THE JOY OF FRIENDSHIP

​If you’ve asked me five years back , I’d say that I’ve never been happier with friends than those from college.  They’re amazing but they all went abroad except me and we only see each other when they’re in town. 

Further back in time there are friends from grade school through high school but most of them  live abroad too. We catch up on Facebook and when they come home for vacation. 

I developed enduring friendships from work but we didn’t have enough “adventures” to enjoy each other; the bonding times were too far in between and mostly work related. Nowadays we get together only during milestone celebrations. 

Actually friendships start in kindergarten. One stops crying after Mom leaves when a classmate try to engage us in conversation. If connection is sustained over the years; they become the most enduring friendships ever; otherwise they are the ones we will fondly remember. 

But if you ask me now, my answer would be different;  I enjoy being with my neighbors? My walking buddies who quickly turned to real friends before I could blink an eye. 

Why so and why so fast? Because we see each other everyday while we walk seven kilometers. Moreover, we breakfast together frequently. Imagine the bonding time getting to know each other? 

So yes! I am happy that I found these neighbors; my friends now.  They have diverse personalities. The foremost is generous and inspiring; definitely spreads love while the other is nurturing.  One is cheerful another motherly; one is affable while the last two are emphatic and the other diplomatic. As a whole they are all wonderful, generous, warm hearted, supportive and sympathetic individuals. 

Here is a typical week of walking and bonding. 

Breakfast in Red

By the cypress tree in Orange

In Yellow after breakfast at home 

In White with sunglasses 

Black in the street. 

Lavender friendship chain

Pink bougainvillea 

Green in the garden

Breakfast in Gray

Street Blues 

Engaging with younger friends makes us experience diverse interests; they exude a unique sense of humor. They keep us in touch with the times;  refreshes and updates us with the latest techie lingo, the acronyms and slang commonly used in social media. In other words they make us feel young. 

I thought that in retirement I’d live a slower life. I know it can be liberating; no more playing the corporate game. 

As Kathy Merlino, my fave retirement blogger put it: “ no more go along and get along at work and work, work, work to achieve more in order to gain  higher levels of prestige, money and success”. 

I tried to look for my next big thing when I retired; I wanted to pursue a hobby and turn it into a business. Success only means doing something that would bring revenue right? WRONG! It will never guarantee happiness. 

My younger daughter suggested to get on with my life and just do the ordinary, so I started to walk, did five thousand steps a day that led me to new heights. The exercise and the joy of friendships provided a healthy balance. 

Getting older without friends is a long and lonely road towards the end. After retirement we miss the office camaraderie and the only way to fill the void is to connect more with friends. 

So here’s to friendship! Cheers to my friends, old and new!

A BREAKFAST SEND OFF FOR A FRIEND.

​We had big smiles as we welcomed this beautiful sunny day!  Let me tell you about our breakfast today; a send off for Carol, our walking buddy and her husband Alfred. They are going back to the US for an extended period.  Some of our husbands found the time to join us. We took some photos for posterity.

Below are Carol and Alfred, the guests of honor.   

We always do 7 kilometers first before we gather for breakfast! Let me share our photos wearing yellow shirts today. Fridays you will see us in the streets wearing black; but today should be happy and bright so we chose yellow  representing happiness, joy, energy and friendship. Yellow is also link to the sun that gives life and light. 

We thank Claire and Dr. Kim , the lovely and generous couple and our hosts. 

This photo below shows the couple’s  two sons whom we fondly call the Jacoboys. They are sociable, they entertained us.  Cheska brought along her daughter, Aaryaa, their playmate. 

And there she is, their Mom looking like a princess with her yellow headband of roses  and the  youngest buddy, our host, Claire. 

We appreciate this beautiful table setting 

And this yummy spread prepared for us. 

Earlier while waiting for the guests of honor to arrive we took photos. 

Here below are the youngest in the group, three C’s; Carol, Cheska and Claire. Ain’t they lovely? 

Well, time flies like a breeze when we are having fun and before we knew it, mommy duties call. As they say, all good things must come to an end. That was an amazing breakfast. 

We wish Carol and Alfred a safe trip and happy landings! 

 

TEN TIPS TO GAIN THE LOYALTY OF HOUSEHOLD HELP

​Nowadays, getting a stay-in household help is not easy, especially if we are  looking for a reliable, efficient and loyal one. 

Gone were the days when Jim and I would go home to our hometown and for sure we are able to get one, most often from the family members of our “ kasama”, the ones who tend our farm. 

Usually we want to get someone well recommended by friends or family but that is not always possible. Oftentimes we are desperate so we turn to the agency. 

What can we do to keep our household helpers loyal and stay with us for as long as possible?  That is, if we are lucky enough to get one. 

