My Resolve to Lead a Simple Life

You may call this a sequel to last my blog: "my journey on de cluttering". Cait Flanders in one of her "Blonde on a Budget" blogs said:

"I wasn't living an extravagant life style, I'm just consuming more than I needed".  

In a sense, we are like her, we also lead a simple lifestyle but we do have more stuff than we need, otherwise, why do we need a storage shed?

The idea of being a minimalist is becoming more popular nowadays, especially among the young.  Couples are more inclined to discard their stuff , we see people on tv decluttering to fit smaller homes, some even  move to a "tiny house".  However, it maybe more challenging for oldies like me to do that; our ways are set and we become more sentimental as with age; there's just too many memories attached to our belongings.

My attempt to discard stuff we don't need started when we moved to a new home.  After seeing the enormity of our material possessions it got me thinking that I had more than I needed and that stopped me from buying things. This was a wake up call that stuck with me this passed year, otherwise, I would have continued buying stuff to this day. 

Isn't it a blessing in disguise then that circumstances led me to realize that owning too much is robbing me of time better spent doing things that matter most; focusing on this so-called "business of living", making my life happier and more productive?   At some point don't we all want to declutter for a simpler life but we just don't know how?   I consider myself lucky that I finally got started. 

I felt better after disposing a good bulk of our stuff, in my mind I saw order, I felt that everything is more organized without the need to cramped as much objects as I can in a limited storage space.  This encouraged me to continue decluttering.

Looking back, I have been oblivious to my surroundings, I should have learned from my children earlier on.  Now I have a flashback of my son opening his mail, crumples what's not important and throws them in the waste can.  When he moved to his own home, he would often bring a bag of stuff he doesn't want, paperbacks he has read, little things he got as gifts that are not useful to him.  I remembered catching them all and putting them away on cabinets and shelves; little did I realize that he learned early.

My younger daughter is an advocate of minimalism.  I think she also learned the hard way.  When she was single her shoes were in their original boxes piled one on top of another more than a meter high, occupying an entire wall of her room.  When my 6-year-old granddaughter visited, she was over-whelmed. 

"Wow, you have lots of shoes. May I see your clothes?". When she opened the  cabinet she got another surprise when some clothes fell off. 

After she got married she and her husband must have pledged to start being minimalists.   Would you believe that they bought their dinner set one piece at a time?  Yes, they didn't get the whole set at once. And this is also true with pots and pans.

"It's a good thing that I can buy Corelle one piece at a time", she happily told me.  

When they learned that my husband and I were visiting, they bought another pair of dining chairs.  She even sent me a picture of the new acquisition and I joked back: 

"So now Dad and I can sit as well".  "Yes!", she replied.  We brought them peanuts among other local delicacies and only then did they buy a mason jar to store it. 

We sat on a couch in front of the tv in the living room and she sat on a kitchen ladder while entertaining us. My son-in-law sat in the dining area.  A week after we left, they got an armchair for the living room.  Do you see that they won't buy anything unless they see the need? They only buy kitchen equipment after serious discernment regards its use and only if they have a space for it in their two-bedroom condo. 

Not to be out-done, my older daughter has always sorted her stuff and like my son, she would also bring stuff home to give away.  Lately though, she has been more determined that she doesn't  miss a thing.  She started with her clothes, then kitchenware and lately she had me sell her daughter's toys; barbie dolls, sets of Polly  pocket, girlie vanity items and out-grown clothes at my store.   The bigger and more expensive stuff were sold on line.  

From her daughter's stuff, she now has a budget to renovate her daughter's room and buy furniture to suit a teenager.  Not that she wouldn't spend out-of-the-pocket money for that, but isn't it a good thing that she got back enough from old stuff to do this?  

In all my earnestness to pursue this endeavor, I have to be honest, I have one dilemma.  My husband disposes his personal stuff sparingly.  He has four golf sets complete in their bags.  Don't you think they are bulky?  One entire wall in the storage shed is a two-tier rack where his coats, jackets and shirts are hang in addition to those in his closet inside the house.   I can't dispose his clothes and his personal effects. I'm just glad he trusts me to take charge of the kitchen items. 

