Celebrating A Milestone : A 70th Birthday

Today I am happy to accept an invitation to a diamond birthday celebration.  I find the choice of the theme and venue excellent; a place where one can sing and dance freely for the young and old. Songs from modern and down to the 60's and 70's comprise most of the band's repertoire. 

Some people like to travel with the family, some join a cruise but most of the time, people want  to celebrate this inportant day not only with the family but with friends and relatives as well. 

This brings to mind my older brother's 70th birthday celebration two years ago. His only daughter organized it at a hotel near their place. She called me for some suggestions on how the party should go,  especially the program.   Since I love doing that; I've organized countless events very much bigger than this in my former job; I was happy to give my suggestions:

"Give plenty of parts to the grandchildren,  preferably a dance  from them as an opening number, and you'll see how the guests will love that".

"I'm too busy, ninang"  (I'm her  godmother, so she calls me that) "I can't coach them well" she said, 

"Oh, it need not be perfect", I said, "actually, their mistakes will be cute.

"Of course, some close friends will speak about "the good ole' days", she said as she proceeded to mention whom she was counting on to do that. 

"I can speak for my siblings", I said since my two other brothers and our only sister are all in the US.  "Of course, ninang, let's not waste family talent, you have to speak". Ahem! Not flattering myself here, she actually said that and she will read this blog so I can't put words into her mouth.

"Wow! This is going to be quite a job, this is one time I wish I had a sister", she said. 

"Let your two brothers help, especially your youngest, I'm sure he will be happy to help out", I replied. 

"Let your Mom speak, she's hosting this party afterall", I reminded her. 

"But she will ask me to write what she will say, besides, if I will let her do it, we may end up getting a lecture", she replied. Her Mom is a College dean, I recalled. 

 After a week, she emailed me, "too busy Ninang, can you help me with my Mom's speech?". 

"She must speak from her heart, that is very personal, but then maybe, I can make an outline", I emailed back. 

My husband and I called my brother to greet him on his birthday. "Where's the party? , I asked

"No money" he replied. 

When we arrived at the party, we greeted him again and he was smiling,  "Dahl (his wife), gave it away", he said. "When you called this morning, she asked what happened about something and whether you told me, and I said no. Then she replied that maybe you'll tell me tonight". (Meaning we will be seeing them)

 "And then a neighbor passed by the house this afternoon and told me he can't come tonight, so I got two hints", he said, laughing that he learned about this surprise party earlier on. 

The program hosts: his grandson in wine red and his son in stripes. 

The grandchildren : the one in plain pink and white is my granddaughter.

My brother's five grandkids.

The party turned out a success, the "closest and the dearest" among her dad's friends were there,  especially his best friend along with his brothers from Letran way back in high school. The program was great, the grandchildren were delightful, the buffet was wonderful. There was music, dancing and speeches and lots of laughter. 

Here, let me share excepts from my speech......

"Life begins at forty is no longer true, 60 is the new 40; in my mother's time, when one retires at sixty, he just sits on their rocking chair all day, watches the world go by and waits for his final day to come. Today, American surveys show that the life span of an individual is now extended to about 20 to 30 years."

"I have very little memories of my brother, I was very young when he was sent to the city for high school at Letran College, so I only saw him during vacations."

"He taught me how to dance, when he came home for vacation, he always taught me new tricks, the craze then was boogie woogie"

"He escorted me to my first college acquaintance party; and before I knew it he was dancing the night away with one pretty girl after another. "

"At 60 or thereabouts, life's choices should matter most. If you want to read on your iPad until 4am, whose business is it?  If you want to sing and dance to the tunes of the 60's or 70's, who should care?"

"What is important is to live in the here and now, not way back when or one day soon." 

Here, I quoted the former US Secretary of State, Hilary Clinton, who said: "Know what you want in life, you just have one life to live. It is yours, so own it, claim it, live it and do the best you can with it".

"Finally, dear Brother, live each day to the fullest, so that when your final hour will come, you can say without regret: "I came, I went and I did it all"."

Of course, there was so much more to the speech about being lucky for having a brother like him, and so on. .......

