MERRY OLDIE; 5 Things I Wrote My Children Before We Part

When I read this article in Pinterest several months ago:

“5 Things To Tell Your Children Before You Die”

by Ethan Rose @ thedailypositive.com, I thought that is a brilliant idea. 

After all, as they all say, tomorrow is not promised, and yes, especially for us seniors who are practically counting our days; I believe that it is urgent. 

So I did not hesitate, I “hit the iron while still hot”; a letter went out to each of my children on their birthdays that year. 

My children and their families

What was their content? Here are what the article suggested: 

1- Say “Thank You” 

for the joy that they brought to your life, for the chance to nurture and to love someone beyond yourself. I had a lot to say here, my children are thoughtful and generous not only on material things, but more on their time and attention. Each child is unique that the letter can’t be stereotype. 

2-Say “I Love You”, 

Rose says it is an affirmation that they need to hear, regardless of age. You can say why you say so; is it their thoughtfulness, their kindness? 

3-Say “I’m sorry” 

for those you said or may have done; and even for those you left undone. I am quoting a stanza lifted from one of my favorite poems: 

 “The Sins of Omission” by Margaret Sangster. 

      “It isn’t the thing you do, dear; 

        it’s the thing you leave undone, 

        That gives you a bit of heartache 

        At the setting of the sun”.

I suggest you read the whole poem to guide you on what you need to say on this topic, you can cite specifics. 

I didn’t realize I had a lot to write here; but I congratulated myself for being brave enough to do so. You can imagine that the letters were lengthy. 

4-Say your Appreciation and Praise them.

Everyone wants to hear a praise or two. It enhances self confidence, self esteem and most of all self love. It is important that from an early age, children hear them from their parents. Yet even with adults, it is still important especially when praise comes from parents which are guaranteed to be sincere and absolutely true. 

5-Say- you are Proud of them.

Rose says that in this age and time, parents must counter the noise from social media where people are expected “to become more, do more, get more, succeed, strive to look a certain way to be ‘good’ “, to be acceptable. 

Children must understand that whatever they want to do with their lives will not make them less loved. They must understand that social media standards don’t matter in the way they choose to live and be. 

So why a letter? You ask why you can’t just sit them down and tell them personally? That is fine as well, but then a letter will go down in history, even after we die. Moreover, your child may want to go over the letter occasionally even when you’re still alive or while remembering you; it becomes your legacy. 

Just last night, i went over the letters from last year and I realized that they are as current as they will ever be until the end of my life. 

So friends, will you wait until the last minute at your deathbed when you can hardly speak anymore? That is, if you will ever have the chance. It maybe too late. As bad as I may have said that, just saying that it is important to do it NOW.