'Tis The Season For Family Bonding

Christmas is being merry with family and friends;  eating, drinking, laughing and loving each other. 

" 'Tis the season to be jolly,  falalalalala-lalalala! ".

Our family bonding started early this season when Jim's brother, his wife and daughter from Vancouver visited in late November.  His name is JOY and his wife, BESS, they were the first to bring the "Bess Joy" this holiday season. 

 

Right after they left, I was suddenly called to Singapore to help my grandson adjust to his new nanny.  I've looked forward to seeing him this Christmas, little did I know that I'll get a bonus bonding with him for a week. 

I've been preparing for these family Christmas visits for quite sometime now because for once in the last decade, all our children will be here on this, the holiest and most celebrated season of the year.  

Jim said that we should put more emphasis on quality time bonding with them, but as a Mom and the host with Jim, I can't help but anticipate everything that will make being together more joyful and memorable. 

This is just the second Christmas in this "new" home that's why I want to make sure everyone will be comfortable.   There's so much to think about that it's easy to forget things like coffee or tea. Just being together with family on Christmas is already great, but food will put everyone in the best of moods, food that excite and delight and that could only be found at home, and not anywhere else is what I think I'll prepare. 

Feeding family who are used to and are often tired of hotel and airplane food is quite a challenging feat if we want  them to feel special.  That's true of my son and daughter-in-law who travel on business frequently and who can only visit with our 2 1/2-year-old grandson at most twice a year, one of which is Christmas. 

Likewise with my younger daughter and son-in-law who are equally busy with work and can't be bothered cooking regularly that they often eat out or take out food.  They too are missing local home-cooked meals and I'd like to prepare their favorites. 

This Christmas is doubly special and exciting because my sister and brother-in-law are in town as well, they haven't been home for Christmas since they migrated to the US in the early 80's.  I know that there are food that they too have been missing for quite sometime and Its a good thing that they tell me what they like. 

Knowing their preferences, I have to put my spin on local home-cooked meals; however for Noche Buena, I have to incorporate traditional holiday food to make the menu more festive. 

We are not used to an over-flowing Christmas table and worry about left-overs afterwards.  So I plan to make enough for everyone and make sure to prepare traditional dishes so that each family member will feel that they are worth coming home to. 

Meanwhile, I just completed putting together our gifts. Now I look forward to our tradition of exchange gifts, not really because of the gifts but for the surprise, the laughter and the joking as we open them.  The fun of taking pictures will round up the celebration. 

The menu for the next four days is final but flexible. Now, I say that I'm ready and excitedly looking forward to our family get-together, not only on Christmas Eve but throughout the Christmas holidays. 

I'm sure that you too, my friends are just as excited anticipating this happy occasion.  From our home to your home,  I'm extending sincere wishes of love, peace and joy to you all.    Merry Christmas!

A Positive Mindset Conquers Aging

Another year is almost upon us and next year we will all be one year older.  I'll be honest that sometimes I do hesitate to even acknowledge, much more to accept it.  On second thought, why not?  Bring it on!

If you have been reading my blogs maybe you'd wonder where all that positivity is coming from.   Do I have issues about getting older?   Is it true that being older is really better?  

I must admit that getting older is a hard task, it can be daunting and over-whelming at times; it feels like navigating in unknown territory by myself.  I just refuse to dwell on the downside because it would be futile.  However it helps that books and blogs spell out what others are going through. 

But here's the reality, let me tell you some common issues of women over 60 including my two-cents worth experience.

Old people are scorned by society.

Some old folks feel that they are not treated like productive members of society anymore, just an extra baggage with no use whatsoever, oftentimes a burden.  Many experience difficulty blending in and making new friends. 

Keeping a good figure is impossible.

No matter how we exercise and diet, our hips and tummy  expand and nothing stay firm anymore, almost everything are going down.  Get the picture?

No more stilettos!

I recall the last time I wore one was at my older daughter's wedding twelve years ago.   Early this year, I bought not an stiletto but a 2 1/2-inch-thick-heeled-non-skid shoes for a party.  Conscious that I will be off-balanced and stumble, I practiced wearing them to church the Sunday before.  Jim noticed and he even teased me.  I couldn't  look anywhere except where I was going, I had to look down every step of the way so I wouldn't fall and get a fracture.  

Old people are forgetful and tired of making lists. 

