MERRY OLDIE; 5 Things I Wrote My Children Before We Part

When I read this article in Pinterest several months ago:

“5 Things To Tell Your Children Before You Die”

by Ethan Rose @ thedailypositive.com, I thought that is a brilliant idea. 

After all, as they all say, tomorrow is not promised, and yes, especially for us seniors who are practically counting our days; I believe that it is urgent. 

So I did not hesitate, I “hit the iron while still hot”; a letter went out to each of my children on their birthdays that year. 

My children and their families

What was their content? Here are what the article suggested: 

1- Say “Thank You” 

for the joy that they brought to your life, for the chance to nurture and to love someone beyond yourself. I had a lot to say here, my children are thoughtful and generous not only on material things, but more on their time and attention. Each child is unique that the letter can’t be stereotype. 

2-Say “I Love You”, 

Rose says it is an affirmation that they need to hear, regardless of age. You can say why you say so; is it their thoughtfulness, their kindness? 

3-Say “I’m sorry” 

for those you said or may have done; and even for those you left undone. I am quoting a stanza lifted from one of my favorite poems: 

 “The Sins of Omission” by Margaret Sangster. 

      “It isn’t the thing you do, dear; 

        it’s the thing you leave undone, 

        That gives you a bit of heartache 

        At the setting of the sun”.

I suggest you read the whole poem to guide you on what you need to say on this topic, you can cite specifics. 

I didn’t realize I had a lot to write here; but I congratulated myself for being brave enough to do so. You can imagine that the letters were lengthy. 

4-Say your Appreciation and Praise them.

Everyone wants to hear a praise or two. It enhances self confidence, self esteem and most of all self love. It is important that from an early age, children hear them from their parents. Yet even with adults, it is still important especially when praise comes from parents which are guaranteed to be sincere and absolutely true. 

5-Say- you are Proud of them.

Rose says that in this age and time, parents must counter the noise from social media where people are expected “to become more, do more, get more, succeed, strive to look a certain way to be ‘good’ “, to be acceptable. 

Children must understand that whatever they want to do with their lives will not make them less loved. They must understand that social media standards don’t matter in the way they choose to live and be. 

So why a letter? You ask why you can’t just sit them down and tell them personally? That is fine as well, but then a letter will go down in history, even after we die. Moreover, your child may want to go over the letter occasionally even when you’re still alive or while remembering you; it becomes your legacy. 

Just last night, i went over the letters from last year and I realized that they are as current as they will ever be until the end of my life. 

So friends, will you wait until the last minute at your deathbed when you can hardly speak anymore? That is, if you will ever have the chance. It maybe too late. As bad as I may have said that, just saying that it is important to do it NOW. 

FEELING FINE AT 79

I feel blessed and forever grateful as I tick away another year from my life calendar. Over the years, there are lessons learned that I’d like to share; along with ways I intend to continue thriving happily through the time I have left.

Like most seniors, simplicity has become the norm; naps and simple meals sound good. Happiness is not defined by a bustling social life; there is peace and quiet found in solitude. But it is never lonely if we do occasional catch-ups with a small circle of friends. Lucky for me to have friends and neighbors who walk with me every morning. That is my ikigai.

I know that someone said: “I am not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay”; I am my own favorite brew. I know that my worth is not determined by the approval of others. I will live by my own values; not by others’ standards or expectations. I will surround myself with people who will uplift me and will touch hearts. I will walk the path with those who appreciate me for who I am, quirks, imperfections and all.

Since the early days, I’ve learned never to compare myself with others; life isn’t a competition, it’s a journey to be enjoyed in spite my circumstances and challenges. I will continue to embrace my strengths and weaknesses; I will strive to learn from them to be a better person than I was yesterday.

I commit to lifelong learning, it keeps my mind sharp, active and engaged because it can open avenues for new interests that could be pursued. I embrace technology, though I am not a techie it keeps me in touch with this ever changing world; so I try to learn and apply every new IOS.

I prioritize self care. It is necessary for maintaining balance, the emotional, mental and physical faculties. I will engage in activities that nourish and rejuvenate me; in so doing I could be a better version of myself for Jim and for my children.

I do not stress on things that I can’t control. When I am thrown with a curve ball, I lean on the wisdom of the serenity prayer:

“The Serenity to accept things I cannot change, Courage to change those that I can and the Wisdom to know the difference”.

As I continue on this journey, I no longer seek my next big dream, nor chase unattainable perfection. I don’t grapple with past regrets. I will follow the Toaist principle of living simply and appreciating the present moment. I’m happy gardening, bonding with family, walking with friends, reading novels and watching movies. I do listen to political and social podcasts and watch sports with Jim.