The idea of being a minimalist does not only clear our space with much clutter, it also allows us to focus on what is really important.  It saves us money too because we realize that we  don't need another item to bring home.  Last Christmas, I avoided the bazaars; during my last trip to Singapore, I only went to the mall once and didn't buy anything but food for family back home. But early, early on, before all this decluttering matter, we went to Europe and  I bought souvenirs from every city we visited, but I say" never again", I promise!

My Decluttering Journey

It's been a blissful year; this month we celebrate our first year anniversary in this new home.  Happy memories of get-togethers with family and friends abound; we didn't encounter any negative vibes here, everything is just wonderful.  

Since this time also marks the start of my journey in disposing the "excesses" of "worldly possessions", I'm here to rehash and share with you how I was able to declutter. 

 I started to sort our stuff when I was packing up prior to our move to the new home.  I was over-whelmed at the enormity of the things I had to pack, I didn't realize that we accumulated so much in all these years especially the kitchen effects. 

"What do you expect?":

I asked myself, then I realized that earlier on when we were both working, we hosted lots of parties that I wanted to have "all the works".  Add the gifts I got on our silver wedding anniversary and those on birthdays and Christmases so they really added up. 

As I tried to take photos of each one that were stored under the big island and kitchen cupboards thinking to email them to my children to choose from; I saw items I didn't even remember I had; some still in gift wrap; dinner sets, all kinds of glasses and mugs, trays, bowls and platters galore!  I had two sets of punch bowls with hooks to hang the cups around; two sets of silver coffee/tea sets, cups and saucers and lots of serving paraphernalia.   

Initially, I was hoping that my children would want some of our stuff but then two of them live abroad so I realized that even if they wanted too, it's more practical for them to buy where they are.

"I just want my Tonka toys", my son said. 

So I boxed up his red tractor, the blue and white hauling truck, the yellow bulldozer and the blue dump truck. 

My younger daughter who also lives abroad indicated she wanted the big 1954 poster of the 2nd Marian Congress in the Philippines that my Papa framed in heavy narra; plus a mother-and-child pastel painting of a Filipino artist, Tagle.  Since then, she has been home thrice but she only took home a crystal vase and a set of antique silver cake server.  Nevertheless, I'll keep those two for her. 

 

My older daughter who lives in town still has her wedding presents intact in boxes after eleven years.  She only got a Pyrex loaf pan, a crystal bowl and a round serving platter.   What am I to do with the rest?  I gave my brother wine glasses and I asked a niece, whose house is being constructed and she only wanted a set of brandy glasses.  

"I'll look into your frames when my house is done, Ninang", she said. 

We had boxes and boxes of books, hard bound and paperbacks alike, magazines too.    Before the advent of the iPad, I bought at least three paperbacks a week and my husband at least one bestseller a week since he watches TV more often than I do.  I donated to a remote barrio educational books, children's books, a set of children's classics and a set of old encyclopedia for their school library.  The remaining books for reading entertainment and the magazines were marked for sale. 

I was lucky to have the luxury of time in sorting our belongings before we sold the house.   I followed the traditional three boxes for "keep", "donate" and "dispose".  It was easy to do this with my clothes.  For kitchen items and house decor, I also had three groups: "keep", "retain while I think about it" and "dispose". 

Fortunately, I operate a retail store so all the items to "dispose" ended at the store for sale. I was surprised that they went fast,  in six months most of the items were sold out including a sala set, and an office swivel chair.  We had to give away to a neighbor one sala set.  I brought the "donate" items to our parish office that took care of distributing them.

My biggest challenge was my younger daughter's stuff in her former room untouched since she went to work abroad.   In spite instructions from her, I still needed my best judgement in sorting them; it's difficult to sort things that aren't yours.  I was deludge in her mountain of clothes; fortunately  her sister knows her stuff well and that helped me decide which ones to keep.   Her albums occupied an entire row of a cabinet so I let someone detached the pictures to fit into three one-foot cube boxes. 

Although my older daughter got all her clothes when she got married, the space vacated were occupied by baby stuff of my granddaughter. Sorting this was simpler since she was there to do it, still it took us three sittings.  

Right after our move, my younger daughter sent me the Marie Kondo ebook:  "The Life-changing Magic of Tidying-up".  

To this day, I still refer to it.   She also sent me the link on becoming a minimalist.  As I continue to trim down our stuff, I still review the minimalist blogs.  When I discard a piece of clothing, a home decor or a dish nowadays, doing so gives me a good feeling that I can't quite explain, a sense of calm and serenity as well as relief are words that come close but doesn't fully describe it. 