Ever heard the classic anecdote about grandma looking for her glasses everywhere until someone tells her that she's wearing them?  

And have you ever experienced going up to your room to get something but when you got there you forgot what you were supposed to get?   You go down again to recall what triggered you to get that something and you remember. 

My son reminded me early on that a short pencil is better than a long memory;  going to the mall we need a list so we won't miss anything, the same is true at the grocery and the Home Depot.   When we travel we list down what to bring.  This list-making goes on forever. 

Last week when Jim went to the mall for two things plus the one I asked him to  get for me.  He knew he had to get three items but he couldn't recall the third so he came back without my request. He forgot to make a list!

Time is running out

We seniors are conscious of time, making the most of everyday is urgent.  Twenty-four hours seem so short that we are urged to do things immediately, there are other things to do tomorrow.  

I feel that there is not enough time to bond with my children and grandchildren; I can only make the most of every possible opportunity.

Health and financial issues

You may not know it but a lot of old folks have health and financial issues, either one of those is a difficult situation to be in.  What's worst is when we are experiencing both. 

I feel blessed that those are not my concerns at the present time, still Jim and I feel that we have to be prudent in using our resources.  While we still earn an income, we don't want to touch our egg nest.  We want to be financially independent through life even though our children are generous.  For now we could only thank them but at least we feel secure that we can holler if we need help. 

Though we have to acknowledge and learn to deal with the difficult issues of aging, a positive attitude is the best way to cope.  The Sixty and Me blogs of women advocate every positive mindset about aging. 

Here are the positive things that allay my doubts about the present and the future. 

The world is ours!

We can do anything we want, we can travel without feeling guilty leaving someone at home.  We have time to explore and indulge in our passions, to remodel/renovate our home to better suit our needs, to cultivate Mother Earth and produce our own food and so much more. 

The joy of grand-parenting

One of the greatest blessings in life is having grandchildren. What joy they bring to our lives.  When our first grandchild, our granddaughter was a few months old, we looked forward three times a week when get her to spent the day with us and they were just pure joy. 

When we first visited our grandson abroad, I almost didn't want to sleep.  I stayed until the small hours of the morning feeding, cradling and watching him sleep, doing just that felt so good. 

Reunions

Getting together with old friends and former classmates is a big deal.  Many of us travel across oceans just to attend a homecoming.  

It's always great to catch up and know how and what they are doing.  Conversations are less about fashion and corporate life but more focused on family, especially grandchildren.  Who doesn't have a grandchild's picture on his iPhone?  Grandchildren is a big part of everyone's Facebook posts. 

Accept the inevitable.

We can never get back our youthful vim, vigor and vitality.  We are aware that our energy will gradually deteriorate but we can prolong this with proper diet and exercise. 

More wrinkles will appear not only on the face but all over; our hair will become gray and even fall.  It's a good thing I found olive shampoo that makes my hair grow while others' hair is thinning and falling. 

The fight is over!

As we age, we realize that fighting aging is a losing battle, we still prim ourselves so we look good but not to impress others, only to feel good about ourselves. Who cares about what others think about our looks anyway?

Be a mentor

One of the blogs @Sixtyandme.com, suggests that old folks should mentor someone, a way to put to good use our accumulated life experience and wisdom.  This should make us feel great. 

Old age makes us more tolerant and understanding. 

When we were younger some of us have no patience towards others to a point of being critical or even angry.  Now we can parallel situations with our own challenging life experiences. 

Earlier on what often looked like a hassle seem an easy task nowadays because we now have the time.   We couldn't be bothered earlier because we had more important things to do.

Aging makes us more sensitive and compassionate 

Maybe the sensitivity and the compassion was there all along, but we were often rushing, oblivious to the people around us.  Now we have all the time to see the plight of others. 

After all has been said and done, I feel it fitting to share an inspirational post of my friend Nina on Facebook yesterday.  It is truly an enlightenment that made me more optimistic about the future. 

  

"We must learn to appreciate life even if it is not as perfect as we want it to be; contentment is not the fulfillment of what we wish for but an appreciation of what we are already blessed with.  Let us remember that not everyone is given the chance to grow old"

Note: Thank you to my husband Jim, for all his positive input to complete this blog. 

Look Over The Fence And See Our Backyard

Welcome to our edible backyard garden!  Come this way, here's the entrance.  