After my speech, my granddaughter who was hanging out with her cousins across the hall approached me with watery eyes and said:  "Nana, your speech is so crying-ful", she meant that it made her cry. She was seven then. 

Now, I'm wondering wether my speech was so sentimental to bring some tears to a seven-year-old.

To Create Or To Consume?

Much has been said or written about today's lifestyle alongside modern technology;  on this blog however, let me just talk about the information overload that most of us get from social media. I wouldn't claim that it is bothering me at all, in fact I'm even enjoying it and I am really indulging to a certain extent.  

We open Facebook and we get so much information from friends; and the more friends we have, the more information we get. They come in every form; as a message, a recipe, a picture, a video, a quote, a link to something or just anything. 

We turn on the tv and we get lots and lots of news, commentaries, talk shows, cooking, travel, decorating, movies, the information is endless.  

We meet up with friends after work, our supposed downtime, to relax and enjoy catching up with them and then our blackberry rings, boss is telling us something urgent that came up that needed immediate action. 

Then our iPhone rings and there is more coming from either a friend or a family member.  If we missed a call, good manners demand a call back ASAP.

I read that if we are saturated with so much information then we need to release them, otherwise, this influx of information will predominate our thoughts thus preventing us to think about worthwhile ideas that will enhance our lives. Spending so much time absorbing these information and commenting or responding to them deprives us of time that may otherwise be spend on matters more important to us. 

What to do then? 

"Creating art offers an outlet and a release to all that.  Take a minute to ignore all the incoming signals and create an outgoing one instead.  Produce something, express yourself in some way.  As long as you contribute rather that consume then anything that you do can be a work of art. " ---James Clear.

I for one takes in a lot of information as well; while I take my morning coffee, I download Facebook posts and make comments. Oftentimes, a video or a link is shared,  a friend posts: "I love this" and it beacons to me : "look at this, it's interesting", it says, then I am curious and I open the video or the link. 

While eating my oatmeal for breakfast, I continue reading the novel I started. My husband turns on the tv and I watch whatever is showing. Then in the middle of it all, "I got mail". As I read it, a Facebook message pops up and my sister wants to FaceTime, she wants to share things about our family.  

 

Following James Clear's advise, I felt I need to do something, I need to create, but how?  I can't sing, I love to dance but It wouldn't be fun doing it alone; I can't draw nor paint.

But I can write, I like to make speeches, I like to add phrases to birthday greetings rather than just  the plain "happy birthday". I also want to write down my thoughts  and what happens in my  everyday life, I want to share what I bake or cook; hence this blog. At least I don't only consume, I create, I contribute and I share. 

How about you, don't you end up feeling empty or even frustrated after a whole morning of reading posts on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and responding to some?  Isn't it depriving you of your precious time to do even the basic things you need to do?

A Day With My Daughter

My Singapore series wouldn't be complete without this last one. It has been in draft form for two weeks now.  I thought I'd incorporate it with another topic but it didn't work. So here it is.....

One thing that made me very happy during my visit to Singapore was seeing my newly married daughter and her husband happily settled at their condo.

My son had an office-related appointment after work that night so  my daughter and her husband hosted our dinner.  After shopping that Thursday, my husband and I went back to my son's condo where we stayed during the visit; to rest before dinner.  Then I learned that my younger daughter took the afternoon off from work to shop for our dinner that night. Earlier in the week she already asked if we'd rather eat out or have dinner at their condo. "It doesn't matter", I said, "but if it is not a bother; it would be nice to bring laughter into your home.  I've always believed that laughter with family and friends will bring good vibes as well; so I would rather we had dinner there".

At half passed 3 pm, she messaged me that she was already home and asked; "so, would you like to have coffee first?".  My husband wasn't feeling well, I knew he would rather take a nap, in fact he was almost asleep. She messaged again: "there is so little time left", as they were leaving for London that early Saturday because she needed to be in Leeds that week for work.  I know she also wants to spend more time with us. So I messaged her back,  "I would be happy to have coffee with you, let's just come back for dad later". 

"Ok, please meet me at the back gate, I'm almost there." , she messaged again. I hurriedly dressed and was about to leave a note for my husband, but he turned so I knew he was awake and I told him, "we'll be back for you."

