We were visiting our son and his family when the subject of Christmas came about. My son said:
"I was thinking that maybe we should stop giving gifts on birthdays and Christmases, but not on my birthday this month", he jokingly continued.
I fully understand where he is coming from; first he knows that we are all decluttering and striving to minimize our material possessions; well at least my two daughters and I.
Secondly, like me he maybe running out of ideas what to get as gifts and thirdly (I think this is the most important reason), he believes that the best place to put his money is in new experiences in life rather than material things.
But exchange gifts is a family tradition, one of the highlights of our Christmas celebration and I am hesitant to break it especially that we have grandchildren ages 2 and 11. Besides, our gifts are not extravagant since they are just a token of our love for each other. The great part though is in the opening them, hearing a lot of ohh and ahh and trying on clothes for size. It is also a good opportunity to get fun pictures.
As I thought about it, I asked myself what gifts we could give to excite our children, they are no longer kids writing to Santa Clause for a toy. They are not choosy either but not home decor nor going out clothes, they have definite ideas about both. Maybe their favorite coffee blend will do, but then, I have to get the expensive capsules, not the instant powder nor the beans. Maybe they don't even want anything.
How to choose a gift then? The best way it to asked for a wish list, another is to give three choices before we even buy, that way the recipient gets an idea how much we are willing to spend; though this leaves out the element of surprise.
Our last birthdays were milestones since Jim and I turned 70, My son said:
"Mom, notice that we didn't give you anything because we wanted to give you a significant gift and we decided to give you a trip to visit us, so go ahead and get tickets in any airline of your choice". They gave Jim the same gift 8 months later.
I don't know whether my earlier idea of a gift is different from yours because all along, I thought that a gift should be both a novelty and a luxury; something the recipient wouldn't buy for himself because it is a whim; also impractical but wants it anyway.
In recent years however especially when times were more difficult and things became expensive people started giving practical gifts again. Food like cakes, cookies, ham and cheese, pastries, a basket of fruits are the most common.
I recall a colleague who when christmas comes around would give a wish list to her secretary to spread the word to the different departments. The list consisted of facial and bathroom tissue, bath and laundry soap, toothpaste, mouthwash, dish washing liquid, lotion and even sanitary napkins.
In my teen years a gift like those would be an insult for it would seem like charity and there's the chance that the recipient will be offended and may say:
"Why, does she think I can't buy these for myself?"
What then if we don't like a gift we got? Dan Erickson in one of his blogs at Hip Diggs says that we can do anything with our gifts; donate to charity, give it away or sell, whatever. There is no rule to keep them since we are already the owners.
Last Christmas, I learned to be practical in buying gifts, this Christmas, I'll be more creative, I'll definitely get items that won't be stashed in a closet to occupy space or something that they may just give away.
What about you, do you feel the same way about gifts? I'd like to hear your thoughts in the comments.
No comments:
Post a Comment