Here's the view from the garden looking towards the opposite side.  We have a ledge on the left made of sturdy narra. Beyond that is an alternate table we use when it is raining and we still want to stay outdoors. 

This is our outdoor kitchen found on the right side when we face out from the yard. 

Now, here's the latest on our edible backyard garden. 

Whether we choose it or not, all gardens undergo transformation from time to time.  Plants grow, some bear flowers and die, leafy veggies are kept until there are good leaves; and when plants grow wild trimming or replacement is necessary.  

Landscape has specific functions and this time we believe that we made the ideal arrangement for our purpose; we now have a serene oasis for reading a book, writing my blog or just for relaxation and reflection.  At the same time we have an entertainment area to enjoy with friends and family.   

We saw the need for a bigger table so Jim had this fabricated with his specifications out of tubular wrought iron and GI sheet.  He painted the base light silver gray himself that closely matches the GI sheet.  Now it has a modern industrial appeal that has become popular in recent years.  

We chose these materials over wood even though wood is a classic favorite because they will stand up to the weather over time.  The table and the grill cover has a uniform look now.  

We had this new grill built at the far end because the former one was occupying the better part of the shade under the mango tree.  This opened up the shaded area to accommodate a bigger table that could sit 8-10 people comfortably.  

We tore down this old grill, look how it used to dominate the space of the shaded area. 

On the other end of the table is a sturdy wooden ledge made of a hard wood that is kamagong that my brother-in-law left with us when he and his family migrated to Vancouver.  It now serves as a buffet table or extra seating.  

See those heavy wooden bar stools?  My brother-in-law also left us 5 of them, we can always pull them out to accommodate more guests.

See the lighted area behind the ledge?  That's our outdoor kitchen. 

Opposite the seating area is the storage shed which my granddaughter calls the "tiny house"  

This is the entrance to the shed.

I had fun putting together these personalized garden decor to make it truly our own.   

Notice that the okra has grown very tall, it is almost reaching up to the shed window.  These okra give us 5-8 fruits everyday to steam for our meal.

Jim's cherry tomatoes are starting to bear fruits and not before long the bunches of fruits will ripen. 

These two plots are full of kailan and partly okra. 

Jim suggested we put the potted lemons and kalamansi in a row to create a semblance of a "wall" between the plots and paved eating area.  

Jim takes a greater role in our front lawn and backyard garden because he enjoys gardening and he has the greener thumb.   He plants and takes special care of the veggies that are bringing food to our table.  Isn't he great? 

We're lucky that we can grow a few lemon fruits, I only regret that oftentimes lots of flowers bloom but they fall, I am happy though with the kalamansi that can hold its flowers until they become fruits.  

We hope that the string beans recently sowed by our bedroom wall will grow robust even if they get less sun.  These replaced the Ceylon spinach that grew so wild, it's tops were going every which way, it was so unruly. 

That's all folks!

We are happy with the turn out of this backyard and we take pleasure staying there most of the time.  This maybe just an ordinary garden but it is our pride and joy. 

All Saints' Day Reflection

All Saints' Day is almost here again, and to most people, this is a time to remember loved ones who passed.  I always remember my Papa and Mama most especially this time when I offer mass for their eternal repose. 

Since we buried my Mama in 1980, (my Papa went a year earlier) I haven't been back to my hometown nor looked back.  It was really hard for me to go back home in the earlier days and even to this day. Being there brings back all the memories that it hurt so much.  I can't bear entering our ancestral home to find that they are no longer there.   I believe that I can never be totally over their passing after all these years. 

The townsfolk, including my close friends and especially our relatives must have thought me heartless and insensitive not going to my parents' graves at least during the traditional All Saints' Day visit.  But the folks are kind, I never heard anything like that, I guess they respect my feelings.

You see, I believe that my parents are already in a better place; there's nothing there anymore.   I don't have to go to the cemetery to prove that I haven't turned my back on them.  Maybe my belief is not a popular one, no offense to those who think otherwise.  

But I know that they are always in my heart and mind.  They are in the memories I treasure, in the values and life lessons they taught me as well as in their love and care that made me who I am today in more ways than one. 

I love my parents very much but I regret not being able to give them enough comfort in their old age; they stayed in the province but we siblings lived in the Metro.  Not that I didn't try but I would have wanted them to have enjoyed life more in their later years.

