Meeting An Old Friend After A Long Time Feels Like Nothing Has Changed.

Len is a very interesting friend on Facebook.  In fact, we had more interaction here than we ever did personally way back when we were graders; at least that's what I remember, unless she'll say otherwise.   

I've wondered earlier whether we would be awkward since we haven't seen each other in over 40 years; besides I really didn't know her that well, especially as an adult.  Actually my contemporary and childhood best friend is her older sister, Eve.  Our families were very close though, my Dad and hers were best friends that's why I wanted very much to reconnect with them. 

Their home is one of the most wholesome and interesting places I'd known while I was growing up.  There are six sisters and two brothers and their Mom was a very charming lady who stayed at home and sews a lot.  So, these girls always wore pretty dresses, though my dresses were bought at Cinderella, I still envied them. 

Every so often, before or after school, I'd go to their place, often with the gang.  Her parents are very generous, they'll let everyone climb their guava trees and get all the yummy fruits we can pick and carry.   We would come down from the trees with our pockets bulging and often overflowing with guavas.  Under the trees were swings that we also enjoyed. 

Their dad was a lawyer who worked as a consul and eventually was assigned in New York.  Eventually,  he moved the whole family over there for good; and I haven't seen them since.  The girls worked there after college and settled in the US permanently. 

"We will be coming home for a visit sometime soon", Len mentioned on Facebook.

"That's great news, come meet me so we can catch up", I replied. 

"Yes, I'll surely come looking for you", she post back. 

Finally last week, she confirmed the date for us to meet up.  

"I hope you'll consider coming over for breakfast, brunch or lunch here at home", I post.  "It would be great to get to know your husband as well".  Unfortunately, he had some real estate matters to attend to.

"I'd love to have lunch with you if I may?, she replied. "Is there anything you want from here?, she asked.

"Thanks for asking, but I'm good. No need to bring anything, I just want to see you", I replied.  

But she still brought some stuffs for me.  You  have to know the "culture" of my town mates, and most Filipinos in general; bringing something for friends back home is a tradition.  In fact, they say that Filipinos even have a term for that, "pasalubong", which doesn't have a one-word translation in English, it means  "something to bring home as a gift"  for those you are going to visit. 

We got her from her cousin's and brought her to our home, we took pictures, she said she will show them to her sisters. 

I could have easily cooked our lunch, in fact, I have all the ingredients ready but since the temperature is 40 degrees, it's too hot to cook and she may be uncomfortable as well since only our bedrooms are air conditioned. 

Here we are at Le Petite Cherie, having lunch.

It took us quite awhile to finish lunch, there's just too much to talk about, remembering friends and town mates, where they are now and who married who, while my husband patiently listened and tried to be part of the conversation. 

The encounter seemed too short, she has a month left of her vacation but it has been planned out well.  They would be island hopping in the south of the archipelago with friends to enjoy nature and the beaches. So we agreed to meet again next year when she'll come back here with her sisters. 

Thanks for the visit Len, enjoy the rest of your vacation and see you again soon. 

The Epitome Of Beauty

"If eyes were made for seeing, then beauty is its own excuse for being." ----Ralph Waldo Emerson. 

You may wonder why I now focus on such a big subject as "beauty", a "big deal" to many and a "huge deal" to a few.  

I guess this was inspired by two things; the latest love song,

"crazy beautiful" of David Pomeranz, and a local movie,

"crazy beautiful you" that was showing at the mall recently. 

"beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"

I've often wondered who said this quote first. 

So I googled and I initially got this funny answer:

"Maybe the one who said that has an ugly partner", 

and I couldn't stop laughing.  

Shakespeare likewise was mentioned believing in the saying, having quoted the same thing in so many words.  Then I happened along this phrase finder link and got my answer.  Click the link to find out. 

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder.html

So, what about you, do you believe that 

"beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"?  

I myself believe it's true; someone even said that:

"Beauty is not real, it only exist in perception".

Proof?  Look around and see couples whose partners are the unlikely choices if we go by the common standard; that is, their physical appearance should compliment or match each other well; tall people should get partners approximately their size; a handsome guy looking like he came out of a GQ magazine page get as partner a Victoria Secret Angel; or someone as good looking as he is. 

But what do we see?  

In our village alone, I often see this very tall and lanky guy who jogs with this average-height woman whose head doesn't even reach his chest.  Then there's this very handsome, really attractive guy who is head-over-heels with a double-plus-size woman; not that I don't believe this big lady deserves this gorgeous guy as her partner.  What I'm just trying to say is that there must be other elements in the attraction that is beyond the physical.  

Of course!  Why do CEOs seem to get all the attention from the ladies?  Is it his money?  But then, why do very rich girls probably far richer than them are attracted as well; they even go to certain extents to outdo other ladies for their attention.  Is it the power that they represent or the confidence that they exude?

Then again some CEOs are neither young nor handsome, some are old, short and bald with bulging beer-bellies yet attractive nonetheless;  so what is it?  Could it be their charisma for one, wisdom and maturity another, or that and self-assurance all rolled into one?  After all, isn't it true that "we create what we project", no matter how we look, how much money we have or power we weild.

Then there's the beauty standard of the entertainment industry and the fashion world; a criteria that seem impossible to achieve for ordinary people like the majority; unless one practically stops eating to keep a Barbie-doll figure.  Do we really need to starve to look beautiful?  Many of us put ourselves down if we don't look like them and it makes us insecure and unhappy.  Do we need a flat belly or a perk nose to look and feel beautiful and happy?

