HOW TO LET GO OF ITEMS WITH SENTIMENTAL VALUE

Are you having a difficult time letting go of items with sentimental value?   Mia at miadanielle.com says that " letting go is an emotional process and decluttering is all about learning to let go".  

 I've come across several tips, the most common of which is: "if we have something we're reluctant to let go that is tacked away somewhere, either we use it or showcase it, otherwise sell or give away to someone who will love it". 

This is so true, especially if it has been in storage for quite sometime.  In this age of minimalism, declutter is the mantra. They say that keeping something we don't use or display is clutter that occupies a space that could be of better use for something more important in our present lives. 

Don't they often say: "live for today"?

Why keep something of the past?, they ask.  But I'm sure there is that something that has meaning to us, something we acquired way back when that we can't seem to part with. 

When we moved from our home of 38 years, I thought that it was a good time to declutter so I took time sorting things to keep, store or give away.  By then, my emotions were already raw, I was crying because I felt like I was compartmentalizing our lives in boxes. 

As I went through two shoe boxes of greeting cards that I kept pre-digital times, I didn't have the heart to part with them; they are filled with loving thoughts; throwing them away felt like giving up part of my family who gave them.   My younger daughter came to the rescue: "They are just two shoe boxes Mom, I'd say you keep them all, how much space will they occupy?". 

Today, the shoe boxes are still in a drawer somewhere, I know a time will come when I will take pictures of the best ones from each of my family members and close relatives so I can finally discard them. 

But really, sometimes it is not healthy to be so attached to material things unless they are so special like the punch bowl set that has held several thousand island desserts.  My husband bought that for me in the 70's when US goods could only be bought at the stalls  outside of Clark Air Base at a relatively good price.  Then there is that antique mini  intricate crystal  punch bowl set from my mother-in-law that I treasure so much.  Both are displayed in our dining  room where I put fruits. 

Many of us may think that our children would like to have our sentimental items in their homes.  Believe me, they have other ideas, you'd be surprised to know that every piece of decor, every dish or vase that they incorporate in their homes is given a lot of thought. 

When we moved, I discarded two-thirds of my kitchen effects, half of my clothes, almost all knick knacks and donated  5 balikbayan boxes of books to our parish to give away to distant parish schools. 

My son only asked for his Tonka toys, my older daughter took the piano,  a crystal dish and a Pyrex loaf pan while my younger daughter took an antique cake server and a crystal vase. 

What to do then?? 

First, let's try to incorporate them in our home decor, in a way that is appropriate.  Experts caution that it should blend well with our set up; we should not try to accommodate them just for the sake of keeping them especially if they are big items lest our home may look like a museum.  

If it's a set of coffee mugs, by all means, let's use them, if they break, then that's it.  If it is a set of delicate China let us enjoy them everyday;  that would be making the most out of them.  

For seniors like me, we can still ask our children if they need or want to keep our treasure/treasures.  Let us be considerate though by letting go of most of our things, not only those with sentimental value but every little thing that we no longer use.  

While there's still time; let us not leave this burden for our children to do when we are already gone.  The best way is to find a home for them like a relative or a friend who would love them as much as we do. 

If not, sell.  Take a picture and advertise online.  Someone out there maybe looking for something like it. Then we can use the money to buy a more useful item to keep the memory of our treasure alive. 

ORDERING FOOD ONLINE HAS BECOME A LIFESTYLE DURING THIS PANDEMIC

Even in a  third world country like the Philippines, we are also digital in ordering food and pretty much everything during this pandemic.  For quite sometime now this has been a practice in more cosmopolitan cities worldwide; in Manila some people do so occasionally.  During this pandemic however when people's movement is limited, ordering food online has become a way of life for most Filipinos. 

It is said that this  practice is mostly favored by millennials.  Since they are tech savvy and their laptops practically booted all the time it is convenient to order food online while they work from home.  

It may sound convenient for most, but I have some reservations.  For health reasons alone,  the ingredients of take out food is beyond our control.  There is the waiting time of 30 minutes to an hour for the delivery to arrive.  Moreover, the added cost of cooking services as well as the delivery fee renders the food more expensive.  

