Reflections On Getting Older

"Growing old beats the alternative--- dying young"-------Regina Brent

Getting older is getting better?

Like wine, they say.  At least we get wiser with age; with experience, it is easier to learn new things and to understand human nature; we also mellow with age: we become more understanding, patient and tolerant.  But to live a full life we have to be physically independent with all our faculties intact.  Doing physical and mental exercises will prolong the inevitable. 

Almost everyone in my generation is turning 70, oh my, isn't my anxiety growing by the minute?  Every time we hear a text alert from friends, there is that apprehension that it's bad news.  Either one is very sick or had left us. 

Last Sunday we attended another 70th birthday party;  a surprise party actually that the son of the celebrant from the US had to stay in his sister's house for three days to add drama to the surprise.  Oh well, the celebrant was indeed surprised that he had tears of joy.   But I for one don't appreciate this kind of surprise, I'd rather spend the time bonding with my children. To borrow a phrase from a famous game show: A Minute to Win It,  I'd say that 

"every second counts", especially at our age. 

Nevertheless, it was a happy event and like any other 70th-and-beyond birthdays, the celebrant spoke of how lucky he is to reach this age and to celebrate this milestone with family and the dearest and closest of friends. 

Socializing keeps  people alive; for seniors who stay home a lot, meeting up with friends break the monotony of routine; that's why I was not surprised to see the big turn out of guests, there were more than a hundred.  I asked the celebrant's spouse how she gathered quite a crowd specially that she had to keep it secret from her husband and she said that some invitees were recommended by friends she invited. 

After the hellos and the how-are-you's, "how are the kids" comes next.  This is when parents would share their children's achievement and before you know it, they will be showing pictures of grandchildren on their iPhones.  But without grandchildren, you'd feel a bit inadequate and hope no one will ask.  After a long absence we find that some friends haven't changed while others are not so lucky I could hardly recognize them. Oh yes, life can be unfair sometimes. 

When we attend parties, my husband and I don't usually stick together all the time so we are able to social and catch up with as many friends as possible.  That being so, we have different stories to tell each other when we rehash  the party afterwards. 

When I texted my older daughter to let her know that we're back home safe at around 10 pm, she replied:

"Oh, you're home early"

"It's mostly a seniors' party", I replied.  

 Except for the 6 grandchildren of the celebrant and a sprinkling of younger ones, the guests went home shortly after dinner; they didn't even stay for coffee.  In fact we were among the last to leave, we lingered a bit longer catching up with a few close friends. 

As we age, we begin to understand, (though many have realized this sooner), that in the end, what only matters is the family and true friends; not our wealth nor our professional achievements.  Here's an excerpt of the famous last words of Steve Job that aptly describes this realization:

"I have reached the pinnacle of success in the business world, in others' eyes my life is the epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. There should be something more important. 

The wealth I have won, I cannot bring with me, only the memories precipitated by love.  That's the true riches that will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength to go on. 

Treasure love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends, cherish others."

Here's another point of reflection from a Facebook post of a dear friend Nina, who I know have so much faith:

"Bless this Sunday, our bonding time with the family.  Sometimes we feel as though life is slipping away from us, and the passage of time fill us with super anxiety.  These feelings are natural and normal, though I know that our hearts are made for eternity.  When anxious thoughts oppress us, God will always be there for us."

And I made this comment:

"The anxiety there is loud and clear and like you, I know it's but normal.  I accept that we all have to go sometime; so I try to "live each day like it is my last, and learn like I'll live forever". 

In the meantime, I'm enjoying life, like Hemingway said: 

"it's the journey that matters", so lets keep on going as long as we can.  In life however, this journey determines the destination and lest we forget, this destination is forever. 

"When In Doubt, Put Ice, says my Chiropractor

Yes, docMike's blog of the Mabuhay Chiropractic Clinic says to "ice it" when you have pain due to swelling or inflammation; never hot compress since that will enhance further swelling.

I went to the clinic again this week due to my knee pain.  I presumed my problem recurred after I was adjusted by doc Storm a year ago.  Unfortunately, he is now attending to patients in a further clinic, but fortunately,  I finally got to meet and was attended to by the clinic owner himself, Dr. Michel Yves Tetrault, who graduated summa cum laude, Doctor of chiropractic in America. He also represents the chiropractic community in Asia. 