Fumio Sasaki reminds us in his book, “Goodbye Things”. that our worth is not defined by our wardrobe, neither the possessions we acquired, nor the lifestyle we lead but by the depth of our relationships, the richness of our experiences and the authenticity of our lives.

I know that my life is better than a dream not because I am rich or famous but because of the quality of a simple life devoid of envy, stress, anger and everything that is negative. As one of my friends said: “your life is as great as your mindset”.

And Ava Sinclair says: “ we each has our own unique rhythm in the dance of life”.

Finally I believe that “the heart of a man plans his way; but The Lord establishes his steps”-Proverbs 16.9.

The Sweet Magnolias fascination: Lululemon Sports Gear

The Lululemon brand was already being talked about in our circle before we even got hold of one. It is a coveted brand because of its quality; it has a good fit, comfortable and gives great satisfaction to the wearer, if I say so myself.

Delia, a dear family friend; (her dad and mine were best friends) who is also my former high school student is currently residing in Texas. We have reconnected on facebook a few years back. 

One day I got a package from her via DHL containing a full gear of Lululemon apparels. Leggings, shirt, sports bras, waist pack and headband. She even added sun screens, lipsticks and lip glosses. You can imagine how grateful I was to receive them and how excited to wear them as well. This leggings is just one from the package. 

That’s me with my Lululemon waist pack on. It has my iPhone, a rosary, and a hanky. This waist pack is so light and not bulky.

Carol, when in the US also got herself leggings and waist packs. Soon, Tess’ sister from the US brought her several Lululemon items without knowing that she likes the brand. 

One day Cheska, the best shopper in our group discovered export overruns of the brand in a mall. Some of us couldn’t wait to checkout what was available. 

Immediately Tess as usual went and bought several pieces, tennis/golf skirts, leggings and tees, whatever were available that fitted her. Carol and Celine too, bought a few pieces. Tess even left her number so she could be contacted once new items arrive. 

This was a topic of conversation during our daily walks; everyone telling the group how happy they were about their great finds. Below are photos of them wearing their purchases.

Above, Tess with Lululemon top and bottoms

Here, Cheska and Tess in full Lululemon OOTD.

Tess in lavender shirt to match her Lululemon blue mini.

Recently, Dolly came back from the Big Apple and while there she couldn’t help herself from buying half a dozen Lululemon pleated tennis skirts and some tees that she sports one by one.

The above shows one of Dolly’’s Lululemon pleated skirt and Carol with her pink skirt of the same brand.

I couldn’t believe that for a while, we went crazy over these items as if we couldn’t get enough of them. But then the satisfaction is fulfilled once the item is acquired.

However, I believe that It is justified to invest on exercise gear; it is important to be properly dressed, to be comfortable with a feel-good vibes while we exercise. This adds to one’s motivation and determination to keep going. 

Does it have to be Lululemon? NO! Any brand of choice will do. Like I said it just took our fancy. But the gear is the key!

MERRY OLDIE: THE SWEET MANOLIAS’ HOKA CRAZE

Cheska introduced Hoka to the Sweet Magnolias; (a name we call our group). Her friend in Singapore enticed her to get one. Fortunately, her husband was in Singapore at the time so he brought it home. She liked it so much that she went to the Hoka store at Ayala Mall while it was on introductory promo. 

When Tess learned about it, she immediately went to Ayala Malls and initially got 2 pairs, then she went right back for more. 

Not to be outdone, Carol and Claire also went to the store and came home with two pairs each. Dolly was teasing Carol having a Hoka addiction for she kept on buying, now she has 6 pairs. 

What about the rest of the group? Well, my daughter got me my first Hoka. I arrived in Singapore in April last year and my orange rincon was waiting for me, to my extreme delight. Since we were already there Jim urged me to buy. another pair and I did. 

Upon learning about this, my children were laughing they said that “there is also peer pressure among adults”. I didn’t mind them for I knew that they were just happy for me. 

But my husband is indulgent; when we got back home, he ordered two more pairs for me, the Bondi 8 and the Clifton 9 were great choices. So far, these two models are my favorites because of their comfort, cushion and stability. But the Rincon is also good because it is the lightest of the Hokas. 

Juliet was lucky for her sister in the US sent her 2 pairs, then her daughter also in the US sent her a pair as well. Upon hearing this, het family went to the store one shopping weekend and the family bought 8 pairs that made Juliet’s Hokas 4. Her sister asked if she wants more and she said, enough already. 

Celine has a lot of rubber shoes but she was not immune to the pressure as well that she bought a couple of pairs. Today, Joy just got back from Japan where her daughter bought her a Clifton 9 and a rincon 3. 

Neither Dolly nor Mel are immune, or maybe they just wanted to show that they are one with the group so they bought a pair each. 