My husband and I prefer cooking our food;  budget-wise it is also more practical.  More than that, we felt that it is safer  during this pandemic.  Not that vendors do not practice cleanliness and sanitation, but at this time we want to be extra careful. 

I don't want to sound like a snob but at this point in our lives, my husband and I, along with most seniors have developed more sophisticated palettes.  We have taste expectations even on the simplest of food; but when we feel like eating pizza, chicken and mojos or burger and fries we don't hesitate ordering from reputable establishments that we are accustomed to.  

In our locality, there are two popular venues where the homeowners can advertise their food products on Facebook: the BF Home Sarap and the  BF Bayanihan Marketplace.  This is convenient since most of the vendors live in the village. Last week a buyer echoed my sentiments on taste expectations in a Facebook post: 

"On ordering food online during this pandemic, one has to draw not only one's gift to differentiate food from what is good, better or best.  At times, one has to go back in time and recall how food taste when health was a premium on how they are prepared." 

Turns out that his Mom was a great cook that he developed preconceived ideas how specific food taste.  After tasting the leche flan he ordered online; he wrote further: 

"Over the years, I've been looking for the flan that I used to know but with much frustration until I tasted the flan I ordered from Flight Flan" (the vendor is a flight attendant, hence the name).  " I found that it is a resurrected version of my mother's flan." 

But I am not as lucky as the flan buyer.  One day I wanted ginatang bilo bilo,  (a local dessert of plantain, yam, tapioca and ground rice balls cooked in coconut milk).  I liked what I saw it online; thick sauce and full of the desired ingredients.  Sadly, it turned out very watery and all I got was mostly soup.  I was so discouraged.  

Due to some complains, the group moderator imposed vendors to show original pictures of their products and not borrow from Google.   When I read this, I made a comment about my ginatang experience without mentioning the vendor.   My vendor saw my comment and apologized.  Of course, I let it go and said there's no problem and the vendor felt better and thank me. 

Since I cook our food, I usually get raw ingredients at a big wet market in the village; but like any market with big crowds,  going there at this time is a health risk so I get everything from a nearby grocery.  I like choosing the ingredients myself so I can see the quality and quantity of my requirements and find substitutes when necessary. 

When I go shopping I am properly protected with my face mask, googles and cap on; my list and credit card at the ready.   I spray alcohol on the cart handles upon entering. I don't bring out my phone so I had  everything written, that way I can go in and out in a jiffy.   

I believe that it is a matter of choice and circumstance whether to order food online or not.  If we are fastidious , we must go out of our way to prepare our own food; if we don't  want the hassle, then food delivery is the answer.  No matter what our preference is, ordering food online is here to stay as part of the new normal.  

THE COVID SEASON HAS CREATED TIME FOR PRAYING

Nowadays, more and more people are praying.  On social media alone, people are posting prayers, morning prayers and evening prayers to end this pandemic.  Many have called on all their favorite saints to intercede for healing.  I myself received several prayers with a request to share to as many people as I can.

When we moved to this village, I continued my walking exercise. I bask in the serenity of solitude, praying the rosary while I thread my goal of 10,000 steps. 

Ive never been conscious holding my rosary bracelet for the world to see. People jogging and walking would even ask  how many mysteries I've completed or whether I'm done. 

Last week I noticed that many are praying the rosary while walking.  Most of them now sport a rosary bracelet instead of the long one.  There's this group of four guys who are always conversing loudly as they thread the streets.   Last week, I saw them walking further apart from each other, silently praying as they held their rosaries.  

Just recently, I came across the prayer of Reverent Joe Wright at the opening session of the US Kansas House of Representatives in 1996.   After reading, it got me thinking that in our situation, no amount of prayer can deliver us from this COVID 19 pandemic unless we purge our culpabilities and ask for forgiveness before we can request for healing. 

In this prayer, he called out society's misconduct one after another creating overwhelming reactions; a number of legislators walked out   (one reporter said some, another said only one).  Nevertheless,  history would tell that this prayer has been the talk of the town,  it was broadcast all over on tv and radio.    The Central Christian Church where Reverent Joe Wright is a pastor got numerous calls; out of 5000  only 47 gave negative reactions.   The church was deluged with mail that they didn't know how to deal with them; moreover they also got several international requests for a copy of the prayer. 

