Balikbayan is a term coined for visiting Filipinos who live abroad. "Balik", meaning "return or go back" and "Bayan" means "country". "Balikbayan" is "retuning/going back to country". Balikbayans usually come home, to attend class/club reunions, weddings, anniversaries or simply visit relatives.
The visit of a nephew, J and his Vietnamese girlfriend Li, from Vancouver this past week prompted me to write this blog. When his family migrated to Canada, he was four years old; the whole family came back for a brief visit when he was about nine to attend my son's wedding; there are places that he barely remembers. So on this last visit he wanted to take it all in as an adult.
Meeting them at the airport, after hugging one another, my nephew said: "thank you for meeting us". From the airport, we met my older daughter, her husband and daughter for lunch at a chinese restaurant along the way. My daughter took our pictures and emailed them right away to Vancouver. His family were excited and curious, they replied to ask what we were eating when they saw the pictures.
"What do you guys want to do?", I asked as we headed home after lunch.
"Oh, auntie Rita, all I want is to spend our time here with family", he replied.
Fortunately, my husband rounded up the cousins, their spouses and kids for dinner at home that night. Aside from a 5-day trip to El Nido, he wanted to devote his time to bond with family, catch up on his cousins' lives and share what's going on with his own; and he also wanted to introduce his girlfriend to the family.
I like that friends and family visit us here at home; whenever I learn that balikbayan friends are in town, I always invite them over for brunch. When relatives visit, I enjoy having them stay with us; I believe that laughter bring good vibes to a home. I also enjoy bringing them around, to the malls and to my favorite restaurants. When shopping I tend to look at things differently through their perspective.
When guests arrive, the first thing they ask is my password for Internet access; they immediately want to assure their love ones back home that they arrived safe and sound.
The next thing they need is a local sim. Fortunately for J, my older daughter is quick to help; she immediately secured a sim card and put it on my spare iPhone, fixed it ready for J to use. Usually, she identifies the number in our "contacts" with the guest's first name and attach it the word "Manila"; as in "J-Manila", then puts in all our numbers on that phone under "favorites".
Filipinos usually prefer to stay with relatives rather than in a hotel; that way, they get to have more bonding time. That first dinner we had was a lot of fun, there were plenty of hugging; everyone was talking, eating and laughing all at the same time and posing for pictures now and then.
The last time, my husband's siblings had a reunion, there were 7 relatives who stayed with us. In order for everyone to be comfortable, we arranged that a couple sleep in a relative's house next door, but they didn't want to separate, they didn't want to miss the fun, especially before bedtime. That's when the funniest family jokes are retold and the latest family news is told. They didn't mind sleeping on futons as long as they were together.
The older folks are eager to eat Filipino delicacies. Top requests in our family are steamed "talangka", (native crablets with lots of the orange fat inside) and a mix of local veggies cooked in fish sauce trimmed with broiled milkfish.
My husband's siblings love the "burong isda" (local fish fermented in salt with rice). After it is sautéed with lots of garlic and tomatoes, this is eaten with steamed okra, eggplant, string beams and banana hearts. The "daing na bangus" (milkfish dredged in vinegar, garlic, salt and lots of pepper) is a breakfast favorite.
The younger ones are adventurous enough to taste the local food but having been raised abroad, they usually prefer their kind of food. Of course, you'll never go wrong if you give them pasta, pizza and fried chicken. Even the older folks after sometime, already look for their usual diet, as well.
Shopping at the mall is usually the first in their agenda. The SM malls is often the most visited since true to their claim that "they've got it all for you", it is the place where balikbayans can get most of the items they need. I'm proud to say that regards apparels, there are international labels here which is not even available in Canada. When it comes to fashion, I'd say that we're not that laid back.
My husband's former colleague from Los Angeles is presently in town.
"I need a tailor to custom make some clothes; likewise I also need someone to take in my pants since I lost 20 pounds" he told my husband. My husband messaged him the tailor and the alteration shop; expectedly, both services are available in any SM mall.
I observed that balikbayans are not keen on local historical places and museums; they prefer to see the latest shops and restaurants. In the south of Manila, a great place to entertain the guests is at Alabang Town Center (ATC), Town to those who live in the south of the metro; there are restaurants offering a variety of international cuisine as well as the authentic local food; Right across Town is Molito complex where a row of nicely decorated restaurants are located, also offering authentic food from Japanese sushi, Italians-pasta ala vongole, French- croque mosuer, Koean noodles, etc.
Out of town road trip is usually Tagaytay; with its cool climate especially during the months of December to February, guests are more comfortable there. Along the way, there are lots of local fresh fruits and local sweets and delicacies to taste and bring back home. We started early going to Tagaytay;
Here we are having breakfast at Pancake House, this is pretty much like Denny's
Here are J and Li, enjoying the view of Taal Lake at sunrise
Taken after lunch at the Royale Tagaytay County Club.
Oh, did I tell you that our meals were long? There were just too many stories to tell and J always stirred our conversation about family, mostly how his family is getting along as well as other relatives in Vancouver. He would relate incidents that gave us a good grasp of what's happening over there. We found ourselves often laughing and J would say:
"That's funny!".
But there were serious conversations as well, my husband gave them tips to minimize issues between couples; how to live wisely on whatever resources one has and many other things. We enjoyed bonding with them and I'd like to believe that they also felt the same. When they bade us good bye, J said he plans to come back soon, most likely with the whole family.
The low point after guests depart is that our house seems so lonely and empty. But then again, after a day or two, we bounce back to our routine and when our children call, message or FaceTime with us, our lives are full again!
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