Very often, we idolize celebrities or models who graze magazine covers.  But do we even understand how much air-brushing they go through just to have a flawless skin?  Do we know of the crazy diets they follow to a point of hunger so they can remain in the trend?  Do we count how many times they go under the knife?  And what about the fact that some have to deal with a relentless personal trainer who drive them to a point of drop-dead exhaustion?  Just think, can we, "ordinary" individuals cope with all that just to meet this crazy norm?  Who even says what's beautiful? 

While I was writing this, by coincidence my husband mentioned about the new regulation in France on hiring models for the fashion industry.  He didn't know that I was writing this blog.  At the same time, there was this fashion show on TV and he said: 

"Look, the model is not so thin", and I saw what he was talking about. So I googled the topic and learned that just recently the French government has intervened in this criteria, so much so that they put a minimum weight for models relative to their height. Then some countries in Europe adopted the policy as well. Click the link below to know more about it.  

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/03/france-models-body-mass-index_n_6999244.html

The majority of us are often misled what is truly beautiful; thinking that a perfect figure with finely sculptured face is the "look" that we covet to posses.   I myself has not been immune to that belief earlier; having also spent thousands for all the hot or cold "wraps", to lose "inches" all over; I patiently spent time endlessly connected to machines that does its work for the same purpose.  I also tried almost every diet that experts claim to be the most effective.

But then, when I turned 60, my consideration changed. To maintain a diet and regular exercise is no longer about vanity but on a higher plane; ultimately it is all for health and well-being.  Nowadays, I'm done with punishing routines to remove excess, and turned to exercise that could easily weave into my daily life; something that doesn't take much will-power but something really enjoyable.  I like the feeling right after an hour walk, it is truly rewarding.  Regards my diet, I can still eat what I like but common sense now dictates what I put in my mouth. 

Regardless our age, most of us are still trying to come to terms with beauty standards, we still compare ourselves to the "ideal" projected in media because comparison is the only standard we know.  But then, John Kenneth Galbraith says:

"There is no absolute standard of Beauty, that precisely is why its pursuit is so interesting"

Why can't we see the beauty in a big girl with a flawless skin; someone with an angelic face as well as a beguiling smile?  Or a wise "old man" with his maturity and wisdom regardless of his white hair and wrinkled face?  Why can't we  recognize an ordinary looking girl with a smooth and glossy hair and perfectly-white-as-pearls teeth?  Why can't we look into the eyes of a friend and appreciate her sincerity and loyalty? 

My doctor, an Iridologist doesn't want me to lose weight. 

"You will look old and haggard", he says.  Whenever he looks into my eye through his high-powered lense, he says that my organs are healthy and doing fine.  My chiropractor on the other hand says he will pay 10 million dollars to have my almost perfect spinal column.  True or not, it's really the way I want to look at it; I learned that acceptance of what is there is the secret to be happy. 

So, why don't we ditch the so-called standard and have some fun; accept what's been given and look for our place in this ever-shifting realms of style and beauty. 

What do you say?

My MOMGO (mung bean) Recipe

The mung bean, commonly called mongo in Asia is from the legume family.  It is rich in fiber, protein and potassium and some vitamins. This is how it looks like when the seeds are taken off from the pod. 

I thought I'd cook sautéed mongo this Holy Week.  It is a cheap viand and commonly paired with "daing na bangus", (boneless milkfish dredged in vinegar, salt, crushed garlic and ground pepper), then fried.

One Monday morning, I was out of fresh veggies to cook for lunch, so I went to a veggie vendor at the corner looking for fresh leaves to add, malungay leaves or ampalaya (bitter gord leaves) is usually added. 

"What will you cook for lunch?", 

my nosy neighbor who happened along asked.  BTW, it is common for neighbors to ask what you'll be cooking, very personal, yes, but that's how it is, it's not unusual.  

"Oh, I run out of fresh veggies, so I thought I'd cook "ginisang mongo"(sautéed mongo)". I replied.

"Why are you out of schedule?  Isn't sautéed mongo served on Fridays together with fried milk fish?", she asked again. 

I just smiled, I didn't want to insult her by saying that I don't care about the schedule, I just wanted to cook mongo that day and who cares? 

But my neighbor is just being logical.   Yes, it true that Filipinos usually cook that on Fridays; I just don't know how the tradition started, but maybe because Filipinos abstain from meats on the Fridays of Lent, that's why this is a good meal for those days. 

My version of mongo recipe has a lot of veggies. 

Step 1-wash the mongo grains and soak in water overnight.

Step 2-boil in enough water, together with a  pandan leaf and crushed ginger until the grains burst open.   Crush the popped grains by pressing ladle along the sides of the cooking casserole to get a thick mixture. 

Step 3-sautee garlic, chopped onions, tomatoes.

Step4-add in the bell pepper, sliced zucchini (dredge in salt, then washed to remove the bitter juice, wash three times) 

Step 5-add chopped fresh oregano leaves, fresh tarragon and native jalapeño.

Step6-add the zucchini tops and young leaves and florets.  

Step7-put in two tablespoon of shrimp paste. Put in one tablespoon of Chinese cooking wine. 

Step 8-mix until the veggies wilt and add boiled mongo. 

Step 9-mix well, add fish sauce to your taste.

Step 10-sprinkle chopped cilantro and spring onions and serve.  Try it sometime.