Remembering My Mama on Christmas

When Christmastime comes around every year, I can't help having mixed emotions; happy and sad at the same time since I remember my parents, especially my Mama; someone who is very loving, kind-hearted and selfless.  She always put us, her children before herself; she gives her all just to make us happy. 

It is during Christmastime that I remember her most because she plays the organ for the church choir.  I remember this clearly for she always tag me along during practice and during the mass that I memorized all the hymns, especially the Latin ones sung during the misa de gallo.  Again, my favorite is Pastores a Belen, sung in Spanish. 

But more than that, I also remember with longing how she made our home happy especially on Christmas.  She would tirelessly bake cakes, ( my favorite is the angel food cake);  cook the hanging dried leg of Chinese ham that boils for hours  and finishes it with sprinkled brown sugar and caramelize the top by pressing a blazing-hot steel butcher knife or steel ladle or turner on top.  I believe there was no torch then or maybe we just didn't have one. I also love her baked chicken-macaroni-Chinese sausage-tomato dish that tasted like heaven.  And her fruit salad is to die for!  She mixes raw egg yolks with nestle cream and some sugar to cans and cans of peaches and fruit cocktail. 

And that's not all, there were all the fruits: grapes, oranges and apples but the roasted chestnuts is my favorite.  Since my Papa love that so much as well, she buys a lot;  I remember gallons of chestnuts in reusable magnolia ice cream aluminum cans.  But the best is always served last, the big slab of torrones that she sliced into one-inch chunks that we had for desert and downed with muscatel.

We always had guests, even though we lived in my Papa's hometown, while my Mama came from Calixto Dico in Manila, still she made lots of friends, young and old, single and married.  They always come to our parties, and they had lots of fun, laughing and dancing till dawn.  She keeps the table filled with food and kept pouring drinks. 

But, let's go back to my Mama.  

Her passion is not really cooking, though she is excellent in that department, she loves reading.  When I was little, she subscribed to almost all the monthly women's magazine: Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, Ladies Home Companion, Cosmopolitan, Harper's bazaar, House And Garden while my Papa had the Reader's Digest, Saturday Evening Post and Popular Mechanics.  Then there were also the weekly local magazines, Women's, Kislap and two others I can't recall.

Receiving these magazines from the postman (there were no local editions in the 50's), was like getting candy for my Papa and Mama.  The magazines are shipped and they came rolled in brown paper, and my papa would flatten it down by rolling it the opposite way.  

These magazines were just "appetizers" for they also read a lot of novels, their main menu.  I look back with sadness that they haven't lived today;  I would have gotten them both an iPad and downloaded lots and lots of ebooks for them. 

Later, when I was married, I would bring my Mama to the bookstore, aside from the restaurant where we went to eat,  that's all she wanted to go at the mall.  When I got my groceries, l left her at the bookstore to browse as long as she pleased.

One day, my nanny who had lots of friends in the village brought her to a neighbor's house with shelves and shelves of novels; she was so excited that when I got home from work she looked like she had just won the lottery:

"There are many shelves full of paperbacks and the owner said I can borrow as many and as long as I like, look what I got for a first batch", she told me showing about twenty books.  

When Christmas comes around every year, I really regret that my parents haven't lived longer, they passed away too soon, they were just in their early 60's.  It would have been my turn to prepare a sumptuous Christmas dinner for them.  It would have made me very happy to buy them all the books and magazines both ebooks or paperbacks alike.   Sad to say that I will never have that chance.   But they are always in my heart every Christmas and everyday of my life. 

"Merry Christmas Papa!, merry Christmas Mama!"

A Sneak Peek Into My Living Room

They say that "your home is you", but is this sea life motif really me?   Hardly!  I'm not a "fish in the water", I don't even know how to swim, that's why my husband and I seldom go to beach resorts.  The only thing I enjoy is walking barefoot on the sand and drinking cocktails by the beach or near the pool while reading a book. 

Because sea life is not me, I was at a loss earlier on how I was going to share this with you.  I thought I'd take my time since I needed to gather more inspiration. 

But hey! I recall now that my zodiac sign is "cancer", and surely, that may count for something, don't you think?  So I went ahead because this is my chance to showcase my blue-and-white ceramics as well as my seashells.  I've been attempting to do this for sometime now but I just couldn't figure out how; well, not until I saw a picture of both mixed together and voila! a light bulb clicked.