He welcomed me with a smile and as soon as I sat, he started a preliminary talk about causes of pain and how chiropractic can help.

"Oh, I'm a believer", I said, "and that includes my family, after all, your first patient was my husband who was relieved from an excruciating neck pain; I even have a blog about my first chiropractic experience".  In fact I had also referred relatives and friends from abroad and he recalled my BFF from Las Vegas whom he attended to personally.  

To digress a bit, I greeted this BFF on Facebook on her birthday:

"Happy birthday, BEE!  it's never to late to follow your passions and chase your dreams". And she replied:

"Thanks, but you know girl, at our age, we can't just escape some aches and pains", to which I replied:

"I have no physical aches and pains, I have a great doctor, a iridologist as well as a good chiropractor.  Why don't I bring you to them when you come visit, can't let my BFF suffer", I said. 

My husband and I brought her to both clinics and after a session she had to go back home so she was referred to a chiropractor in Las Vegas to continue adjustments.

Back to my knee pain...

"I had this problem last year after a fall which caused a big swell on my left knee.  I was adjusted by doc Storm and it never bothered me again until now", I told him. 

"Let's take a look, lie on your back", he said indicating the examination table.  He tested the flexibility of my knee, bending it in all directions; surprisingly I didn't feel any pain. He then went through the motions of checking and adjusting my back, my hips and my neck.  I felt more relaxed right after I heard that mild cracking sound as pressure was applied on my back, but the loudest crackle was when he turned my neck to the left.  

"Do you favor sleeping on your left side?", 

"Yes", I replied

"Try to balance sleeping on both sides", he said.  I understood what he meant since I heard most of the crackle coming from my left side during adjustment. 

As for my knee, he found nothing serious, not even medium serious but small serious that shouldn't be ignored for there is swelling of a pulled/strained ligament.  

"There is no quick fix, just apply ice for 20 minutes twice a day for two weeks; and read my blog about knee care", he said. 

I am already feeling the relief tonight, my second day, after my forth session of ice compress.  I use an ice bag, generously filled with ice that I lodge on top of my knee like a crown so my entire knee is fully covered. 

So, should you feel pain due to swelling or inflammation, doc Mike says:  hid "the first aide rule....use ice!".

My Version of Bruschetta

Today, my eldest niece and sister-in-law came for a visit. Instead of serving just toasted bread along with sun-dried tomato pesto pasta and roast beef, I thought I'd make bruschetta.  To be honest, I love bruschetta too and I felt like eating some. 

Here's how I did it.

Wash and cut a shallow cross on the bottom of each tomato, like in the picture below:

Boil water, remove from heat and put in the tomatoes.  Let it stay for a few minutes, then remove from water. 

Notice that the peel is starting to separate, peel when it's cold enough to handle. 

Cut the tomatoes into half; and use your thumb to push out the seeds.

Chop seeded tomatoes

Drain to remove excess tomato juice. 

Mix in  several leaves of chopped fresh basil and fresh tarragon  together with the following:

1 tbsp olive oil

1 tsp balsamic vinegar

1 tsp salt

1 clove minced garlic

1/2 tsp ground pepper

Set aside, ok to put in refrigerator to chill. 

Slice fresh ciabatta into three, then cut each slice horizontally into two. 

Brush olive oil on one side and toast in oven until crunchy and brown on the edges. 

You can then spread over the tomato mixture or serve in a bowl and let guests spread the tomato mixture on their own ciabatta themselves. 

Goodbye Old House; Hello New Home!

                                      Our Old House

"It's over" , my husband said when I got home after I turned over our former home to the new owner.

"No regrets", I silently told myself.  "The house is just a shell now.  It's a blessing in disguise actually; we are in a better place".

Earlier at dawn, over coffee before my morning walk, I tried to look deep in my heart about letting go of our house of 38 years.  I knew that I'm giving up the house today. 

"How do you feel about this?"

I asked myself;  I was surprised that I had no qualms going about it.  In fact, while I was driving over to the house later, it  even occurred to me that the buyer may back out after the deal has been sealed;  that got me a bit worried there. 

Two days ago when I iMessage my younger daughter that we were about to turn over the house, she asked:

"How do you and dad feel?"

I guessed that she was a bit concerned and she wanted to know whether we still hold the same sentiments about the house; and if that was so, I assumed that she wanted to help us make things a bit easier; a little moral support maybe, like comforting words that: 

"everything will be fine, you'll see".  