I grabbed the plastic pass card I borrowed from the maid to unlock the back gate together with my purse and took the elevator nine floors down. 

Minutes later, I found myself with my daughter at a cozy outside cafe near the botanical garden. We had coffee and salmon pizza with something sweet, an enormously large lemon meringue.  

I always love having coffee or lunch with this daughter. Being out in a cafe or restaurant;  oblivious to the crowd around us, I learned, was the best way to catch up with her.  I told her what's been happening back home;  things that sometimes couldn't be shared even on FaceTime. She also told me what's going on in her life, how she is coping as a newly married wife.  It warmed my heart to know that she is happy, cooks a lot;  enthusiastic to fix her home and excited to acquire conversation pieces for their home that are both decorative and functional.  She told me  about her plans;  the lastest about her work as well as the passions  she intends to pursue in the future. 

It was passed seven o'clock when we left the cafe, but it was still light so we walked through the small shops in the building before we headed to her condo.  She just requested her husband to get dad on his way home. 

Both my daughters are good cooks, I'd like to believe that I taught them well; but I observed that this one is very discriminate; I'd say that there's also a lot of self discipline going on there. For instance,  she tries to buy only veggies and fruits in season so they are relatively cheaper. Sometimes she would substitute ingredients, spices and herbs, already available at home rather than buy what is called for in the recipe. She does this very well; she has a good "gut taste" on what works.  I'd say that is versatile. 

Their condo is a cozy one-bedroom affair, the place is airy and bright;  it has plenty of windows with beautiful views, it being on the 9th floor.  It also smells "new". They furnished the "back bone" well with furniture they could use even when they can acquire a condo of their own. 

As she started preparing our dinner; I watched how she did it with ease; this daughter who just watched me prepared dinner at home is now so domesticated.  Oh, she used to bake a pastry or two then, when she felt like eating some but definitely not the dishes for dinner. 

My son-in-law offered us drinks, I had the strawberry-flavored iced tea which I enjoyed while my husband had ginger ale.  We had the drinks in the balcony . As i looked out into the night, I saw that there weren't many high rise in the close vicinity, thus extending the view far beyond. It was spectacular. 

As they continue furnishing their home, my daughter told me that they take their time purchasing only what is needed, they don't want to be stucked with something which will just be occupying space. In other words, they buy as they go. Like the canister for nuts that caught her fancy, she has been eyeing one but when she discussed it with her husband, they agreed that they will get it when they have some use for it. So, when I brought them peanuts cooked in salt and garlic from home, that was when they decided to get it. 

She easily put everything on the table; while we talked with her husband, watched the view and enjoyed our drinks.  Before I knew it, we were having soup. My husband liked the soup very much, while I liked the fried rice along with the breaded pork chop and seafood omelette, they call "crispy prawn pancake".  We had a sumptuous meal that we enjoyed immensely.

Once again, we had a wonderful time, we went back to my son's condo very happy. 

Grand Parenting Is More Fun!

I immediately got inspired writing this after my younger daughter e-mailed this link to me

 http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/best-years-life-just-arent/

If you did not open the link, it is about a lady who went through difficult times raising her first baby at the age of 21. Amidst her struggle completing college and working at the same time; away from family and with almost no sleep; people told her, strangers even, that she "should cherish the moment because it is the best years of your life." 

This link couldn't have come to me at a better time, most especially that I can add another perspective to the subject, now that I am a grandmother. 

It seems odd though that those days, tagged as "the best years" are not better appreciated during the time mothers go through them.  We can only look back with regret; like the lady in the story, who only realized it years later. Of course some of us mothers even feel short-changed that we could have savored those moments more; unfortunately, the demands of our time and attention during those times didn't allow us to do so. 

I have no regrets nor any guilt feelings about how I took care of  my babies during their infancy because I was a hands-on Mom. Though, I  had a nursemaid, I still took care of my babies at night even after I went back to work.  I wouldn't say though that it was easy to be sleepy at work  but I needed the time to bond with them, so I gave up part of my sleeping time to do just that.  My weekends were fully devoted to them, and there was never a night that I wasn't home. 