In retrospect, I'm proud to say that my de-cluttering journey didn't  bring me difficult emotions or any mental "tag-of-war" whether to keep or discard something.  However when I sorted two shoe boxes of greeting cards I saved before the digital age , I cried and didn't have the heart to throw away any of them.  I guess it was the sentimental thoughts and loving greetings that made them so previous.  I saved them all!

Avocado-Mango-Chicken Salad Wrap

Today I got inspired by the avocado chicken salad wrap of Jen Nikolaus, a recipe blogger and photographer of yummyhealthyeasy.com.  This recipe was posted by my college BFF, Bee on Facebook which I found interesting that I wanted to try it. 

Everyday recently, I've been searching for food that is light, something  right for these hot summer days. I got the hint from my husband who mentioned recently that the Japanese has a menu for every season.   I thought that this avocado-chicken salad wrap will go well with the calamari that my granddaughter requested. 

These are the basic ingredients.

I chopped the celery, onions and grapes and sliced the avocado

Mashed avocado mixed with Greek yogurt, chopped ingredients, salt and garlic powder.  The recipe called for lime but I didn't  have that, so I used lemon.  The weather is already hot as it is so I didn't put curry powder anymore which the recipe indicated as optional.

Oops! Sorry that I missed to take a picture of the shredded chicken breast that was also added into the mix. 

 

I prepared the slices of avocado and oh yes, ripe mango; it's not in the recipe but I couldn't help adding it at the last minute. Mango definitely made the wrap more interesting and tasty. 

Mixed filling topped with slices of avocado and mango on the tortilla wrap ready to roll.

 

I sliced each roll into three.

Our lunch today. 

I found this wrap very filling, I was able to eat two slices.  

Reflections On Getting Older

"Growing old beats the alternative--- dying young"-------Regina Brent

Getting older is getting better?

Like wine, they say.  At least we get wiser with age; with experience, it is easier to learn new things and to understand human nature; we also mellow with age: we become more understanding, patient and tolerant.  But to live a full life we have to be physically independent with all our faculties intact.  Doing physical and mental exercises will prolong the inevitable. 

Almost everyone in my generation is turning 70, oh my, isn't my anxiety growing by the minute?  Every time we hear a text alert from friends, there is that apprehension that it's bad news.  Either one is very sick or had left us. 

Last Sunday we attended another 70th birthday party;  a surprise party actually that the son of the celebrant from the US had to stay in his sister's house for three days to add drama to the surprise.  Oh well, the celebrant was indeed surprised that he had tears of joy.   But I for one don't appreciate this kind of surprise, I'd rather spend the time bonding with my children. To borrow a phrase from a famous game show: A Minute to Win It,  I'd say that 

"every second counts", especially at our age. 

Nevertheless, it was a happy event and like any other 70th-and-beyond birthdays, the celebrant spoke of how lucky he is to reach this age and to celebrate this milestone with family and the dearest and closest of friends. 

Socializing keeps  people alive; for seniors who stay home a lot, meeting up with friends break the monotony of routine; that's why I was not surprised to see the big turn out of guests, there were more than a hundred.  I asked the celebrant's spouse how she gathered quite a crowd specially that she had to keep it secret from her husband and she said that some invitees were recommended by friends she invited. 

After the hellos and the how-are-you's, "how are the kids" comes next.  This is when parents would share their children's achievement and before you know it, they will be showing pictures of grandchildren on their iPhones.  But without grandchildren, you'd feel a bit inadequate and hope no one will ask.  After a long absence we find that some friends haven't changed while others are not so lucky I could hardly recognize them. Oh yes, life can be unfair sometimes. 

When we attend parties, my husband and I don't usually stick together all the time so we are able to social and catch up with as many friends as possible.  That being so, we have different stories to tell each other when we rehash  the party afterwards. 

When I texted my older daughter to let her know that we're back home safe at around 10 pm, she replied:

"Oh, you're home early"

"It's mostly a seniors' party", I replied.  

 Except for the 6 grandchildren of the celebrant and a sprinkling of younger ones, the guests went home shortly after dinner; they didn't even stay for coffee.  In fact we were among the last to leave, we lingered a bit longer catching up with a few close friends. 

