauce, half of pork bouillon, a dash of Italian spices and corn starch in water to thicken.  This is poured over the steamed kailan. 

This was our lunch today, it went well with KFC.  

Want to try it?

Gumamela Brings Joy!

When our children were young, we frequently go to Baguio, the City of Pines located in the northern mountains of the archipelago.  Developed by the Americans as a summer capital, where a US military base,  Camp John Hay is situated. It was built as a leisure place for the American military soldiers and officers.  It has many attractions that it was dubbed as "Little America", it includes a world class competition golf course designed by the golf legend, John Nicklaus. 

"It is sweet", my 7-year-old younger daughter said after sucking the sap of the gumamela flower's  inner core and about to pluck another.  Our family of five were standing on the top level of the Baguio Cathedral grounds during a family vacation.  The flower box bordering the edge was full of single-petal red gumamela in bloom. 

Yes,  the gumamela flowers and leaves are edible, I learned that Hawaiians put the flowers in salads to aide in digestion and the Chinese pickle and eat them.  The leaves and roots made into tea maybe used as herbal medicine as expectorant, diuretic, emollient, anti-pyretic, anti- infectious and anti-inflammatory.  

The gumamela, also known as hibiscus or Chinese Rose is a common ornamental plant in the Philippines.  Information I gathered claim that it originated from India and  eventually found its way to the Asia Pacific.   Today, work to come up with more  colors of gumamela flowers is still  going on. 

BTW, it maybe interesting to know about a Tahitian lore where a gumamela is worn over the right ear shows that a person is looking for a mate; over the left ear means that a mate has been found.  

When we were kids, we mash or pulp the flowers and leaves, add a little soap and water to make a mixture.  Using a hallow papaya stalk, dip it in the mixture and blow bubbles in the air.  What fun that was. 

In our hometown and probably in all provinces, the gumamela plant is everywhere, some houses and establishments allowed it to grow into a hedge to conceal a part of a yard or garden.  In school we were taught the basic parts of a flower using the single-petal gumamela as specimen.  The center of the flower where everything is connected  has a sweet sap that bees and butterflies like. 

I am a gumamela fancier, I find joy in its colorful flowers that bloom all year round.  I fancy more the double-petal ones, though they only last a day while the single-petal variety lasts longer.   

I've always envied houses with gumamela flowers blooming in their yards; so when we moved to our new home a year ago, I initially bought two gumamela plants with yellow-orange flowers.  I had them planted in our front yard along with several cuttings in different colors I gathered from neighbors. 

This is how far my gumamela have grown.

Some cuttings I planted in pots.

Take a look at this rare red double-petal, the single red is the most common.  

I observed that when the plant is still small, the flowers are small as well, in other words, the size of the flowers are proportionate to the plants that bear them. 

This flower has tiny leaves still to develop.  I posted it on Facebook and a friend said that it looks like a painting. As I look longer at this picture, I'm convinced that indeed, it is like a painting. 

I'm still collecting other colors, a relative in the US said that she used to have a black one back home in the Philippines.  Here are close-ups of some I have, I'm missing the peach here. 

Nowadays, I'm so happy with the continuous flowers these plants provide.   Early in the morning, Jim would often call me outside to look at several flowers that opened.  Just admiring the vibrant colors sets our day, definitely adds a lot to our home's curve appeal. 

For Love Of Filipino Soap Operas

Jim and I always look forward to a new day, our attitude: "Carpe Diem", pronounced kärpā ' dē em; meaning, seize the day.  That's right, grasp the moment and enjoy it; live  in the here and now. 

Well, we don't really go out looking for fun,  we just look forward to each new day and appreciate what it brings.  We indulge in activities we truly enjoy, and being retired makes this so much easier for we have the luxury of time. 

When we finally got settled in this new home, Jim and I found time to watch the local tv drama series that we never bothered doing before, not that we are snobs nor found the time.  Maybe we're just biased, a perception we took from childhood  that there isn't much to learn from watching a lot of crying scenes, slap sticks comedy and even wash-room jokes.  

Recently though, we learned to appreciate these soap operas, because they have come a long way as quality shows.  Indeed the local movie and tv drama entertainment industry has evolved into something better than the ordinary, comparable if not better than those produced abroad.  This is why we got interested to watch the movie since we followed the tv series, "Got To Believe" earlier on and we like the young major casts. 

Today is my day-off from the store so I asked Jim if he is still good on his intention to watch the latest, most-talked-about, well-advertised local movie, Barcelona.  This was filmed in Spain and directed by the acclaimed, award-winning and most coveted director in Philippine movies today.  

On the way to Town, we recalled that the last time we went to a movie was in 2005, when we watched Dubai, another local movie filmed in the same place as the title.  I thought that the first screening at noon was the most convenient so I asked our older daughter to get us tickets on line. Of course, I did my homework earlier, so I knew the screening schedule.  We got there half an hour early that gave us time to get a quick lunch of burgers and chips. 