To summarize the prayer: 

Wright opened by asking God for forgiveness and sought direction and guidance. Then he continues: 

"Woe to those who call evil good

We confess; We have :

ridiculed  the absolute truth of Your word and called it pluralism 

Worshiped other gods  and called it multiculturalism

Endorsed perversion and called it an alternative lifestyle

Exploited the poor and called it lottery

Rewarded laziness and called it welfare

Killed the unborn and called it a choice

Shot abortionists and called it justifiable

Failed to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem 

Abused power and called it politics

Coveted our neighbor's  possessions and called it ambition

Polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression

Ridiculed the time honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment." 

He then concluded by asking  God for cleansing. 

Folks, what do you think? Did The Reverent Joe Wright make sense?  Did the prayer give us an idea how to deal with our difficult situation? But no matter what we think,  I'd say, let us continue praying; because  in prayer we can ask for forgiveness and guidance to right our ways and hope that The Almighty will hear us. 

As Alfred Lord Tennyson said: "More things are wrought by prayers than this world dreams of".

And from my friend Nina: 

"More cleansing and healing prayers for the safety of the whole world"

LOOKING AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC

Did it ever occur to you that there is a bright side to this very scary pandemic?  I'm sure, this has tickled your mind fleetingly once or twice or numerous times. 

This pandemic has brought out the best and the worse in all of us.  But  I believe that the plusses outnumber the negatives;  I for one has been counting and recording the good things that we, the people did and are still doing during these uncertain times. 

First and foremost is that we learned self preservation.  When people didn't have work, they found alternatives to earn a living or to augment their income.   We see a lot of product offerings on social media promoting self-made crafts, home-grown fruits and vegetables, herbs and ornamental plants.. 

Many started offering home-cooked meals and snacks, some found their old tried and tested heirloom family recipes useful which gave them an edge because they are already known in the market. 

Many found a way to help others.; if they have the means, they donated money, if not they helped raise funds using their talents or influence.  

We learned that staying home is not a confinement nor a sacrifice.  We know that by doing so, we are already saving lives.  We realized that being at home with the family is a blessing in disguise because it is  something that we have always wanted in the first place; but for one reason or another, we were too busy or too preoccupied with other activities. 

Staying home made decluttering possible, fixing the house, cleaning  drawers and other things that we can only do during vacation. We found time to decorate and improve our surroundings. 

We had the time to bake.  We even enjoyed doing that with the children.  Did you know that many a time, the supermarkets ran out of flour and baking soda?   I wonder how many hundreds or thousands of cookies were baked during this lockdown.  

By the way, have you tasted the pandemic pandesal?  In the Philippines it has become a craze, almost everyone is baking it or selling it that's why I jokingly call it the pandemic pandesal, it is very much promoted on social media. It is color violet, the pandemic color, yay!   Actually it is the color of the ube (yam) with real ube and cheese filling.  The taste mimics the salted caramel combination of the sweet and salty.  It is so soft and spongy, great with coffee, better than doughnuts for a change. 

We simplified our meals. There is never a time than now that we cooked as many pasta meals;  egg noodles, glass noodles and rice noodles because when we shopped for the lockdown, we thought that those are the easiest meals to prepare. 

We enjoyed gardening for reasons more than pleasure. Many of us planted veggies to augment our budget or just for the eventuality that when there is no food to be bought, at least we have a fallback.  Now our garden looks very much tended. 

At last we were able to read the books we never got to do earlier.  There was also time to play games and  watch Netflix with the family.  Most of all we had the time to unwind.  The two-week vacation a year given to employees is not enough, it would take at least a month or two to totally unwind, depending on how wound up we are. 

After four months of restricted movement, we are now concerned with helping boost the economy.  Didn't we see a lot of posts on social media saying to buy local?  "Help the farmers, buy their produce"; "buy taho (bean curd jelly) from the roving vendor",  "be generous in giving tips to those who serve;  the waiters, barbers, delivery man, the security guards and everyone who is trying his best to earn a living", they say. 

I can go on and on about the good that this pandemic brought us but most importantly,  I observed that many of us found our way back to The Almighty, seeking and pleading for help to end this pandemic. 

I myself is optimistic that something good will come out of this soon.  With our limited minds, we cannot understand, we do not know what to do but I believe that God willed this for a reason, for a better plan beyond our comprehension, beyond what we can ever dream of.  

