All Saints' Day Reflection

All Saints' Day is almost here again, and to most people, this is a time to remember loved ones who passed.  I always remember my Papa and Mama most especially this time when I offer mass for their eternal repose. 

Since we buried my Mama in 1980, (my Papa went a year earlier) I haven't been back to my hometown nor looked back.  It was really hard for me to go back home in the earlier days and even to this day. Being there brings back all the memories that it hurt so much.  I can't bear entering our ancestral home to find that they are no longer there.   I believe that I can never be totally over their passing after all these years. 

The townsfolk, including my close friends and especially our relatives must have thought me heartless and insensitive not going to my parents' graves at least during the traditional All Saints' Day visit.  But the folks are kind, I never heard anything like that, I guess they respect my feelings.

You see, I believe that my parents are already in a better place; there's nothing there anymore.   I don't have to go to the cemetery to prove that I haven't turned my back on them.  Maybe my belief is not a popular one, no offense to those who think otherwise.  

But I know that they are always in my heart and mind.  They are in the memories I treasure, in the values and life lessons they taught me as well as in their love and care that made me who I am today in more ways than one. 

I love my parents very much but I regret not being able to give them enough comfort in their old age; they stayed in the province but we siblings lived in the Metro.  Not that I didn't try but I would have wanted them to have enjoyed life more in their later years.

My parents were not demanding, not at all.  In fact they never asked for anything but they were appreciative and thankful for what we could share and for the time we spent with them.  They never complained, they were just glad knowing that we, their children were happy and well. 

If they were alive today, they would have been excited having an iPad because their passion is reading, I would have downloaded ebooks for them, I can just imagine them reading novel after novel.  They would have enjoyed learning about the latest news and about the world via the Internet.  In their time they lived waiting for their weekly subscription of magazines to arrive and the paperbacks they ordered. 

If I can bring back the hands of time, that would be my greatest wish.  Here is where I want to thank them for introducing me to the world of books. 

Thank you Papa for showing me how to value hard work through gardening and farming.  You really had a green thumb, your ponderosa variety of chikoo or sapodilla were the best, they were bigger than the largest Fuji Apple, juicy and sweet as well.  The sweet-smelling  flowers of the magnolia you planted in our front lawn were really perfume material. 

Mama, I always admired your humble and quiet ways, accepting whatever life hands out.  Never a sigh or a word of complain did I hear when times were hard, you made almost everything possible, I know you tried very hard when things seemed hopeless. 

I can never forget the happy times baking cakes with you; angel food cake, pineapple upside down along with the other pastries in your baking repertoire.  I could never again taste a cake as good as those unless I bake them like you taught me.

 I can't believe that we made angel food cake using a fork to beat a dozen egg-whites until soft peaks formed.  Oh Mama, why didn't you buy a mixer?  You could afford it, we were not rich but we were not poor either.  I recall we also used a makeshift oven without a temperature gauge over a gas stove, something quite impossible now, but the cakes always turned out great.  I remember also that your  leche flan (creme brûlée) was the best!

On this coming All Saints Day, you know that I won't be there at the cemetery as always but I'll be remembering and praying for you both.  It would take me a lifetime to really say goodbye and that you will be in my heart forever. 

What Gifts to Give This Christmas?

We were visiting our son and his family when the subject of Christmas came about. My son said:

"I was thinking that maybe we should stop giving gifts on birthdays and Christmases, but not on my birthday this month", he jokingly continued. 

I fully understand where he is coming from; first he knows that we are all decluttering and striving to minimize our material possessions; well at least my two daughters and I.  

Secondly, like me he maybe running out of ideas what to get as gifts and thirdly (I think this is the most important reason), he believes that the best place to put his money is in new experiences in life rather than material things.  

But exchange gifts is a family tradition, one of the highlights of our Christmas celebration and I am hesitant to break it especially that we have grandchildren ages 2 and 11.  Besides, our gifts are not extravagant since they are just a token of our love for each other.  The great part though is in the opening them, hearing a lot of ohh and ahh and trying on clothes for size.  It is also a good opportunity to get fun pictures. 

As I thought about it, I asked myself what gifts we could give to excite our children, they are no longer kids writing to Santa Clause for a toy.  They are not choosy either but not home decor nor going out clothes, they have definite ideas about both.  Maybe their favorite coffee blend will do, but then, I have to get the expensive capsules, not the instant powder nor the beans.   Maybe they don't even want anything.  

How to choose a gift then?  The best way it to asked for a wish list, another is to give three choices before we even buy, that way the recipient gets an idea how much we are willing to spend; though this leaves out the element of surprise.

Our last birthdays were milestones since Jim and I turned 70, My son said: 

"Mom, notice that we didn't give you anything because we wanted to give you a significant gift and we decided to give you a trip to visit us, so go ahead and get tickets in any airline of your choice".  They gave Jim the same gift 8 months later.  

I don't know whether my earlier idea of a gift is different from yours because all along, I thought that a gift should be both a novelty and a luxury; something the recipient wouldn't buy for himself because it is a whim; also impractical but wants it anyway. 