 "That's  it". 

This idea got me very excited that I immediately thought of doing a minor change in my living room.  At the same time, I was happy that I could finally use the starfish shells that my older daughter got me when her family vacationed in Shangrila, Mactan. 

After my initial draft, I felt self-conscious publishing it. 

"Mom, where's your blog on the star fish Christmas tree?",

my younger daughter; who looks out for my latest blog every weekend sent this iMessage.

"I changed my mind, publishing it feels like I'm bragging and it may not even be good enough, it may look mediocre to others", I replied.  She then messaged back: 

"Those who love you will appreciate it". 

This gave me a big boost, that I gathered enough courage to publish it.  However, if it is not what you expected; then just scroll quickly.  Do I sound like I'm lacking in self-confidence here?

This year, I thought I'd skip putting up my green garlands, my grape-vine blinkers, pine-cone wreaths, my brass Santa Claus sled, the glazed red and gold balls and silver-glittered Christmas ornaments; including the red tabletop merry-go-round and toy train that's supposed to go around the Christmas tree.  Instead I focused on the starfish, this being the "star" and the only thing that says: 

"It's Christmas!"

(This picture is copied from the Shangrila Resort and Spa advertisement)

So here it is,  come look!

There is light....

Nowadays there are a lot of very modern and interesting lighting fixtures to brighten up a room, but I still I like this antique-looking one with iridescent and opalescent Swarovski balls that scatter beams of sparkling brilliance around.  My husband thought it is nice to include it. 

My mantel: A curated clutter look.  

Every time I do an arrangement, I always  attempt to be minimalistic; heeding decorators who often say that "less is more".  The thing is, I tend to search for things around the house that I could incorporate in the mix so I often end up with "more is more".  But then an interior design expert said that "more is fabulous!".  So here I've done "so much more" again. 

The main event here is the pair of big shells on the floor, sandwiching the blue-and-white jar.  They came from my husband's ancestral home.  When my in-laws retired and went to live in Vancouver, my husband brought these two shells home. 

"When do you think your Mom got them?", I asked my husband. 

"I don't know, they were just there for as long as I remember", he replied. 

Since it's Christmas, I thought, I'd put my gifts along as well.

A Myriad of Stars

This bushida tree has ample little branches that hanging a lot of starfish is possible.  Again, my younger daughter said :

"I like the idea of the 'floating' starfish". You may wonder about the silvery-white "net" with tassels I put in to mimic a fishnet, I thought it added a nice touch. 

This is what my younger daughter saw when she said she likes the floating starfish. 

Picture perfect

This is my husband's corner. 

Someone said that: 

"a chair is only finished when someone sits on it".  

We love this wing chair, it is beautiful, well made, functional and worth every penny we paid for it.  When family and friends come visit, this is a favorite place to take a solo photo. 

Celadon passion

Most of my celadon collection are showcased here. I put grayish-silvery blue and Aqua throw pillows to mimic the silver sand and blue sky.  I see that they blend well with the celadon and they contrast with the brown leather couch. 

All's well with shell

Most people would put only a few things on their coffee table, perhaps at the most, they will put five, but for me again, there's more. I thought that this is also another place to put the blue-and-white vases with the shells again. 

Starfish obsession

This is a second coffee table which I placed right beside the bigger one. 

Serene green

This place has the best view of the house.  My husband likes to sit on one of these armchairs where he can see through the dining room and on towards our bedroom door. 

By the French Window

This sofa has the French window as its backdrop. Again, I added throw pillows to match the color of the sea and sky. Notice I did not put blue drapes as I intended earlier.  I feel that my alternate curtain looks like sand when hit by sunlight. 

Vibrantly orange

I love the vibrant colors of fall, and orange seems to be my color palate. I placed my orange vases here to match the large throw pillow as well as the two big oblong orange ornaments that hang on the dried twig, adorned with tiny orange flowers. This corner is an inviting place to sit alone. 

So, that's it folks. 

What do you think?  

Did I do justice to the sea life theme, even though it's not "really me"? 

Good or good, I'd appreciate your comments. 