She and her siblings know that we planned to stay in that house forever until circumstances made us move out. 

"After everything that happened,  and after we removed our valuable stuff; it became just a house, besides the village is too busy now so 'there's no love lost' ", I sent back. 

"I agree", she replied with a smile. 

And it's true; actually I'm also surprised that letting go was that easy.  

In the process of packing up our belongings some months ago,  I was filled with a deep sadness, I was crying, emotions and disbelief consumed me, I almost couldn't breathe.  For days, I was moving around on autopilot, often feeling sorry for myself;  I couldn't fathom why we had to move out of that house.  But I had to accept the situation, 

"My Lord", I prayed, "if this is Your will, so be it; I believe that Your plans are better than our dreams".

Eventually, we were out of the storm, able to see the rainbow, and found our way back to normal again.  Looking back, I know that it was the constant love and unconditional support of our children that got us through.  Getting settled and fixing the new home was the exact therapy that consoled us, a distraction that helped us get on with our lives.  

Today, when I turned over our former home, I thought that it would be a difficult and sad day for me; on the contrary I felt relieved.   Was looking after the house a burden especially that we now live in another place quite farther away?  Is it about leaving behind the baggage of our earlier lives?  Is it because we believe that when a door closes, another will be opened?   I think it's all of the above and more. 

When I handed over the keys, I said to the new owner: 

"Please take care of this house, it has served us well".  

And to the house I said a silent: 

"Thank you for providing a haven for our family".

I wont deny that we had been happy there regardless life's ups and downs; we have lots of great memories especially in the early days when our children were very young and most especially these last ten years.  Now that they are all grown up, having their own families, I can still keep the memories, sans the house.  

As my older daughter said:

"Mom, we can make lots of new memories in your new home."  

And I believe her.  For the last nine months, we already spent happy times here, there was my 70th birthday in July when all my children and their families were here, then last Christmas was one of the best Christmases I ever had.  So, yes!  We started making great memories again. 

We are happy in this new home, everyday after a whole morning at my store, oftentimes tired and hungry, I feel invigorated as soon as I enter the village gate; a sense of peace and serenity never fail to engulf me. 

The "icing of the cake" is our edible backyard garden.  It is something that we wanted for the longest time.  It has become our preoccupation, giving us so much joy and peace and renewed energy.  Growing old here will be great. 

Hello new home!

One Of The Best Christmases Ever!

It's a rainy new year!

It looks gloomy and sad, it seems to tell me that the season's celebration is over.

My friend in Winnipeg who greeted me "happy  holidays" commented of Facebook:

"I enjoy reading your blogs, Rita, it is good food for our snow-affected thoughts";

Just like my friend who seemed okay with snow, the rain couldn't dampen my spirit as well, not after spending one of the best Christmases I ever had.   It was really great, but I also missed my younger daughter and her husband who couldn't come home for the holidays.  Had they been here, I'd say it would have been perfect.  But really; does "perfect" ever happen in this "vale of tears"? 

The weekend before Christmas

My celebration started with breakfast on Friday.  My son, who was here on business called:

"Mom, I'm free for breakfast, would you and dad like to come join me at Shangrila near my office?"  

He knows that we rarely go to the  city's business district since we can get everything we need in the malls around here at the south of the metro. 

"That is if you only like, have a change of scene.", my son continued. 

I looked at my husband who can hear the conversation on speaker phone and he nodded.

"Of course, we'd love too, and your sister here is free to join us", I replied. 

"And I won't go back home anymore, I'll wait for my family to join me here on Sunday night,  I'll spend the weekend with you until they get here", he said further.

We then had a sumptuous breakfast at Circles, one of Shangrila's restaurants.  But what I enjoyed more was catching up with our son and listening to him and our older daughter sparring jokes like they used to when they were younger. When my children get together and talk about things of days gone by,  I'm besieged with hundreds of long-ago memories that I always treasure.

Like most hotels, Shangrila had their lobby all dressed up for the holidays so we took pictures while waiting for my son to join us. 

We spent the whole weekend with our son, just talking, eating, reading and whatever we felt like doing.  Luckily, our older daughter was free to join us in most of our meals.  It rained the whole weekend but we enjoyed it nonetheless.  