Here are a few tips. 

1-Compensate them well and pay them on time. Some of their family members back home maybe dependent on them. 

2- Feed them well; make sure they are given basic and satisfying 3 square meals and afternoon snacks. They can’t work well if they are hungry. This is one way to earn big points towards gaining their loyalty. However, specify which food the are allowed to consume from you refrigerator and pantry. 

3- From the start, spell out their responsibilities; give them a list if you must. Make sure they understand our expectations; show them exactly how we want things done. Do not expect them to know how to clean our bathrooms when most of them never used such; let them know our standard of. cleanliness 

Be clear about your expectations. At the onset, provide a routine, if necessary an hourly one and specify break time. Check that they can cope with their assignment; understand that some of them are inexperienced or slow workers; therefore there is a need to evaluate their coping ability 

Do not disturb them during break time or when they take their meals. 

4- Treat them humanely; do not insult them and never hurt them physically. Be patient, guide them properly without scolding. Show appreciation; give praise for a job well done. Always use the magic words “please” and “thank you”. They deserve that as much as the waiters who serve us in restaurants. 

5- Provide proper and well ventilated sleeping quarters; they too deserve some comfort and privacy so they can rest well. 

6-Try to allay their loneliness or boredom by providing TV entertainment if possible. Give access to WiFi if you can but not the password.  Specify that receiving and answering calls or messages are only aloud during rest periods

7- Do not allow visits from friends and relatives for security reasons. They can meet up with them during their days off. 

8-Ftom the start agree on the frequency of days off. 

9- Specify what personal items you will provide and what they need to buy themselves. Tell them if they are allowed to us the washing machine for their clothes. 

10- Show them empathy; when we entertain, there is extra work; help them to clean up and put things  in order. If budget allows, give them a bonus but make sure this is not abused lest they might think that it it the SOP. 

NOT JUST A PARTY BUT STRENGTHENING FRIENDSHIP

​What a lovely evening! The Valentine Party of the Sweet Magnolias. 

Once again we were able to strengthen our bond;  friendship that has grown beyond walking. This is due to shared experiences and common interests in cooking, fashion, healthcare and topics like keeping our marriage alive; dealing with household help issues and most of all enjoying more the finer things in life together 

And just recently, we discovered our love for dancing and singing. 

How did Tess put it? 

“ it is nice to have neighbors who become your friends, with whom you exercise everyday and share breakfast almost every other day. How lucky can you be?”.  

We had the best venue for this party; a place that is most coveted in town, the charming home of Tess. It encompasses an unsurpassed ambiance and winner cuisine. 

We arrive to see  this elegantly set dining table

And I saw my assigned place

After we were served drinks, mine is our favorite Barefoot Pink Moscato that Tess always keep in her bar. It would be lackadaisical of me not to mention the over the top appetizers prepared by our host, Tess.  The most anticipated kinilaw prepared from the freshest Tangigue, lemon, peppers, ginger, spring onions and the creamiest coconut milk. 

Not to be outdone is another favorite, the ELAR’S  lechon. 

But wait, there’s more. The extra large oysters! The winner! 

Each one brought a dish, mine was the beef asado, a favorite from my cooking repertoire, learned from my mother in law. 

Claire’s Greek salad and roast chicken. 

There’s Cheska’s truffle resoto to die for and her crispy-on-the-outside-soft-and-chewy-on-the-inside focaccia to dip in special balsamic vinegar and olive oil. 

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The best is yet to come! The strawberry cake from Purple Oven brought by Mel and the creamiest homemade cheese ice cream brought by Carol. 

Coffee and fresh tarragon-mint tea were served when singing started. 

Carol opened the singing 

Tess rendition was unexpectedly welcomed and it brought the house down. And it started the dancing. 

The husbands shared their favorite ballads; 

Jim sang “May The Good Lord Bless And Keep You” ; dedicated to Tess for her return to Holland with the 3-C’s (Carol, Cheska and Claire) as back up singers. 

When Doc Kim sang “ Just Tell Me You Love Me” he only had eyes for Claire. 

Aside from singing, can’t avoid Marites:

Came next was Mar with his Broadway songs. I’m amazed how he can hold a note, great breathing there, Mar. 

Husband AP and wife, Cheska sang “Dancing Queen” and encouraged more dancing. 

Then AP belted “Achy, Breaky Heart” and dancing continued. 

Claire shared one of her favorites from Les Miserables and gave another duet with Mar. 

What more can I say except to say thank you Tess, our host for such an unforgettable night.  We broke up at half after midnight and would you believe that we still covered 7 kilometers the very next day. 

We were so high that we couldn’t get over from the excitement of the night before. We sang almost the entire time and then we realized the other songs we could have sang. Oh well, those are for the next party.