My parents were not demanding, not at all.  In fact they never asked for anything but they were appreciative and thankful for what we could share and for the time we spent with them.  They never complained, they were just glad knowing that we, their children were happy and well. 

If they were alive today, they would have been excited having an iPad because their passion is reading, I would have downloaded ebooks for them, I can just imagine them reading novel after novel.  They would have enjoyed learning about the latest news and about the world via the Internet.  In their time they lived waiting for their weekly subscription of magazines to arrive and the paperbacks they ordered. 

If I can bring back the hands of time, that would be my greatest wish.  Here is where I want to thank them for introducing me to the world of books. 

Thank you Papa for showing me how to value hard work through gardening and farming.  You really had a green thumb, your ponderosa variety of chikoo or sapodilla were the best, they were bigger than the largest Fuji Apple, juicy and sweet as well.  The sweet-smelling  flowers of the magnolia you planted in our front lawn were really perfume material. 

Mama, I always admired your humble and quiet ways, accepting whatever life hands out.  Never a sigh or a word of complain did I hear when times were hard, you made almost everything possible, I know you tried very hard when things seemed hopeless. 

I can never forget the happy times baking cakes with you; angel food cake, pineapple upside down along with the other pastries in your baking repertoire.  I could never again taste a cake as good as those unless I bake them like you taught me.

 I can't believe that we made angel food cake using a fork to beat a dozen egg-whites until soft peaks formed.  Oh Mama, why didn't you buy a mixer?  You could afford it, we were not rich but we were not poor either.  I recall we also used a makeshift oven without a temperature gauge over a gas stove, something quite impossible now, but the cakes always turned out great.  I remember also that your  leche flan (creme brûlée) was the best!

On this coming All Saints Day, you know that I won't be there at the cemetery as always but I'll be remembering and praying for you both.  It would take me a lifetime to really say goodbye and that you will be in my heart forever. 

What Gifts to Give This Christmas?

We were visiting our son and his family when the subject of Christmas came about. My son said:

"I was thinking that maybe we should stop giving gifts on birthdays and Christmases, but not on my birthday this month", he jokingly continued. 

I fully understand where he is coming from; first he knows that we are all decluttering and striving to minimize our material possessions; well at least my two daughters and I.  

Secondly, like me he maybe running out of ideas what to get as gifts and thirdly (I think this is the most important reason), he believes that the best place to put his money is in new experiences in life rather than material things.  

But exchange gifts is a family tradition, one of the highlights of our Christmas celebration and I am hesitant to break it especially that we have grandchildren ages 2 and 11.  Besides, our gifts are not extravagant since they are just a token of our love for each other.  The great part though is in the opening them, hearing a lot of ohh and ahh and trying on clothes for size.  It is also a good opportunity to get fun pictures. 

As I thought about it, I asked myself what gifts we could give to excite our children, they are no longer kids writing to Santa Clause for a toy.  They are not choosy either but not home decor nor going out clothes, they have definite ideas about both.  Maybe their favorite coffee blend will do, but then, I have to get the expensive capsules, not the instant powder nor the beans.   Maybe they don't even want anything.  

How to choose a gift then?  The best way it to asked for a wish list, another is to give three choices before we even buy, that way the recipient gets an idea how much we are willing to spend; though this leaves out the element of surprise.

Our last birthdays were milestones since Jim and I turned 70, My son said: 

"Mom, notice that we didn't give you anything because we wanted to give you a significant gift and we decided to give you a trip to visit us, so go ahead and get tickets in any airline of your choice".  They gave Jim the same gift 8 months later.  

I don't know whether my earlier idea of a gift is different from yours because all along, I thought that a gift should be both a novelty and a luxury; something the recipient wouldn't buy for himself because it is a whim; also impractical but wants it anyway. 

In recent years however especially when times were more difficult and things became expensive people started giving practical gifts again.  Food like cakes, cookies, ham and cheese, pastries, a basket of fruits are the most common. 

I recall a colleague who when christmas comes around would give a wish list to her secretary to spread the word to the different departments.  The list consisted of facial and bathroom tissue,  bath and laundry soap, toothpaste, mouthwash, dish washing liquid, lotion and even sanitary napkins.  

In my teen years a gift like those would be an insult for it would seem like charity and there's the chance that the recipient will be offended and may say:

"Why, does she think I can't buy these for myself?"

What then if we don't like a gift we got?  Dan Erickson in one of his blogs at Hip Diggs says that we can do anything with our gifts;  donate to charity,  give it away or sell, whatever.  There is no rule to keep them since we are already the owners.  