Though my situation looked so convenient, it doesn't mean that it was easy, I also wasn't spared of some misgivings.  It seem so flimsy now when I think about how difficult for me then to keep explaining to my boss that I couldn't join an out-of-town seminar or out-of-the-country school-related activity.  Well, it could have been fun, too, mingling with associates on such occasions but then again, I made my choices. Somehow, it never affected my career opportunities.

 Many things were going on at the time our babies are born.  At this stage, many couples like we were then; are still trying "to find their place in the sun", so to speak.  Some still haven't made up their minds what career path to follow, for them this is when they are still looking for better career opportunities as they struggle to provide for the family; pay rent, saving to buy a house, paying for car amortization. How then is it possible to enjoy motherhood? We were too distracted that the priority was just to attend to the babies' physical needs. There was enjoyment but it could have been more. 

Being a grandparent is definitely more fun. You don't carry the same responsibility as moms do. You just enjoy them.

One thing I learned about grand parenting is being more aware of the needs and feelings of the child and are able to address them. I believe that my husband and I are able to help our daughter address her own daughter's needs since we are not as preoccupied as we were as parents, now we are more focused.  

We look forward to our granddaughter's visits,  We see that we have food she likes, clear our schedule so we can devote our time with her. Her presence never fail to brighten our days. 

 When she is with us  we are always amazed at what she says. Sometimes she talks like an adult; her conversation is very sensible. We also laugh a lot.  We forget our aches and pains. 

When our daughter calls everyday, it brings us so much joy to hear things about our granddaughter.

Sometimes she seems so mature; one day, while she was on the road with my husband who picked her up; my husband got exasperated with a rude driver. Alert about the situation, she said: "it is good to be patient sometimes, papa".

Indeed, grandchildren, just like any other child are gifts to love and to cherish. We are still praying and hoping for more grandchildren. 

Today happens to be the birthday of our only grandchild. She turned nine.

To you, our granddaughter,  Happy Birthday! 

While my granddaughter plays, I often read in the same room. Now and then, she would come to me for a hug. 

Note: all pictures and quotes were lifted from Pinterest. 

Why Can't Life Be More Simple?

Why is our modern world seem more complicated. When I was young, life was so simple, snacks was boiled peanuts and plantain.  There were no different flavored chips. Of course we have chiffon and angel food cake because my mama bakes. Still, it was simple and we were happy. 

The advent of the computer and the internet is making our lives too fast-paced; I guess it had enhanced the facility for research as well because there are so many new things coming up.  But don't get me wrong, I'm not really complaining, I'm just amazed how these things are coming about so fast. 

 Unlike in the mid-70's for instance, when my sister used to live near Clark Air Base and was privileged to buy from BX; she used to get my shampoo and conditioner. I only had to specify the brand and she would know.  

I wonder when these shampoos for different purposes came about; anti-hair fall, age defy, smooth and manageable, anti-dandruff, damage repair, anti-frizz, dry rescue and so on. Maybe for users, this is good but for a retailer like me, I have to invest more to be able to stock on all of them. 

What about soap, there's papaya, guava, menthol, eucalyptus, lemon, cologne splash, sulphur, antibacterial, etc.  For lotions, there's moisturizing, whitening, SPF 10, SPF 20 and so on.  With talcum powder I can count about five scents in just one brand, and believe me my fingers wouldn't be enough to count how many brands there are and I'm just talking of the ordinary, affordable brands, high end ones not included. I can say the same with ordinary colognes, different scents, different packing from 25 ml, 50, 75, to 125 ml. Even babies have choices now on oil and lotion because there is calming, bedtime, with milk, harmony and others.  Actually this list is endless, really!  

Now let's talk coffee.  When I was a child, there was only one plain coffee I knew in the form of beans or powdered instant coffee. Then came decaf, but still just plain coffee where you add milk and sugar.   Nowadays however,  would you believe that instant 3 in 1 coffee comes in different flavors too?  There's original, white,  brown and creamy, choco latte , creamy latte, cappuccino, etc. 

For instant powdered juices and flavored tea, there are as many flavors as there are so many fruits available. 