Let us all remember that we cannot see the entire parade, we only see a part of the parade, the parade that is God's plan for us. 

So folks, don't despair.  Hopefully, the post of my good friend Nina that I'd like to echo here will put us in a better perspective. 

"Life is made up of special moments that make life worth living.  There are many cherished moments that are missed due to stress and the fast pace of daily life.  We MUST slow down and remember how precious it is to be alive" .

HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR TIME?

Reggie, a former colleague post a picture of his wall clock on Facebook and asked:  "how do you spend your time?".

Off hand I commented:

"Hopefully I'm using my time in productive ways.  Is doing Facebook productive?  For me it is because I'm socializing with friends, socialization being a spiritual need of man as claimed by Maria Montessori. 

Reggie replied: "It is productive Ninang! Use of technology maybe virtual but we reach out and connect with friends and relatives" 

I wonder what many of us do during our "me time".  Do you practice hygge?  For those who have not encountered hygge, I read that it is a Danish word pronounced as "hue-gah" or "hoo-guh" and shortlisted as the word of the year by the Oxford English Dictionary in 2016.  They say that there is no direct English translation and is described as "the atmosphere where we are most comfortable". "An outlook that focuses on simple pleasures" , according to Montanahappy.com 

It is during our relax time that we savor simple things like drinking coffee in the garden, watching the sunset over a glass of red,  connecting with friends via social media, dozing in the bathtub, reading a book or just lounging on a favorite chair taking a siesta.  All those are considered hygge, because they give us satisfaction that enhance our well being. 

How do I spend my time? Here's how.

To maximize our time we need to prioritize and get the more important things out of the way first.  That's the reason I do my walking first thing in the morning.  But before I do that, I still hygge, as I enjoy my morning coffee; taking slow sips because to me, every hot sip infuses warmth. 

My morning exercise is not just walking, there are many things that make my walk interesting and enjoyable.  The early morning tranquility is soothing;  the miracle of sunrise as the sun climbs up to the sky and Illuminates the earth is always a sight to behold.   

Breathing in fresh air and feeling the cool morning breeze is refreshing and invigorating.  I marvel at birds that fly in front, behind and around me, hearing them chirp as they flock together on tree tops and on electric wires is simple joy. 

I find pleasure taking pictures along the way; the sunrise and the cloud formation that is different everyday are great subjects.  Colorful and vibrant flowers, birds and unique plants and trees  always fascinate me.  Most of the time those pictures come out on my Facebook posts.   

Walking is also my time for meditation and prayer. It is a great opportunity to thank The Lord for His blessings, healing, guidance, enlightenment and protection.  This is when I ask Him to stay with me, with my family, in our home, in our minds and hearts.  Walking 10,000 steps (takes me an hour and a half, I walk slow), gives me the time to complete the 4 mysteries of the Holy Rosary along with my requests for special intentions. 

I made a lot of friends by walking the streets of our enclave everyday.  I exchange greetings with young joggers and with older people who just walk like me.  House-helps working on the front lawn, drivers cleaning cars and street cleaners greet me because I greet them back with a smile.   Homeowners tending to their gardens are friendly since they see me everyday; a couple often invite me to join them for coffee occasionally.  I refuse of course, but I graciously thank them and often chat for awhile. 

When I became interested in bougainvilla, I was always on the lookout for the colorful varieties around the enclave.  Some homeowners were generous to give me cuttings to propagate. When I had enough, I started collecting crepe myrtle as well until I got all the colors from people I befriended  along the way. 

Breakfast with my husband is another highlight of my day.  In between spoons-full of oatmeal, bread and cheese; some days forks-full  of bacon and pancakes, we compare notes on news we read; we talk about the latest on our children and grandchildren.  We update each other about our friends and remind each other to greet birthday and anniversary celebrants.

After breakfast I garden, this is another activity that I enjoy especially when I see my plants are growing well.  Lunch preparation follows.  After lunch is  "me time"  again.  Siesta invigorates me and gives me energy to take on the rest of the afternoon and evening activities. 

That about sums up my day and it works for me.  I live, I love! 