As we age, we begin to understand, (though many have realized this sooner), that in the end, what only matters is the family and true friends; not our wealth nor our professional achievements.  Here's an excerpt of the famous last words of Steve Job that aptly describes this realization:

"I have reached the pinnacle of success in the business world, in others' eyes my life is the epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. There should be something more important. 

The wealth I have won, I cannot bring with me, only the memories precipitated by love.  That's the true riches that will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength to go on. 

Treasure love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends, cherish others."

Here's another point of reflection from a Facebook post of a dear friend Nina, who I know have so much faith:

"Bless this Sunday, our bonding time with the family.  Sometimes we feel as though life is slipping away from us, and the passage of time fill us with super anxiety.  These feelings are natural and normal, though I know that our hearts are made for eternity.  When anxious thoughts oppress us, God will always be there for us."

And I made this comment:

"The anxiety there is loud and clear and like you, I know it's but normal.  I accept that we all have to go sometime; so I try to "live each day like it is my last, and learn like I'll live forever". 

In the meantime, I'm enjoying life, like Hemingway said: 

"it's the journey that matters", so lets keep on going as long as we can.  In life however, this journey determines the destination and lest we forget, this destination is forever. 

"When In Doubt, Put Ice, says my Chiropractor

Yes, docMike's blog of the Mabuhay Chiropractic Clinic says to "ice it" when you have pain due to swelling or inflammation; never hot compress since that will enhance further swelling.

I went to the clinic again this week due to my knee pain.  I presumed my problem recurred after I was adjusted by doc Storm a year ago.  Unfortunately, he is now attending to patients in a further clinic, but fortunately,  I finally got to meet and was attended to by the clinic owner himself, Dr. Michel Yves Tetrault, who graduated summa cum laude, Doctor of chiropractic in America. He also represents the chiropractic community in Asia. 

He welcomed me with a smile and as soon as I sat, he started a preliminary talk about causes of pain and how chiropractic can help.

"Oh, I'm a believer", I said, "and that includes my family, after all, your first patient was my husband who was relieved from an excruciating neck pain; I even have a blog about my first chiropractic experience".  In fact I had also referred relatives and friends from abroad and he recalled my BFF from Las Vegas whom he attended to personally.  

To digress a bit, I greeted this BFF on Facebook on her birthday:

"Happy birthday, BEE!  it's never to late to follow your passions and chase your dreams". And she replied:

"Thanks, but you know girl, at our age, we can't just escape some aches and pains", to which I replied:

"I have no physical aches and pains, I have a great doctor, a iridologist as well as a good chiropractor.  Why don't I bring you to them when you come visit, can't let my BFF suffer", I said. 

My husband and I brought her to both clinics and after a session she had to go back home so she was referred to a chiropractor in Las Vegas to continue adjustments.

Back to my knee pain...

"I had this problem last year after a fall which caused a big swell on my left knee.  I was adjusted by doc Storm and it never bothered me again until now", I told him. 

"Let's take a look, lie on your back", he said indicating the examination table.  He tested the flexibility of my knee, bending it in all directions; surprisingly I didn't feel any pain. He then went through the motions of checking and adjusting my back, my hips and my neck.  I felt more relaxed right after I heard that mild cracking sound as pressure was applied on my back, but the loudest crackle was when he turned my neck to the left.  

"Do you favor sleeping on your left side?", 

"Yes", I replied

"Try to balance sleeping on both sides", he said.  I understood what he meant since I heard most of the crackle coming from my left side during adjustment. 

As for my knee, he found nothing serious, not even medium serious but small serious that shouldn't be ignored for there is swelling of a pulled/strained ligament.  

"There is no quick fix, just apply ice for 20 minutes twice a day for two weeks; and read my blog about knee care", he said. 

I am already feeling the relief tonight, my second day, after my forth session of ice compress.  I use an ice bag, generously filled with ice that I lodge on top of my knee like a crown so my entire knee is fully covered. 

So, should you feel pain due to swelling or inflammation, doc Mike says:  hid "the first aide rule....use ice!".

My Version of Bruschetta

Today, my eldest niece and sister-in-law came for a visit. Instead of serving just toasted bread along with sun-dried tomato pesto pasta and roast beef, I thought I'd make bruschetta.  To be honest, I love bruschetta too and I felt like eating some. 

