My two daughters and I compare notes regularly on our cooking/menu planning as well as the progress of our decluttering. My older daughter who lives in town told me the other day that she was able to sell at least two big items on line this week.
While we were chatting on line last night, my younger daughter abroad happily told me that she was able to sell a few things recently as well. I too, mentioned that I'm continuously weeding out some of my clothes and kitchen items. We are always glad to share our decluttering activities because this is liberating, besides, who doesn't want to get a few bucks out of it?
I also told my younger daughter that I don't touch her dad's stuff and that Jim laughingly said of himself once that he is a hoarder. He is reluctant to let go of his stuff even though he knows that he won't be using them anytime soon.
"To be fair, Dad seldom buys stuff for himself", my younger daughter replied. "I agree", Jim is very discriminate especially with his clothes, they are timeless and no extreme fashion for him, so they last.
"Btw", my younger daughter continues ;
"I read an article about decluttering if your family is not ready".
"Oh, really, I have to read that, can you send me the link?", I asked.
"It's in a minimalist blog", she replied.
So I eagerly clicked to Google and searched:
"How to declutter if a family member is not ready or willing".
I did not only find what I was looking for but in the process, I found a new perspective about decluttering from a blog:
"What to do if you are organized but your partner isn't".
By Erin Dolan, Unclutterer.com
It talks about "mismatched couples who have difficulty getting along since one is neat and orderly while the other is not".
I did not realize that this issue is rather common in many households. While this is a trivial issue to some, it maybe crucial to others; truly relevant as finances or living arrangements couples should consider before making a commitment. Coping mechanisms were suggested in the blog, a simple example is when a partner can't tolerate the clutter, he/she should do the regular organizing. This may work for awhile but the danger of not bringing the matter in the open may create animosity between partners and a breakup maybe a consequence.
As I thought of my predicament, it dawned on me that decluttering doesn't mean giving up most of our stuff and turn ourselves minimalists. If we are not ready, keeping things we love (or for whatever reason) is okay as long as they are organized; after all, the ultimate goal of decluttering is order, the absence of mess. If there's a place for everything, putting them away becomes habitual and it would be easy as well to locate them when necessary.
I must say that even if Jim won't go all out decluttering his stuff, he is a very organized person and he can't tolerate mess. When things are in disarray, he will roll his sleeves and fix things, he will even sweep if this is what is necessary to keep a clean and orderly home.
I'll never forget the big lesson he gave me very early into our marriage. One afternoon, I hurried home from the office to prepare dinner and to fix our room. But I got the big surprise of my life when I saw every corner of our room spick and span, everything were in place, our bed neatly made and our clothes were folded and arranged properly.
I guess my husband didn't want to embarrass me for being sloppy and he thought better to show me how he wants our home to be. I understood that he wants our home ship shape always. Then and there, the only thing to do is to thank him. I also resolved to do better and to this day, I am forever grateful for a life-long lesson in being organized.
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