I just don't know whether this is ideal for those who go to work or moms with babies but it is good for retirees for sure.  Whether we are working to earn a living, just doing housework or pursuing other endeavors, I do encourage everyone to allot  for "me time". 

Let's hygge! 

GARDENING DURING THE PANDEMIC

My younger daughter sent me an interesting and fascinating link yesterday from the Daily Mail, Australia written by Matilde Rudd and Cindy Tran.  It was so funny, it made me laugh and  surely made my day!   

It is about this gardening obsession of housewives during this pandemic.  One husband tagged his wife  as " a plant lady". Apparently he  was too scared to say anything so he expressed his suppressed feelings by a post on social media.  

This "plant husband" said he was asked to bring up plants to their bedroom one day only to find that these were two "Jurassic-size palms" (his words).  The taller one was by his night table.  When he asked his wife how much they cost, she said she lost the receipt.  His post encouraged husbands all over Australia to also air their frustrations.  

One said that he came home from a weekend walking a jungle trail to find the entire wall of their master bath covered with hanging plants from the ceiling down.  "I thought I was still in the jungle" , he said.  

Another couldn't watch tv from his vantage point in the dining area because the place was covered with plants. Then there's this husband who when they had guests over couldn't join in the conversation because his face was concealed with vines.  So he just drunk his beer quietly lest his wife would send him dagger looks.  Another husband got tired putting up and down plants so his wife could get good photos of them. 

But I must say here that one housewife countered: "you told me to find a hobby and I found one".  So plant husband, what can you say to that? 

Gardening indeed had become one big pre-occupation during this pandemic.  Almost everyone has a  garden to cultivate, be it big or small.  Some do not really have real gardens but amazingly made do with just containers.  As long as there's a space, horizontal or vertical, we can have a garden. 

A friend cultivated and sold on line succulents and cacti in pretty little containers that her children helped paint.  Some made terrariums with small plants. A resort owner turned the big yard into a vegetable plantation to provide jobs for his employees.  A parish priest planted squash that provided viand for the hungry and unemployed. 

Unknowingly from the beginning, this pre occupation did not get past me as well.  While I've never really stopped gardening,  I became more enthusiastic and determined to enhance my ornamental front lawn because I realized it needed more color.  With the exception of the hibiscus covering the entire front fence, most of my plants are palms.  At the same time, I wanted to keep our backyard exclusively as an edible backyard garden.  

Fortunately for me, I have a dear and generous friend who gave me branches of her Bougainvilleas.  I got a branch each of the Mona Liza that bears red flowers;  the Mr and Mrs, that bears pink and white flowers and the sundown orange variety which in its name alone says what color of flowers they bear. 

That was about eight weeks ago and now I'm happy and more inspired after the twigs started to bear a new leaf or two. This says  I'm successful in propagation. I learned that a mature stem is the key with a few small leaves left.   If the leaves remain fresh and healthy, it means there's hope.  A necessary tip; NEVER TOUCH the plant, keep it steady after it is stacked into the soil and water gently on the sides every other day. 

But I was partly impatient to see some color at once so I went to a nearby nursery and bought a climbing 6-foot tall Mona Liza and 2 crepe myrtles; a red 4-foot tall and a pink which is slightly shorter. 

I asked the nursery owner how her business is faring, I presumed it is slow considering that people aren't freely allowed out of their homes except for necessities.  I was surprised to learn that she was making good.  

Well, gardening for sure has been and still is one of the major pandemic pastimes.  How about you?  Was it baking or gardening that occupied your time?  Do share your most enjoyable and fulfilling pastime during the last 4 months. 

SO THIS IS HOW IT FEELS TO BE 75!

Yes, I'll be turning 75 next month!  I am forever grateful for the privilege to live this long. I feel so blessed; it's truly a gift beyond belief!

But where did the years go? 

Was it only yesterday when I got married and embarked on a new life?  Thereafter, I rocked my first born son to sleep amidst tropical storms in Legaspi, Albay and on bright sunny days looking through the window at the magnificent perfect cone, the Mayon volcano.    

A few years onwards, I recall walking and holding my two  little girls (3 and 7 years old) on both hands while they skipped in front of Greenhills theatre every time we go to the shopping center. 

You'd think that 75 years, three quarters of a century is really a long time but I feel like it passed like a breeze.  I thought it would take a vey long time before I reach this age, yet before I knew it, I'm here. 