But “Tess has the mostest”. I really lost count; a dozen maybe or even more. She earlier joined two KLM marathons in the Netherlands and in both, she wore Hoka

Soon after Tess gave away all her other shoes since she only wants to wear hoka, except an Asics because it was pink and she is comfortable in it. 

Her friend in Rotterdam who also got hooked with Hoka started ordering online but was hiding it from her husband who may think it was too much. She made sure she was home when the items arrived.

 Her fourth pair arrived when Tess’ friend was out. Upon getting home, her husband handed her the packaged and said: “here’s your 4th hoka”. See, no matter how much we hide, husbands are not fools to know what’s going on, but I guess they are tolerant because they love us and want us to be happy. “ Happy wife, happy life”, right? 

MERRY OLDIE 2: A day in the life if a senior citizen

About a year ago we took up the suggestion of Aira, Carol’s daughter by programming our daily walking outfit and adapted a color for each day. We were excited to see our photos looking nice with our monochromatic color scheme. 

Thereafter, majorly of us had to complete our wardrobes with all the colors of the rainbow and more, we even went to the extent of buying all shades of favorite colors. . We did not stick to a definite shade, if it’s a blue day, all shades of blue is fine. 

We made a color calendar for the month, we standardized three days within a week as follows:

Mondays- blue to mimic blue Mondays; 

Wednesdays- pink since we followed Leni’s lead and

Fridays- black, as in black Friday. 

Due to many conversations in our group chat, some of us lose their color calendar and they would start asking: “what’s tomorrow’s color. Tess even took pains by posting her selfie wearing the color of the day before she starts jogging as early as 4 or thereabouts. That made no mistaking what shirt to wear. 

It also encouraged us not to miss walking if our fave color is scheduled. Juliet won’t miss an orange day, her favorite. 

Lately however, this practice seems to grow old on us; it prevented us from using what we felt like wearing for the day, it cramps our style and fashion sense. As Claire said: “we must bring out our authentic selves”. 

I put out a survey in our group chat to know who wants a reprieve from this so-called “uniform” and unanimously it was carried. Therefore for the month of August we will wear whatever took our fancy. Next month, we can always revert back to the color calendar it we so desire.

Here we are today, walking happily in our color choices. 

Merry Oldie

A day in the life of a retiree.

I am loving my life like a senior citizen should. Waking up at dawn to get ready for my walk with neighbors and friends is what makes me get up early, my ikigai as they say.

My walk practically defines my day since we share our concerns and challenges, retelling our activities the day before, telling jokes that open to laughter and banter. Soon we complete our goal of 10,000 steps without noticing that we are done.

Sometimes we detour to buy plantain from a homeowner that offers a great variety at a good price or pass by a street to check on plants that interest us

When I get home, Jim and I share our morning walk stories over breakfast that sets a good mood that prevails the whole day. What more is there to ask for? We appreciate these simple things that make our day

What really delays us is our picture taking. Fortunately, Jim takes great photos that we always look for him when it is light enough to get a good shot. We choose nice views or backgrounds for our photos. We never run out of nice backgrounds for in this community, homeowners take care of their home's curve appeal.

In the absence of Tess, who stays in her other home in the Netherlands every quarter, I post the daily photos on facebook with a quote, a prayer or a brief detail of what was shared during the walk.

The latest photo above was taken close to my home.

SWEET MAGNOLIAS’ VALENTINE NIGHT

​Valentine has been celebrated centuries ago and went on passed the turn of the millennium. It is a consequential moment to think not only of our significant other but of people close to our hearts. It is a time to showcase our love, gratitude and appreciation to those dear to us. 

Certainly, Dolly did just that; she did no limit her attention towards her “Love” alone but set this day to glorify friendship; she invited us all to an awesome dinner at her lovely home. 

“Wait, there’s more”, (Dolly would often say when retelling stories), she invited a quartet from the UP Madrigal Singers. They entertained us throughout the night with their melodious repertoire making the night so enjoyable. 

Not to be outdone, the Magnolias have great singers too, but only Celine and Joy were confident enough to sing. 

Celine belted “Just Tell Me You Love Me” in her smooth and southing voice. 

Followed by Joy in her rendition of 

“Isang Linggong Pagibig”

This was when we missed Claire, our very own Disney Princess, who could have shown her prowess in anything Disney. 

The rest of us were just

Dinner was a wonderful affairs with sumptuous food and dessert galore. After dinner we continued sipping sake from Joy’s Japanese husband while we listened to the sentimental OPM love songs. 

The quartet concluded the night with one of the best renditions of “The Prayer” I’ve ever heard. It got them a resounding round of applause from all of us. 

We thank Dolly for the invite that made our valentine one of the best ever.  We fully appreciate the welcoming attention of Vener, as well as her brother Chito and his understatedly beautiful wife Princess, who was so nice and sweet. 

Happy Valentines Day everyone!