Yes, I'll be turning 75 next month! I am forever grateful for the privilege to live this long. I feel so blessed; it's truly a gift beyond belief!
But where did the years go?
Was it only yesterday when I got married and embarked on a new life? Thereafter, I rocked my first born son to sleep amidst tropical storms in Legaspi, Albay and on bright sunny days looking through the window at the magnificent perfect cone, the Mayon volcano.
A few years onwards, I recall walking and holding my two little girls (3 and 7 years old) on both hands while they skipped in front of Greenhills theatre every time we go to the shopping center.
You'd think that 75 years, three quarters of a century is really a long time but I feel like it passed like a breeze. I thought it would take a vey long time before I reach this age, yet before I knew it, I'm here.
During my youth, when I was young and vibrant in high school and then college, oftentimes I was overwhelmed with my hopes and dreams, I was determined to be successful, very confident, optimistic and in a hurry to face the world.
But I soon realized that success is relative and sometimes people's lives unfold in the most unusual ways. There were crossroads where I made choices and yes, sometimes I can't help thinking of the "what if's"; wondering if I had chosen this or if I did that, had my life turned out differently? But there's no point now to play the what-if game, after all I couldn't change the past or any of the million choices I made because in life there is no reset.
They say that to succeed, we must aim high and dream big; aspire for the moon and if we're not lucky enough at least we'll land on a star. But what would life be having landed on a star?
Sometimes I wonder whether my dreams and aspirations were not all that big and my goal not high enough that I did not amass enormous wealth and I did not become famous. Maybe my choices were conservative and they were not about wealth nor fame.
I believe that my choices unconsciously led me to the lifestyle I truly like; a simple uncomplicated life with a great and loving family. "Simple" as in comfortable and to enjoy the "good life" along with the finer things in life. But I believe in prudence regards our resources because we can't say how long we shall live and what health issues will befall us.
So here I am, in "the winter of my life". I see an older person in me now, and it surprises me because I see a great change. My age is really beginning to show, not like the look I remember when I was younger. But I feel better when I see others my age who look much older, hahaha!
What is disheartening though is to hear that a friend is sick or worse, if he left us. What do we expect, this is the stage in life when folks usually succumb to illness, the time that my brother-in-law humorously calls the "departure area". Every time there's an alert on my husband's iPhone, we often hold our breath hoping it's not bad news. And if it is, it is a warning to refrain from food detrimental to our health. Well, I guess this is inevitable at our age.
I learned that we must accept the reality of physical aging, we must be prepared for the aches and pains that occur occasionally; but I myself just let them be unless they persist for days and that's the only time to see the doctor.
Nowadays I receive lots of messages and videos to remedy those pains; exercises using the fingers and the palms; pressing a part of a foot here and there, rubbing this and that. But I believe in the mantra: "mind over matter, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter".
So this is aging; coping and hoping that everything will be great forever. When I turned 60, and I became a grandmother, I wanted to be there for the grandchildren as long as possible. I started praying that I be blessed with physical independence and a lucid mind until the end. And I pledged to do my part to take better care of myself to attain that goal.
So I don't let up on exercise, most days I complete 10,000 steps which my pedometer gauges as 5 + kilometers. On not so good days, I make over 8000, and my husband tells me not to force it. I try to eat heathy, but sometimes I tell myself that it won't hurt to indulge sometimes, "we only live once".
There are still a lot of things I want to do, but for some reason maybe I missed the chance when I was younger and stronger. Doing simple things are no longer as easy as they were before. While I used to squat or bend to remove unwanted weeds in my garden earlier, well, I can still do that now with great effort, but that doesn't stop me from tending my garden.
I am grateful to live in this so called the "luckiest generation", the special edition, because we experienced the "before" and live in the "after" of the greatest technological leap ever in this century.
There is this "golden memories" (author unknown) going around in the internet comparing what was then and now; it says that then we heard the click, clack of the typewriter, now our fingers are gracing the laptop keyboard. Earlier, we depended on the telegraph and the postman to bring news from people important to us, now we enjoy FaceTime, zoom, what's up, etc..
Then we were careful in taking pictures that takes so long to develop and accepted the turn out; now we delete what's not good and even make the good ones better with photoshop; we used to record songs from the radio, now we download them on our gadgets.
And so my life goes on.......enjoying a mellow lifestyle. I love being a grandmother that I treasure every moment I can be with them. I'm not that old yet so I am able to do a lot of gardening, cooking, reading, rearranging the furniture around the house, crocheting, exercising and blogging. Contrary to what seems logical, I am amazed that I feel more focused now and my concentration is even better in spite life's distractions in this age and time.
Now, let me end this with a line from a song dedicated to the retirees club going around in messenger:
"In my heart I'll stay forever young".
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