 I asked what he wanted to eat, I know he is tired of hotel and airplane food,  he travels the world often and fly from one Asia-Pacific city to another almost week after week.  My husband and I gladly prepared the food he said he misses most. 

I know he is a very busy person and I wanted to know how he is coping. 

"Don't you ever get tired flying and getting bored as you wait for your flights?", I asked.

"No", he said, "I'm at the lounge doing my work".

"What?", I asked myself, "doesn't he ever stop working?"

We also had fun deciding what food to prepare for Christmas Eve;  we wanted something light since we have been eating much that weekend.  Besides, we do not believe in having a Christmas table over-flowing with food. 

"We must have a theme so it's easy to come up with a menu", my son said. 

We couldn't have lechon (roast pig), nor broiled tuna nor crabs; we already had those earlier. 

Definitely Filipino food was out.  Japanese food was an option but it was over-ruled.  We considered what my daughter-in-law likes since she is just about to join us.  We know that she loves Mexican food.  Everyone love tacos, so we had soft wrap and crunchy shells and corn chips.  We also dipped hard roll on callos and gambas  and included baked mussels and of course, the traditional Chinese ham and queso de bola.   Paella was too heavy, we decided to do that another day. 

What do most people say when things are great?   Ahh,

"if this is a dream, I hope I'll never wake up".  So if I was dreaming, I was glad nobody told me for I didn't want to wake up.  

........and time really flies when you're having fun... who knows when this will happen again?

My grandchildren 

When my grandson arrived, we were ready for him. We brought out toys my granddaughter had when she was younger.  My grandson latched on the toy car immediately even though it seemed too small for him; he has bigger rides back home, but I'm glad he liked it just the same.

Give children Lego and you'll never go wrong

Small cars to push seem interesting to them as well. 

Our grandson who is 20 months old recently joined a toddler class back home, having attended only five days so far, he is learning to interact with others, something he is not used to, being an only child.   He is reluctant to be carried by others.  But like the day we last saw him in November when we visited; he finally let me carry him to the car so these  pictures were possible. 

My granddaughter is alone as well but has always looked forward to bond with her cousin every chance she had.   Below are some pictures of them doing that familiar kindergarten song:

"My toes.......

......my knees.....

..my shoulders, my head".

And "high five", too.

I couldn't ask for anything better this Christmas; a well-spent holiday season, and I know I wasn't dreaming for I have all the pictures in my Dropbox and stored all the wonderful times in my memory playlist. 

 

What about you, did you have an amazing Christmas as well?  If you are in your golden years you'd appreciate Christmas like the way I've had; no glitter of tinsel nor nicely wrapped gifts nor the colorful fireworks on New Year's Eve  could compare. 

Happy new year!

The Rewards of Gardening

 It rained last night but now the sky is clear and the sun is shinning. The garden beckons me so I took my breakfast at the shaded area under the mango tree.  I felt the breeze and breathed in fresh air. 

The plots are newly planted. The left is planted with racket while the other has lettuce.  Up close on the big pot is a lemon tree with two fruits. 

 

There is a small table for my tray of oatmeal and green tea frap and my husband's coffee.  There are always two chairs on the shaded area, convenient for two people to converse; though now I'm alone, a good chance for deep contemplation.

But my train of thought was distracted by two birds hovering over the garden until finally one alighted on the tomato plot and the other on the aratilis tree.  I tried to take a shot but I missed them by two seconds. 

I am really amazed at the appeal  gardens have over people:  Whenever I post a picture of our garden or just a plant on Facebook, I get plenty of likes.  I think that appreciating a garden, a plant or a flower slow down people in this fast-paced digital world.  Maybe they get to realize for a minute that they must also take time "to smell the flowers" as it is often said. 

 My daughter's sister-in-law who is a nun came by just to see our garden, she got curious after she saw the picture of my granddaughter helping papa transplant beets seedlings.  A niece and a nephew who often see my posts on Facebook also want to visit.  My friends in America want to have a BBQ party in our garden when they come for a visit early next year. 

Bell pepper plot combined with sugar beets.  This picture was taken more than a month ago.  Now the pepper are bearing flowers. 

Gardening may not sound so much fun unless you are willing to take on the hard work and bear the backaches arising from constant squatting to tend to the plants.  Nevertheless, my husband and I are relentless, we enjoy gardening and welcome what it gives back; the fresh air, a lifestyle based on the rhythm of nature;  besides, harvesting is heaven. 