During my youth, when I was young and vibrant in high school and then college,  oftentimes I was overwhelmed with my hopes and dreams, I was determined to be successful, very confident, optimistic and in a hurry to face the world.  

But I soon realized that success is relative and sometimes people's lives unfold in the most unusual ways.  There were crossroads where I made choices and yes,  sometimes I can't help thinking of the "what if's"; wondering if I had chosen this or if I did that, had my life turned out differently?   But there's no point now to play the what-if game, after all I couldn't change the past or any of the million choices I made because in life there is no reset. 

They say that to succeed, we must aim high and dream big; aspire for the moon and if we're not lucky enough at least we'll land on a star.  But what would life be having landed on a star? 

Sometimes I wonder whether my dreams and aspirations were not all that big and my goal not high enough that I did not amass enormous wealth and I did not become famous.  Maybe my choices were conservative and they were not about wealth nor fame.  

I believe that my choices unconsciously led me to the lifestyle  I truly like; a simple uncomplicated life with a great and loving family.  "Simple" as in comfortable and to enjoy the "good life" along with the finer things in life.   But I believe in prudence regards our resources because we can't say how long we shall live and what health issues will befall us. 

So here I am, in "the winter of my life".  I see an older person in me now, and it surprises me because I see a great change.   My age is really beginning to show, not like the look I remember when I was younger.  But I feel better when I see others my age who look much older, hahaha! 

What is disheartening though is to hear that a friend is sick or worse, if he left us.  What do we expect, this is the stage in life when folks usually succumb to illness, the time that my brother-in-law humorously calls the "departure area".  Every time there's an alert on my husband's iPhone, we often hold our breath hoping it's not bad news.  And if it is, it is a warning to refrain from food detrimental to our health.  Well, I guess this is inevitable at our age. 

I learned that we must accept the reality of physical aging, we must be prepared for the aches and pains that occur occasionally; but I myself just let them be unless they persist for days and that's the only time to see the doctor.  

Nowadays I receive lots of messages and videos to  remedy those pains; exercises using the fingers and the palms; pressing a part of a foot here and there, rubbing this and that. But I believe in the mantra: "mind over matter, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter". 

So this is aging; coping and hoping that everything will be great forever.  When I turned 60, and I became a grandmother, I wanted to be there for the grandchildren as long as possible.  I started praying that I be blessed with physical independence and a lucid mind until the end.  And I pledged to do my part to take better care of myself to attain that goal.  

So I don't let up on exercise, most days I complete 10,000 steps which my pedometer gauges as 5 + kilometers.  On not so good days, I make over 8000, and my husband tells me not to force it.  I try to eat heathy, but sometimes I tell myself that  it won't hurt to indulge sometimes, "we only live once". 

There are still a lot of things I want to do, but for some reason maybe I missed the chance when I was younger and stronger.  Doing simple things are no longer as easy as they were before.  While I used to squat or bend to remove unwanted weeds in my garden earlier, well, I can still do that now with great effort, but that doesn't stop me from tending my garden.  

 

I am grateful to live in this so called the "luckiest generation",  the special edition,  because we experienced the "before" and live in the "after" of the greatest technological leap ever in this century. 

There is this  "golden memories"  (author unknown)  going around in the internet comparing what was then and now; it says that then we heard the click, clack of the typewriter, now our fingers are gracing the laptop keyboard.  Earlier, we depended on the telegraph and the postman to bring news from people important to us, now we enjoy FaceTime, zoom, what's up, etc..  

Then we were careful in taking pictures that takes so long to develop and accepted the turn out;  now we delete what's not good and even make the good ones better with photoshop; we used to record songs from the radio, now we download them on our gadgets. 

And so my life goes on.......enjoying a mellow lifestyle.  I love being a grandmother that I treasure every moment I can be with them.  I'm not that old yet so I am able to do a lot of gardening, cooking, reading, rearranging the furniture around the house, crocheting, exercising and blogging.  Contrary to what seems logical, I am amazed that I feel more focused now and my concentration is even better in spite life's distractions in this age and time. 

Now, let me end this with a line from a song dedicated to the retirees club going around in messenger: 

 

"In my heart I'll stay forever young".