Last Christmas, I learned to be practical in buying gifts,  this Christmas, I'll be more creative, I'll definitely get items that won't be stashed in a closet to occupy space or something that they may just give away.

What about you, do you feel the same way about gifts?  I'd like to hear your thoughts in the comments. 

Kailan in Oyster Sauce: My Version

Jim harvested a few stems from our edible backyard garden this morning and I thought I'd share with you my version of kailan in oyster sauce. 

See below the kailan plots. 

Kailan or Gai-lan as the Chinese call it, is also known as Chinese broccoli and belongs to the broccoli species.  It may be prepared like Pak Choy or Bok Choy.

After washing, I took off the leaves and removed the outer skin of the stalks. 

I steamed the leaves and stalks though it could also be blanched with a little salt. 

I soaked four pieces of dried shiitake last night,  now they are hydrated and ready to be sliced into thin pieces.  

The sauce is sautéed garlic, onions and shiitake, oyster sauce, half of pork bouillon, a dash of Italian spices and corn starch in water to thicken.  This is poured over the steamed kailan. 

This was our lunch today, it went well with KFC.  

Want to try it?

Gumamela Brings Joy!

When our children were young, we frequently go to Baguio, the City of Pines located in the northern mountains of the archipelago.  Developed by the Americans as a summer capital, where a US military base,  Camp John Hay is situated. It was built as a leisure place for the American military soldiers and officers.  It has many attractions that it was dubbed as "Little America", it includes a world class competition golf course designed by the golf legend, John Nicklaus. 

"It is sweet", my 7-year-old younger daughter said after sucking the sap of the gumamela flower's  inner core and about to pluck another.  Our family of five were standing on the top level of the Baguio Cathedral grounds during a family vacation.  The flower box bordering the edge was full of single-petal red gumamela in bloom. 

Yes,  the gumamela flowers and leaves are edible, I learned that Hawaiians put the flowers in salads to aide in digestion and the Chinese pickle and eat them.  The leaves and roots made into tea maybe used as herbal medicine as expectorant, diuretic, emollient, anti-pyretic, anti- infectious and anti-inflammatory.  

The gumamela, also known as hibiscus or Chinese Rose is a common ornamental plant in the Philippines.  Information I gathered claim that it originated from India and  eventually found its way to the Asia Pacific.   Today, work to come up with more  colors of gumamela flowers is still  going on. 

BTW, it maybe interesting to know about a Tahitian lore where a gumamela is worn over the right ear shows that a person is looking for a mate; over the left ear means that a mate has been found.  

When we were kids, we mash or pulp the flowers and leaves, add a little soap and water to make a mixture.  Using a hallow papaya stalk, dip it in the mixture and blow bubbles in the air.  What fun that was. 

In our hometown and probably in all provinces, the gumamela plant is everywhere, some houses and establishments allowed it to grow into a hedge to conceal a part of a yard or garden.  In school we were taught the basic parts of a flower using the single-petal gumamela as specimen.  The center of the flower where everything is connected  has a sweet sap that bees and butterflies like. 

I am a gumamela fancier, I find joy in its colorful flowers that bloom all year round.  I fancy more the double-petal ones, though they only last a day while the single-petal variety lasts longer.   

I've always envied houses with gumamela flowers blooming in their yards; so when we moved to our new home a year ago, I initially bought two gumamela plants with yellow-orange flowers.  I had them planted in our front yard along with several cuttings in different colors I gathered from neighbors. 

This is how far my gumamela have grown.

Some cuttings I planted in pots.

Take a look at this rare red double-petal, the single red is the most common.  

I observed that when the plant is still small, the flowers are small as well, in other words, the size of the flowers are proportionate to the plants that bear them. 

This flower has tiny leaves still to develop.  I posted it on Facebook and a friend said that it looks like a painting. As I look longer at this picture, I'm convinced that indeed, it is like a painting. 

I'm still collecting other colors, a relative in the US said that she used to have a black one back home in the Philippines.  Here are close-ups of some I have, I'm missing the peach here. 

Nowadays, I'm so happy with the continuous flowers these plants provide.   Early in the morning, Jim would often call me outside to look at several flowers that opened.  Just admiring the vibrant colors sets our day, definitely adds a lot to our home's curve appeal.