Here's how I did it.

Wash and cut a shallow cross on the bottom of each tomato, like in the picture below:

Boil water, remove from heat and put in the tomatoes.  Let it stay for a few minutes, then remove from water. 

Notice that the peel is starting to separate, peel when it's cold enough to handle. 

Cut the tomatoes into half; and use your thumb to push out the seeds.

Chop seeded tomatoes

Drain to remove excess tomato juice. 

Mix in  several leaves of chopped fresh basil and fresh tarragon  together with the following:

1 tbsp olive oil

1 tsp balsamic vinegar

1 tsp salt

1 clove minced garlic

1/2 tsp ground pepper

Set aside, ok to put in refrigerator to chill. 

Slice fresh ciabatta into three, then cut each slice horizontally into two. 

Brush olive oil on one side and toast in oven until crunchy and brown on the edges. 

You can then spread over the tomato mixture or serve in a bowl and let guests spread the tomato mixture on their own ciabatta themselves. 

Goodbye Old House; Hello New Home!

                                      Our Old House

"It's over" , my husband said when I got home after I turned over our former home to the new owner.

"No regrets", I silently told myself.  "The house is just a shell now.  It's a blessing in disguise actually; we are in a better place".

Earlier at dawn, over coffee before my morning walk, I tried to look deep in my heart about letting go of our house of 38 years.  I knew that I'm giving up the house today. 

"How do you feel about this?"

I asked myself;  I was surprised that I had no qualms going about it.  In fact, while I was driving over to the house later, it  even occurred to me that the buyer may back out after the deal has been sealed;  that got me a bit worried there. 

Two days ago when I iMessage my younger daughter that we were about to turn over the house, she asked:

"How do you and dad feel?"

I guessed that she was a bit concerned and she wanted to know whether we still hold the same sentiments about the house; and if that was so, I assumed that she wanted to help us make things a bit easier; a little moral support maybe, like comforting words that: 

"everything will be fine, you'll see".  

She and her siblings know that we planned to stay in that house forever until circumstances made us move out. 

"After everything that happened,  and after we removed our valuable stuff; it became just a house, besides the village is too busy now so 'there's no love lost' ", I sent back. 

"I agree", she replied with a smile. 

And it's true; actually I'm also surprised that letting go was that easy.  

In the process of packing up our belongings some months ago,  I was filled with a deep sadness, I was crying, emotions and disbelief consumed me, I almost couldn't breathe.  For days, I was moving around on autopilot, often feeling sorry for myself;  I couldn't fathom why we had to move out of that house.  But I had to accept the situation, 

"My Lord", I prayed, "if this is Your will, so be it; I believe that Your plans are better than our dreams".

Eventually, we were out of the storm, able to see the rainbow, and found our way back to normal again.  Looking back, I know that it was the constant love and unconditional support of our children that got us through.  Getting settled and fixing the new home was the exact therapy that consoled us, a distraction that helped us get on with our lives.  

Today, when I turned over our former home, I thought that it would be a difficult and sad day for me; on the contrary I felt relieved.   Was looking after the house a burden especially that we now live in another place quite farther away?  Is it about leaving behind the baggage of our earlier lives?  Is it because we believe that when a door closes, another will be opened?   I think it's all of the above and more. 

When I handed over the keys, I said to the new owner: 

"Please take care of this house, it has served us well".  

And to the house I said a silent: 

"Thank you for providing a haven for our family".

I wont deny that we had been happy there regardless life's ups and downs; we have lots of great memories especially in the early days when our children were very young and most especially these last ten years.  Now that they are all grown up, having their own families, I can still keep the memories, sans the house.  

As my older daughter said:

"Mom, we can make lots of new memories in your new home."  

And I believe her.  For the last nine months, we already spent happy times here, there was my 70th birthday in July when all my children and their families were here, then last Christmas was one of the best Christmases I ever had.  So, yes!  We started making great memories again. 

We are happy in this new home, everyday after a whole morning at my store, oftentimes tired and hungry, I feel invigorated as soon as I enter the village gate; a sense of peace and serenity never fail to engulf me. 

The "icing of the cake" is our edible backyard garden.  It is something that we wanted for the longest time.  It has become our preoccupation, giving us so much joy and peace and renewed energy.  Growing old here will be great. 

Hello new home!