Now I recall  a typical conversation that happens when we dine in restaurants. Let's start with a basic salad and the waiter will ask:  "what dressing please? Blues cheese? honey mustard? ranch? Thousand island?, vinegrette?",  and we give our preference. "this goes with bread", the waiter asks again: "white bread, whole wheat? Sour dough?", and we say, "wheat".  " toasted or not?" , he continues. 

Then the steak, " porter house? T- bone?  New York cut? Ala-pobre? Filet mignon? And we choose again.  " how do you want it? Rare, medium? medium-well? Well done?".

Finally we order drinks, and if we say "just water", he will ask again: " Perrier? San Pellegrino, or just tap? Sparkling and unflavored?  Or lemon, lime, grapefruit?"   Should you like soda, then he will ask again: "coke, Pepsi, royal or 7up or sprite?"   If you like coke the he continues, "regular, zero, light"?

Is it really this hard to order food nowadays. Oh yes, I've not even mentioned potatoes: fries, wedges, baked or mashed?  This becomes more complicated if you order in another country where you're not used to their accent.  And for senior citizens who are a little bit hard of hearing, I'm sure they have a difficult time; and for them, it's even taxing to read the menu. 

No wonder, I always hear or read "back to basics".  Everything in their original form, untouched and unadulterated. Isn't that really more simple?

Yet, I know that we can't go back, we just have to move forward. 

--

Home Sweet Home

"........be it ever so hu -um- ble..... There's no place like home. ". I can still sing this phrase like how I  was taught in gradeschool. 

How much time do we spend thinking of our home? Do you often think about improving, renovating or redecorating yours? 

Today more and more people are conscious of their living environment. Many of us fix our homes using whatever we have; the vintage wooden chest from grandma; the chest of drawers we first bought when we started furnishing our home; the dinning set that our parents gave as a wedding present, the picture frame we got from a garage sale. Putting personal items like those including photos, favorite pieces of art, artifacts from our travels and meaningful objects will give life and warmth to the place. 

Some people use the help of a professional decorator; but even if they do, most of the time they want to be more involved in the designing process and in putting the items they love to give it a personal touch. 

What about you, do you spruce up your home regularly? Do you find joy in doing that?  Or is it a boring chore for you?

 As for me, I spend a lot of time thinking about our home, how I can make it more livable and more comfortable; what to add, what to renovate or how to revitalize it by painting; adding a vase or two; or just putting a scented candle.  I love fixing our home; whenever I get hold of a magazine, I look closely at the designs while I figure out whether I can use one to enhance my set up. 

What's the best time to repair, refurbish and  redecorate our homes?  I guess anytime, as long as we have the budget but the timing must be in keeping with the season iideal for repairs on the exterior part of the house. 

In America and Europe as well as other countries that enjoy the four changing seasons, spring cleaning is very popular, if not a must. While they store away winter clothes and other paraphernalia, they use this time to de clutter, redecorate and repair their homes. 

 Asian countries experiencing only two seasons; the dry, that's summer; and the wet, that's the rainy season; there is no such thing as spring cleaning. However in April, the advent of summer, when school ends and we sort the children's school things to dispose; repairs and construction usually take place.  Then also come  November, after the rains and typhoons, more home improvements are done as people start decorating their homes for Christmas.

I'm getting inspired to spruce up our home again, well, for us, it is really a never-ending occupation.  My husband would take care of the basic structures, working closely with his reliable carpenter at least twice a year; more often when necessary.  If I like to do something that needs carpentry work, I discuss it with him and he  will work it out with the carpenter.  He leaves the decorating and the arranging of the furniture to me; but he has artistic talent, so he would give suggestions often.

When an idea hits me, even if it only involves rearranging some objects on tabletops, I am excited to do it straight away. Whenever I want to improve a nook or a corner but couldn't seem to figure out what to do, I think about it a lot. Then I see something in a magazine and I am inspired to "get the look" using what I have.  

I love Country Living magazines,  I've always liked country decoration;  the idea of being "natural", incorporating twigs, dried leaves, rare stones, artistic shells and folksy items or objects with history greatly appeal to me especially when put together along living plants. 

