One advantage of being retired is having more time to reflect and appreciate how wonderful life really is. After focusing on decluttering and trying to live a simple life I want to right everything to have a clear mind and a lighter heart. I want to make amends for my mistakes, my omissions, my shortcomings as well as acts that were not very pleasing to others. In other words, I'm trying to eliminate all my dead spots.
What is a dead spot? In the digital world, it is a place with no signal, rendering communication impossible with our cellphone. On an iPad or iPhone screen, a dead spot is sometimes observed when we click an icon and nothing happens.
In the ocean or bodies of water, dead zone means lack of oxygen in the water that fish and marine life have difficulty to survive. Hence a dead spot is a place where life is difficult or where there can be no life at all.
What about us, do we have dead spots? When the priest asked this at Sunday mass, I couldn't get it out of my mind. So I went through an examination of conscience to know my dead spots. I realized then that this isn't just physical, in fact I believe I need more work on the emotional and mental aspects.
Physically, we are alerted by discomfort or pain, but sometimes we can't even feel anything. Sans the pain, we just have to do regular medical check-ups; when there is pain we know that we need to see our doctor.
Wouldn't it be wise then to be vigilant so we don't develop a dead spot? I believe that the elderly are more conscious of this because when we are young we are inclined to think or feel invincible that we tend to neglect our physical health. Late nights, too much booze, erratic diet are some of the pitfalls; It's a pity that we don't always see the relevance of a healthy lifestyle when we are younger. On the emotional and mental part, I know that I have to be conscious of my thoughts, words and actions.
This is what Jim and I do to keep physical dead spots at bay:
Definitely exercise is a given.
We garden for enjoyment and to de-stress.
Feeling a pain? We see our Iridologist.
If it's a numbness, a sprain or a fracture, we go to our chiropractor.
We keep our faculties intact by reading a lot, we try to recall things that elude our minds and if recalling takes so long to a point that the effort gives us a headache, we google the answer. We update ourselves to be current all the time. When I compose my blog, he helps me choose the right words. Hopefully, all these work of the brain will keep us lucid for the longest time. My mother-in-law often said:
"what you don't use, you lose",
that's why we need to exercise our brains as well.
What is most challenging for me and I believe is also true to others is conquering our emotional dead spots.
"Am I still angry with someone?",
I ask myself. If so, then I should forgive, though it would be good for me to stay away from this person from now on.
"Did I act out of propriety? Did I offend someone? Was my anger misplaced?" I can't live with something like that so, i do need to rectify it. An apology is in order.
"Did I fail to do something for somebody, even without his knowledge?". Margaret Elizabeth Sangster, in her famous poem, The Sin of Omission aptly explains this. Below is the first stanza:
"It's not the thing you do, dear;
It's the thing you leave undone;
that gives you a bit of heartache
at the setting of the sun."
Upon reflection, I feel that this last issue is the reason for some sleepless nights. It is hard to cope with guilt that we often say: "if only"; and ask, "what if?", "would that have assured someone, comforted someone, appeased someone?"
In retrospect, I feel lucky that I can still make up for some issues while there is time.
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