I'm sure by now, most of us already adorned our homes with things we love; things that we feel comfortable and happy with.   Afterall, that's what makes a house a home.  

Merry Christmas everyone! 

Trick Or Treat

Yesterday I exercised my heart to pump faster.  It's a good thing though, I even made the 10,000-steps-a-day my fitbit suggested among other things to reach a desired weight goal  by April.  

Want to know why?  I had to accompany my granddaughter trick or treating at the mall.  After getting the details of the trick or treat happening in the mall last night, I called my daughter to confirm our schedule the following day.

"Is my granddaughter ready for trick or treat?"

"She was ready three days ago", my daughter replied.

I laughed, "it's a good thing then, her Papa will get her at 8:30, we have to be early, we expect a big crowd and we still need to register", I said. 

"Ok, she will leave the house with costume on and by then she should be done with breakfast". 

I don't know why this tradition became very popular in our country in recent years. I guess it's the American influence again. In my childhood, we also celebrated Halloween by singing relevant songs (taught in school) going around from  house to house at night and they give us coins or rice cakes, but we had to sing.  Nowadays, the kids just knock on doors and say: "trick or treat", sometimes they don't even have to say anything, they just raise their pumpkin basket and they'll get candies. 

At exactly 10, we were among a big crowd at the mall, the place was even more colorful with all the children in their costumes.  After lining up to register, we followed the rest as they queue from one store to another.  It's a good thing that I requested my granddaughter's nanny to be with her as they queue while I took pictures. 

It was happening too fast, the children tried to beat  one another to get to every store before they run out of goodies.   I had to keep up as well; I didn't realize how children  can run fast without getting tired easily,  but at least I coped since I'm used to walking fast myself.  

After an hour and her big pumpkin basket half-full, we opted to have lunch.  We were all tired but happy. 

I guess my granddaughter says: "thank you" this way better than a thousand words.  

Next year again?   

Why not?

Are You Living Your Authentic Self?

I could have easily ignored this book from the pile if I didn't get a glimpse of the author, my idol, Dr. Phil McGraw.  I knew right away that it is worth reading it, "Self Matters"

He says that it is very important to live our true selves, otherwise it would be toxic to our own lives and unfair to our love ones as well.  Living our true selves make us better persons, better spouses and better parents.  

How to know if we are truly living the best of who we are?

Dr. Phil says:

"think to the time of your life when you have been your absolute happiest; 

the most fulfilled and especially the most real you have ever been, 

when your life flowed with energy and excitement; 

feeling a quiet calm, be it at work but it seemed like play; 

feeling like you're exactly where you should be, 

doing what you were meant to do;

You were having fun and didn't care what others thought;

No room for fear or anxiety or self-doubt

Every part of your life is in harmony with the others, 

Fully living in the moment with a sense of optimism, 

An expectation that tomorrow is going to be just as interesting and gratifying  as today;

Most importantly, you accepted yourself for who and what you are. "

Wow! That's a lot, right?  Does it sound too perfect for you?  And you want to know if that is even possible?  Sounds like heaven to me. 

But who are we to question an expert, such as Dr. Phil, who counsels such big and famous personalities; besides, who are we to argue when most of the examples he wrote were from his own personal experiences from childhood to where he is today to drive his point?  In fact, his examples are factual; Ophra Winfrey even shared one of her defining moments when she was in 3rd grade. 

When I started reading this, my first thought was to examine myself; I guess that was the point buying this book in the first place.  All my life, and especially now that I am no longer employed and practically own my time, I'm in constant quest for ideas to improve my quality of life. I don't mean fame and fortune; far from it, all I want is to be healthy, happy and fulfilled. 

Further into the book, I learned that upon birth, we have a clean slate of self concept.  Our life experiences, most especially what we clearly remember and what we believe important, impact our self concept, good or bad depending on how we thought about them.  

"our self-concept were determined by only ten defining moments, seven critical choices and five pivotal people have provided positive input to our self-concept; while other defining moments, critical choices, and pivotal people have poisoned authenticity and distorted how we see ourselves", wrote Dr. Phil. 

As I look back,  I am faced with a lot of "what if's" regards the choices and decisions I made.  I know that they are now "water under the bridge";  but it doesn't mean that I can't do anything about some of them anymore, right? 