In recent years however especially when times were more difficult and things became expensive people started giving practical gifts again.  Food like cakes, cookies, ham and cheese, pastries, a basket of fruits are the most common. 

I recall a colleague who when christmas comes around would give a wish list to her secretary to spread the word to the different departments.  The list consisted of facial and bathroom tissue,  bath and laundry soap, toothpaste, mouthwash, dish washing liquid, lotion and even sanitary napkins.  

In my teen years a gift like those would be an insult for it would seem like charity and there's the chance that the recipient will be offended and may say:

"Why, does she think I can't buy these for myself?"

What then if we don't like a gift we got?  Dan Erickson in one of his blogs at Hip Diggs says that we can do anything with our gifts;  donate to charity,  give it away or sell, whatever.  There is no rule to keep them since we are already the owners.  

Last Christmas, I learned to be practical in buying gifts,  this Christmas, I'll be more creative, I'll definitely get items that won't be stashed in a closet to occupy space or something that they may just give away.

What about you, do you feel the same way about gifts?  I'd like to hear your thoughts in the comments. 

Kailan in Oyster Sauce: My Version

Jim harvested a few stems from our edible backyard garden this morning and I thought I'd share with you my version of kailan in oyster sauce. 

See below the kailan plots. 

Kailan or Gai-lan as the Chinese call it, is also known as Chinese broccoli and belongs to the broccoli species.  It may be prepared like Pak Choy or Bok Choy.

After washing, I took off the leaves and removed the outer skin of the stalks. 

I steamed the leaves and stalks though it could also be blanched with a little salt. 

I soaked four pieces of dried shiitake last night,  now they are hydrated and ready to be sliced into thin pieces.  

The sauce is sautéed garlic, onions and shiitake, oyster sauce, half of pork bouillon, a dash of Italian spices and corn starch in water to thicken.  This is poured over the steamed kailan. 

This was our lunch today, it went well with KFC.  

Want to try it?

Gumamela Brings Joy!

When our children were young, we frequently go to Baguio, the City of Pines located in the northern mountains of the archipelago.  Developed by the Americans as a summer capital, where a US military base,  Camp John Hay is situated. It was built as a leisure place for the American military soldiers and officers.  It has many attractions that it was dubbed as "Little America", it includes a world class competition golf course designed by the golf legend, John Nicklaus. 

"It is sweet", my 7-year-old younger daughter said after sucking the sap of the gumamela flower's  inner core and about to pluck another.  Our family of five were standing on the top level of the Baguio Cathedral grounds during a family vacation.  The flower box bordering the edge was full of single-petal red gumamela in bloom. 

Yes,  the gumamela flowers and leaves are edible, I learned that Hawaiians put the flowers in salads to aide in digestion and the Chinese pickle and eat them.  The leaves and roots made into tea maybe used as herbal medicine as expectorant, diuretic, emollient, anti-pyretic, anti- infectious and anti-inflammatory.  

The gumamela, also known as hibiscus or Chinese Rose is a common ornamental plant in the Philippines.  Information I gathered claim that it originated from India and  eventually found its way to the Asia Pacific.   Today, work to come up with more  colors of gumamela flowers is still  going on. 

BTW, it maybe interesting to know about a Tahitian lore where a gumamela is worn over the right ear shows that a person is looking for a mate; over the left ear means that a mate has been found.  

When we were kids, we mash or pulp the flowers and leaves, add a little soap and water to make a mixture.  Using a hallow papaya stalk, dip it in the mixture and blow bubbles in the air.  What fun that was. 

In our hometown and probably in all provinces, the gumamela plant is everywhere, some houses and establishments allowed it to grow into a hedge to conceal a part of a yard or garden.  In school we were taught the basic parts of a flower using the single-petal gumamela as specimen.  The center of the flower where everything is connected  has a sweet sap that bees and butterflies like. 

I am a gumamela fancier, I find joy in its colorful flowers that bloom all year round.  I fancy more the double-petal ones, though they only last a day while the single-petal variety lasts longer.   

I've always envied houses with gumamela flowers blooming in their yards; so when we moved to our new home a year ago, I initially bought two gumamela plants with yellow-orange flowers.  I had them planted in our front yard along with several cuttings in different colors I gathered from neighbors. 

This is how far my gumamela have grown.

Some cuttings I planted in pots.

Take a look at this rare red double-petal, the single red is the most common.  

I observed that when the plant is still small, the flowers are small as well, in other words, the size of the flowers are proportionate to the plants that bear them. 

This flower has tiny leaves still to develop.  I posted it on Facebook and a friend said that it looks like a painting. As I look longer at this picture, I'm convinced that indeed, it is like a painting. 

I'm still collecting other colors, a relative in the US said that she used to have a black one back home in the Philippines.  Here are close-ups of some I have, I'm missing the peach here. 

Nowadays, I'm so happy with the continuous flowers these plants provide.   Early in the morning, Jim would often call me outside to look at several flowers that opened.  Just admiring the vibrant colors sets our day, definitely adds a lot to our home's curve appeal.