The plot depicted the typical life of OFWs, who are mostly professionals.  In spite challenges doing menial jobs, oftentimes taking two or even three of them to earn more money to send back home and over-coming loneliness; the only thing that keep them going is their enduring ambition to provide a better future for their families.  For the single ones who find true love amidst all the over-whelming hardship and loneliness are lucky; which exactly happened to two young people in this movie. 

I guess that our new-found appreciation for the local drama series made our TV entertainment more balanced from before when we only watched the news, sports, the food network and HGTV.  Besides, it is great to patronize our own and love what is truly Filipino. 

 

Is It Necessary To Declutter To Be Organized?

My two daughters and I compare notes regularly on our cooking/menu planning as well as the progress of our decluttering.   My older daughter who lives in town told me the other day that she was able to sell at least two big items on line this week.  

While we were chatting on line last night, my younger daughter abroad happily told me that she was able to sell a few things recently as well.  I too, mentioned that I'm continuously weeding out some of my clothes and kitchen items.  We are always glad to share our decluttering activities because this is liberating, besides, who doesn't want to get a few bucks out of it?

 I also told my younger daughter that I don't touch her dad's stuff and that Jim laughingly said of himself once that he is a hoarder.  He is reluctant to let go of his stuff even though he knows that he won't be using them anytime soon. 

"To be fair, Dad seldom buys stuff for himself", my younger daughter replied.  "I agree", Jim is very discriminate especially with his clothes,  they are timeless and no extreme fashion for him, so they last.  

"Btw", my younger daughter continues ;

"I read an article about decluttering if your family is not ready".

"Oh, really, I have to read that, can you send me the link?", I asked. 

"It's in a minimalist blog", she replied. 

So I eagerly clicked to Google and searched:

"How to declutter if a family member is not ready or willing".

I did not only find what I was looking for but in the process, I found a  new perspective about decluttering from a blog:

"What to do if you are organized but your partner isn't".  

By Erin Dolan, Unclutterer.com

It talks about "mismatched couples who have difficulty getting along since one is neat and orderly while the other is not".  

I did not realize that this issue is rather common in many households.  While this is a trivial issue to some, it maybe crucial to others; truly relevant as finances or living arrangements  couples should consider before making a commitment.  Coping mechanisms were suggested in the blog, a simple example is when a partner can't tolerate the clutter, he/she should do the regular organizing.  This may work for awhile but the danger of not bringing the matter in the open may create animosity between partners and a breakup maybe a consequence. 

As I thought of my predicament, it dawned on me that decluttering doesn't mean giving up most of our stuff and turn ourselves minimalists.  If we are not ready, keeping things we love (or for whatever reason) is okay as long as they are organized;  after all, the ultimate goal of decluttering is order, the absence of mess.  If there's a place for everything,  putting them away becomes habitual and it would be easy as well to locate them when necessary. 

I must say that even if Jim won't go all out decluttering his stuff, he is a very organized person and he can't tolerate mess.  When things are in disarray, he will roll his sleeves and fix things, he will even sweep if this is what is necessary to keep a clean and orderly home. 

I'll never forget the  big lesson he gave me very early into our marriage.  One afternoon, I hurried home from the office to prepare dinner and to fix our room.  But I got the big surprise of my life when I saw every corner of our room spick and span, everything were in place, our bed neatly made and our clothes were folded and arranged properly.  

I guess my husband didn't want to embarrass me for being sloppy and he thought better to show me how he wants our home to be.  I understood that he wants our home ship shape always.  Then and there, the only thing to do is to thank him.  I also resolved to do better and to this day, I am forever grateful for a life-long lesson in being organized. 

Crispy Beef In Orange Sauce

I felt like eating crispy beef in orange sauce today when I recalled what I ate at Chopsuey Restaurant in Dempsey, Singapore.  I had no idea what went in the beef except the orange so I chose one version from the recipies that came out of my on line search.  

Half a kilo of sirloin beef, sliced in 1/4-inch strips

Added  a tbsp of soy and 6 tbsp of cornstarch until beef was coated thoroughly. 

Put in the freezer for an hour to enhance crispness.

With a peeler, I took the yellow skin of an orange making sure not to include the white portion since that is bitter.  

I cut the peel into thin slices and set aside. 

I squeezed half of the orange juice 

Added 1 tbsp cooking wine, 2 tbsp red wine,1 tbsp sesame oil, 2 tbsp soy and 3 tbsp orange marmalade and whisked to incorporate ingredients.  Set aside.

Sauted in 1 tbsp vegetable oil, 1 tsp minced garlic, 1 tsp grated ginger and orange rind. 

Added the orange juice mixture and let it boil. 

 beef strips deep-fried until crispy  

Crispy beef fully coated in orange sauce.

The finished dish, in the picture above was garnished it with chopped spring onions and basil.  

Conclusion/Recommendation:

Jim noted a slightly bitter taste and we attributed it to the orange peel's white portion that came off with the rind.

Next time I'll just grate the yellow portion of the orange rind careful not to include the white part.  

The recipe called for 3 tbsp molasses but I opted to use 3 tbsp of orange marmalade.  Next time Jim said it maybe good to add 1 tbsp of honey as well.