Now I recall while I was in my fourth year high school,  an aunt-in-law, a chemist, who worked abroad and apparently very successful visited us, Then and there, I decided I wanted to be like her. Later on however, while  pursuing chemistry, I had a lot of frustrations, I also didn't like long hours doing the laboratory experiments.  However, I must have been too proud to admit that I made a wrong choice and I didn't want to disappoint my parents.  When I got the diploma I didn't feel like laboring myself daily in a laboratory, constantly wearing a lab gown, so I didn't bother pursuing the profession. 

Eventually, I found myself an administrative position; and part of my responsibility was managing a school plant; however challenging it was, a thankless job as they say, I liked being in charge and easily embraced a management position thereafter. 

Then there's my husband, a licensed Chemical Engineer who first worked as a quality control supervisor right after college. Obviously he was not happy working in the manufacturing plant; nor he believed he can be happy doing a desk job all day.  He found soon enough that he wanted to be out there in the field so he looked for a marketing job.   

When ESSO hired him, he found his true calling.  He really like selling so much that one annual vacation, when I can't take time off from work to enjoy it with him, he sold home appliances on the side.  Let me tell you, he is really good at this, he can sell almost anything; once he even helped a friend sell his inter-island passenger vessel.

As I read further into the book, Dr. Phil wrote:

"..this is not an all or nothing proposition, there maybe something that you wish you could add to an otherwise great life...."

Now I'm beginning to understand why I even opened a convenience store and my husband easily agreed.  He knew I enjoy having a shop, so I run it even while I was employed.  He knew that it is just a "hobby" and I only make coffee money out of it.  But then again, I am fulfilling one of my passions. Now that I am retired it is also an "escape" when I feel too much confined at home.

When I was working, I thought that my life won't be interesting anymore after I retire, that I'd get bored staying at home;  but I was wrong.  Now I am as busy as ever, yet I feel good doing what I like.  In fact, I feel more "alive" today than in any other time in my life; there is that constant adrenaline flowing, I'm always interested to learn new things, so many things to discover and I feel like there are more good times ahead. 

What do you think, am I now more connected to my authentic self, and truly living who I really am?

Having said that however, there are still things I like to do; like getting a piece of land to start my herb garden, plant and sell some ornamentals; maybe buy and sell old furnitures and fixtures; organize a shop to craft articles from wood scrap and even add a snack bar into the mix. 

More than that, I'd like to write my biography, write a book and perhaps publish it, oh, my list is a long one. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to accomplish some of these before the curtain falls?

I know that I just scratched the surface of this subject but I'm sure you get the idea. So if you are not feeling like any or all of the situations I quoted at the start, then maybe you need some soul searching.  

Finally, Dr. Phil wrote:

"what matters is that you commit to finding and reconnecting to your authentic self; rewrite your personal truth  and live a life that lets you be who you are; if you don't do that, no one will".

"A racehorse has to run, a bird has to fly, an artist has to paint, a teacher has to teach. There is something in you that you have to do".  

Celebrating A Wedding Anniversary

This week is a double celebration of wedding anniversaries of my two daughters. Two days ago my older daughter and her family flew to Shangrila, Mactan to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary. 

Before they left, they bade good bye to her in-laws who just live next door.  

"Today is the wedding anniversary of my mom and dad", my 9-year-old granddaughter whispered to her Abolita (her fraternal grandma; she calls me Nana).  

Abolita nodded.

"Well, aren't you going to greet them", she prodded.

Embarrassed, my daughter asked my granddaughter:

"Are you soliciting greetings for us?". 

The 10th wedding anniversary is truly a milestone, years spent together is proof to that;  they created sweet memories to remember and cherish as well as trials along the way.

That's the reason, the anniversary symbol is tin, says 

Anniversary-ideas-step-by-step.com:

"Tin symbolizes preservation and longevity.  At one time, food was stored in tin-plated iron cans.  The tin protected the iron from rust and corrosion, preserving the food inside, potentially forever.  A couple at the milestone anniversary of ten years has the ability to go the distance.  Therefore, the tenth anniversary should be celebrated with special honor."