The appeal of the garden to me is not only for relaxation alone or just admiring the view; the better value I learned is the interaction with nature.  You have to get your hands dirty, touch the earth to really get the feel of it. This exercise makes me stay grounded, so to speak and keeps me "down to earth", literally and figuratively speaking. 

Somebody said that when people are in their golden years, they like to do and see familiar things especially those from childhood; a recall of the good old days.  Maybe that's why  I planted a sour sap tree in our garden. 

The aratilis tree will go down to give way to the sour sap once it will bear fruits and our granddaughter can see and taste what aratilis fruit is. 

 As a child, I used to climb our sour sap tree in our family home where my papa planted fruit trees in the backyard and ornamentals on the front lawn. I used to pick the ripe fruits and ate them up on the tree.  It was so much fun, it was my secret to-go place to be alone.  I don't recall what were my thoughts then but I felt good after I had my fill of the sweet and juicy, (sometimes crunchy if they're not so ripe) fruits. 

I wish that I could leave this legacy to my grandchildren, that of loving the earth and appreciating what it can give back just like my papa did; he didn't even say a word but in his gardening he was able to envived in me this way of life.  I also hope that one day my grandchildren can climb this sour sap tree that I planted. 

From further reading, I learned that one of the greatest and cheapest past time is gardening.   It is said that it enhances mental-health leading to a better perspective in almost everything and will possibly lead to a longer life.  Didn't I mentioned earlier that a lady in Singapore who was in depression found solace in gardening after she learned that she can grow plants? 

Try any form of gardening if you're not at it yet.  I promise it will give back full reward. 

 

 

Singapore in November

Last month's latest trip to Singapore was a welcome treat just like all our other visits; a great bonding time with our son as well as our younger daughter and their families. 

Infrastructures rise fast In Singapore, there's always a new place to see or to dine.  On our  first dinner, my son brought us downtown at Orchard Road to Jamie Oliver's restaurant.  

                                   Appetizers

Our children always ask us where we want to go whenever we're there. This time however we focused on gardens since our son knows that our current pre-occupation is our edible backyard garden.   He is one who always make  time to do what interest us, he nurtures our dreams and encourages us to do what makes us happy.  Our two daughters too, always introduce us to new things, new places to eat or to  visit.  They keep us updated thus making us stay "young" (at least at heart, if not physically). 

The very next day, he took a leave from work and brought us to HORTFARM.  

Here's s good view at the entrance. 

It was a big establishment of both edibles and ornamentals alike. Im happy that I was able to get ideas on garden sitting, something I could use to enhance  our small backyard garden.  Below are my favorites from the exhibit.  Again, this shows that nowadays many decorate the outdoors like they do the indoors. 

Later in the day and even the next morning my son was keen in bringing us yet to another farm, but my husband who knew me better than I know myself replied: 

"You know Mom wants to get ideas on how to make our backyard edible garden more interesting and she had seen some already". 

Instead we spent time with our grandson at the botanical garden where he ran around the wide open space of grass and later watched him play at the American club kids playroom. 

Our grandson with papa at the Botanical garden

At American club kiddie play area

We spent the last two days with our daughter and son-in-law.  Our daughter also took a day off from work to accompany us to get stuff to bring home.  They brought us to Pasarbella for lunch; it's a market, actually.  My daughter said that the set up is pretty much like the markets in Australia with food stalls and  fresh produce of fruits, veggies and home-made delicacies. That's where I saw the biggest paella pan ever. 

Afterwards, we hang out in their new condo where they recently moved to after two years from their first one.  My daughter is now into bread and pasta making and dinner that night was home-made pasta.

Drying home-made pasta for dinner. 

I woke up the next morning in their guest room, looked out and saw the tall trees reaching up to the 4th floor.  I turned off the air conditioner, opened the window, breathed in the fresh air while the breeze came in from the trees outside.  It felt great!

This picture was taken from my window. 

Finally on our last day before leaving for the airport, our grandson who only took to guys (except his Mom and his nanny) let me carry him.  Apparently, he wants to come along; knowing we're going on a plane ride when he saw our luggage near the front door. 

You made me the happiest, big guy!  Looking forward till  I'll see you again this Christmas.