"If eyes were made for seeing, then beauty is its own excuse for being." ----Ralph Waldo Emerson.
You may wonder why I now focus on such a big subject as "beauty", a "big deal" to many and a "huge deal" to a few.
I guess this was inspired by two things; the latest love song,
"crazy beautiful" of David Pomeranz, and a local movie,
"crazy beautiful you" that was showing at the mall recently.
"beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"
I've often wondered who said this quote first.
So I googled and I initially got this funny answer:
"Maybe the one who said that has an ugly partner",
and I couldn't stop laughing.
Shakespeare likewise was mentioned believing in the saying, having quoted the same thing in so many words. Then I happened along this phrase finder link and got my answer. Click the link to find out.
So, what about you, do you believe that
"beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"?
I myself believe it's true; someone even said that:
"Beauty is not real, it only exist in perception".
Proof? Look around and see couples whose partners are the unlikely choices if we go by the common standard; that is, their physical appearance should compliment or match each other well; tall people should get partners approximately their size; a handsome guy looking like he came out of a GQ magazine page get as partner a Victoria Secret Angel; or someone as good looking as he is.
But what do we see?
In our village alone, I often see this very tall and lanky guy who jogs with this average-height woman whose head doesn't even reach his chest. Then there's this very handsome, really attractive guy who is head-over-heels with a double-plus-size woman; not that I don't believe this big lady deserves this gorgeous guy as her partner. What I'm just trying to say is that there must be other elements in the attraction that is beyond the physical.
Of course! Why do CEOs seem to get all the attention from the ladies? Is it his money? But then, why do very rich girls probably far richer than them are attracted as well; they even go to certain extents to outdo other ladies for their attention. Is it the power that they represent or the confidence that they exude?
Then again some CEOs are neither young nor handsome, some are old, short and bald with bulging beer-bellies yet attractive nonetheless; so what is it? Could it be their charisma for one, wisdom and maturity another, or that and self-assurance all rolled into one? After all, isn't it true that "we create what we project", no matter how we look, how much money we have or power we weild.
Then there's the beauty standard of the entertainment industry and the fashion world; a criteria that seem impossible to achieve for ordinary people like the majority; unless one practically stops eating to keep a Barbie-doll figure. Do we really need to starve to look beautiful? Many of us put ourselves down if we don't look like them and it makes us insecure and unhappy. Do we need a flat belly or a perk nose to look and feel beautiful and happy?
Very often, we idolize celebrities or models who graze magazine covers. But do we even understand how much air-brushing they go through just to have a flawless skin? Do we know of the crazy diets they follow to a point of hunger so they can remain in the trend? Do we count how many times they go under the knife? And what about the fact that some have to deal with a relentless personal trainer who drive them to a point of drop-dead exhaustion? Just think, can we, "ordinary" individuals cope with all that just to meet this crazy norm? Who even says what's beautiful?
While I was writing this, by coincidence my husband mentioned about the new regulation in France on hiring models for the fashion industry. He didn't know that I was writing this blog. At the same time, there was this fashion show on TV and he said:
"Look, the model is not so thin", and I saw what he was talking about. So I googled the topic and learned that just recently the French government has intervened in this criteria, so much so that they put a minimum weight for models relative to their height. Then some countries in Europe adopted the policy as well. Click the link below to know more about it.
The majority of us are often misled what is truly beautiful; thinking that a perfect figure with finely sculptured face is the "look" that we covet to posses. I myself has not been immune to that belief earlier; having also spent thousands for all the hot or cold "wraps", to lose "inches" all over; I patiently spent time endlessly connected to machines that does its work for the same purpose. I also tried almost every diet that experts claim to be the most effective.
But then, when I turned 60, my consideration changed. To maintain a diet and regular exercise is no longer about vanity but on a higher plane; ultimately it is all for health and well-being. Nowadays, I'm done with punishing routines to remove excess, and turned to exercise that could easily weave into my daily life; something that doesn't take much will-power but something really enjoyable. I like the feeling right after an hour walk, it is truly rewarding. Regards my diet, I can still eat what I like but common sense now dictates what I put in my mouth.
Regardless our age, most of us are still trying to come to terms with beauty standards, we still compare ourselves to the "ideal" projected in media because comparison is the only standard we know. But then, John Kenneth Galbraith says:
"There is no absolute standard of Beauty, that precisely is why its pursuit is so interesting"
Why can't we see the beauty in a big girl with a flawless skin; someone with an angelic face as well as a beguiling smile? Or a wise "old man" with his maturity and wisdom regardless of his white hair and wrinkled face? Why can't we recognize an ordinary looking girl with a smooth and glossy hair and perfectly-white-as-pearls teeth? Why can't we look into the eyes of a friend and appreciate her sincerity and loyalty?
My doctor, an Iridologist doesn't want me to lose weight.
"You will look old and haggard", he says. Whenever he looks into my eye through his high-powered lense, he says that my organs are healthy and doing fine. My chiropractor on the other hand says he will pay 10 million dollars to have my almost perfect spinal column. True or not, it's really the way I want to look at it; I learned that acceptance of what is there is the secret to be happy.
So, why don't we ditch the so-called standard and have some fun; accept what's been given and look for our place in this ever-shifting realms of style and beauty.
What do you say?
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