Tomorrow, my younger daughter will celebrate her wedding anniversary, her first.  I'd say that this is a milestone as well for a lot of adjustment and compromise take place on the first year.  It is when reality sets in; when they were dating, the atmosphere is obviously different. 

What does anniversary-ideas-step-by-step.com say about the first year?  

"The first year of marriage is like a clean sheet of paper, a new beginning upon which to write your passage through the years together.  Also like paper, it is fragile and can easily rip, not having tried the fires of adversity and the storms of life yet". 

"We all have a childhood belief that with love, everything goes like silk, yet the reality is marriage requires a lot of compromise." ---Raquel Welch

My husband and I are really blessed that our son and daughters are finally settled with spouses they truly love. We visit their homes often and we like what we see;   I know that they also have their low moments, but who doesn't.?  

Somebody wrote that we perceive our friends' marriage is better than ours because whenever we ask, they always say "we're good", but they won't tell us how they put up with each other when they're alone.  Well, except maybe your best friend who confides in you, who most likely is still on denial. 

"I always thought that marriage was about finding the perfect match.  Now I realize it's about trying to match the different pieces together perfectly."  ---Courteney Cox

To married people out there, whether happy or not, it maybe good to heed the wisdom of the late Joan Rivers, in an open letter to her daughter Melissa on her wedding day, as published in the November 1998 issue of McCalls magazine; here's an excerpt:

".....learn to compromise, be what the Japanese call the wise bamboo; in other words, learn to bend so you don't break.  Be flexible, and pick your battles carefully ---you'll lose nothing if you let your spouse have his way once in a while.  What gains, however, is your marriage".

Our Village Fiesta

Today is our village fiesta, in honor of The Blessed Virgin Mary, Our Lady Of The Pillar. This special day is always celebrated on the second Sunday of October.  It is also the 34th anniversary of my younger daughter's baptism. 

We usually baptize our babies within two months of birth, but then, the contractors whom my husband was talking to for a long time suddenly became free to start our home renovation.  They showed up without warning one Monday morning, so we took advantage of the opportunity.  We badly needed the house extension as we already had three children and our original house had only two bedrooms.

To make a long story short, the renovation took longer as is usually the case in most constructions.  When we pushed back the baptism of our daughter to October, after the cleaning and polishing inside and outside our home; we were oblivious that it would coincide with the fiesta.  By tradition some Filipinos would schedule such occasions to coincide with the fiesta or even Christmas since they would be giving a party anyway, "para minsanan" (one time preparation), they would say; but that is not us; we want such special occasion to be a separate and distinct affair.  

Back to the village fiesta. 

In the late 70's, when we bought our house in this village, most residents were basically our contemporaries; everyone then were eager to connect with neighbors as we were all strangers in this place. I recall street meetings in our home as my husband had been a long time Chairman.  Our Christmas parties were celebrated by the entire street. 

A week before the occasion, a carnival opens in the plaza, the villagers would go there to join in the fun; they would ride the ferries wheel while children enjoy the mini rides.  The fiesta used to be a two-day celebration; on the first night, there was amateur singing contest and residents participated. 

The second day was focused on church activities since it is the feast day of our Lady of the Pillar; mass baptisms and mass confirmations were administered by the visiting bishop. 

Parade bands would go around the village, people would linger in the streets; residents usually invite friends and relatives to their homes and the celebration would last the whole day until late at night when they watch a variety show. The residents pulled strings to invite as many show biz personalities and celebrities to sing or just for personal appearance. 

 

Nowadays however, this is no longer true. I guess, we are not so excited anymore, for one thing most of our children are adults who now have their own lives somewhere in the city or even abroad. 

This morning, as my husband and I attended the 10:30 mass as we do every Sunday, we were surprised that the church, including the wings were over-flowing.  We were a little late but the usherettes know us so they sat us on the 4th row together with the church committee and members of church organizations.  

It was a concelebrated high mass, with two bishops and at least 10 priests in attendance.  The main celebrant who is a visiting bishop gave the homily; he said that the blessed Virgin Mary made this apparition in Zaragoza, Spain, while still on earth, she was then living in Jerusalem.  To know more about this celebration/ apparition, click this link:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_the_Pillar

Today, I am happy that our village fiesta is confined in church activities, nothing pompous or commercial about it as most celebrations are nowadays.