I'd like to believe that our home is a life story in itself, my wall gallery for instance, tells the story of milestones in the family; graduations, anniversaries and weddings.  Now and then, I put in little item to enhance what we already have.  In terms of basic furniture though, my husband and I agree that we already have "the backbone" as experts say. I doubt changing our leather upholstered sofas and chairs in the living room, nor the narra glass-topped dining table and matching chairs we bought in the early 70's; the wooden credenza; the coffee tables and end tables that my husband designed himself using antique narra slabs; and who painstakingly supervised the carpenter to make them. 

So what more is left to do or acquire?  Well, right now we strive to make our home neat and tidy inside and out.  My aim is to improve/enhance the look of every nook and corner.  Every grouping must make a statement that would draw the observer to keep on looking; it must be interesting like in a garden where every arrangement of plants should look like a bouquet.  Experts advise that to change or freshen the look, replace curtains and get new throw pillows.  So I often rotate the curtains and the throw pillows, the duvets and pillow cases or buy new ones when we feel like. 

My husband sees that all systems work; proper drainage, no leaks from the ceiling, rooftops are free from leaves and other debris;  no broken windows and no pealing paint. He maintains the garden as well, acquiring some plants when needed and gets outside help in pruning.  His plants must thrive well; so they are fertilized and watered regularly; and the maid is even advised to wipe each leaf when dusty so the plants can breathe.

How about you, do you think about your home often? 

Last Two Days In Singapore

What my son tagged as a "stupid Sunday" yesterday; because he was almost bumped head on by a car coming towards him on a one-way thoroughfare; turned out to be a wonderful day of bonding. 

We had mass at St Bernadette at 11, where they usually go on Sundays.  In the car on the way to church, my son was telling us that the congregation of locals here are Catholics by choice, and therefore they are really devoted. They are active in church-related activities and they really look after the church itself; its cleanliness, the floral offerings and seminars. The mass was very solemn, the sermon short and in keeping with the Sunday's  gospel: "the temptation".  The communion was very orderly and the hymns well sang by the choir and the congregation. 

We had lunch at  Sentosa Cove, an upscale oasis of the rich. It has a long restaurant row along the water front; including Hotel W.  We made reservations at "Pomodoro" anticipating a croud since we got there at lunchtime, the peak hour; and to ensure that we will have a place to eat.   We ended up at "Sabio's", a Spanish restaurant, and had tapas instead of pizza and pasta at Pomodoro .

The  "cove" accommodated numerous yachts in the water surrounding the restaurants, giving a glamorous view of the place. I noticed a lot of babies and small kids being tended by their parents, it was Sunday after all, a family day.  While their parents; mostly white and probably expats from America, Australia, UK  ate and chatted with friends; their kids played around, oblivious of the crowds passing by.  It was somewhat difficult to imagine that these parents in their very casual clothes would be working in their coat-and-tie in the confines of their high rise plush offices the next day. Well, that's what they call "expat living". 

The previous day, a  Saturday, my son and his wife were also free, so they brought us to Shangrila for high tea.  As we entered the lobby, my daughter-in-law said that you can always tell if you are in a Shangrila Hotel because of the lay-out and the ambiance.  My son invited the sister of our son-in-law and her husband who both worked in London for almost three years earlier and opted to come to work in Singapore to be closer to home. 

Here's what we had, a couple of this 3-tier tray of goodies with our tea.  High tea in Shangrila Manila includes Filipino delicacies which they didn't have here. 

Dinner last Saturday was at another glamourous waterfront, at the Fullerton Bay Hotel.  We were seated under one of these arches on the boardwalk.  While we were  waiting for our dinner to be served,  we watched the fireworks from the Skypark that takes place every night at 8 and if I heard it right, the subsequent one was to follow in another hour. 

The view was breath-taking that I didn't want to pass up on it without posing for a picture at the boardwalk. 

This is a view on the boardwalk going to the Fullerton Bay Hotel.

After lunch yesterday in the car going home, my son was asking us where else we wanted to go; what we wanted to eat and what more we need to see or buy.  We said we were fine and he said, there's one more meal, where would you like to go for dinner?  We said wherever they can relax to prepare them for their next day's work. They had entertained us enough and if it was not a hassle to eat at home, that was fine with us. And we ended up at their condo, just relaxing, listening to his choice of music in companionable silence. 

When I went to sleep last night, I did not count sheep, I counted my blessings.