Getting Settled In Our New Home

The story behind how we settled into our new home has more twists and turns than a bumpy farm road.  This telling reveals how our love for home breeds perseverance and passion. 

When the movers brought down our belongings from the truck two months ago, I didn't have the slightest idea how to arrange things, except that the beds belong to the bedrooms and our leather couches in the living room. The greatest challenge though was where to put the  furniture and fixtures in places that would be a good fit for the space.

The very firsts to be installed were the refrigerators(we have two), the gas range and window air conditioners, at least we could live with just that for awhile.  Some lighting fixtures like the chandeliers had to wait for the electrician since my husband abhors exposed electric wires. 

As the days progressed into weeks we were slowly getting used to the look of every room.  I can now navigate in the dark from the kitchen to our bedroom without bumping into anything.  Some paintings and picture frames are up but we are being discriminate about the rest; (we have a lot) since we do not want our home to turn into a "gallery".   

In doing all these, we had to consult each other; which ones would go into which room, which wall and how to arrange them.  As a team, we worked shoulder to shoulder; when there were differences of opinion, compromise was the magic word.  Our guiding rule was "the wise bamboo", as the Japanese call it; we learned to bend so we didn't break.  I believe that our maturity and flexibility got us through.   I know that when couples are not careful, such issues would cause a rift.   

We needed a desk and a file cabinet since the desks and drawers in the former house were all built-ins.  It took us sometime to attend to that; for a while the home office looked like a dumping room.   Finally I told my husband: "if we don't get a desk and a file cabinet soon,  I can't fix that room"

It helped that the drapes we have are quite new and fitted the windows just fine, especially that they come in cream and beige.  It took time for them to be put up though, since we waited for the handyman to drill in the rods. 

Having placed the basic furniture inside the house, we had one dilemma, "where to put the piano"?  Definitely it wouldn't fit anymore inside the house.  Inspired by the "tiny house" that is becoming very popular nowadays, my husband had a storage/tool shed built behind the house.  To our great relief however, our older daughter finally decided to get the piano after all; we were worried earlier that it may just warp in storage.   We still needed the storage though, for the other things we want to keep, including the rest of the items deserving a second sorting pass. 

So what's next?

We felt that the outdoors deserve some attention as well to make it a part of the living area.  Unlike decades earlier, the yard is getting much attention nowadays; most homes develop the garden as part of the living area, it is being treated, furnished and decorated like the interiors.

Presently, the area surrounding our house is a work in progress.  We are so looking forward to a weekly barbecue.  Entertaining friends and family seems more fun if we do it outdoors, it is less fuzzy since I don't have to set the formal dining table with my best china, crystal and silverware. 

While the contractor puts up the outdoor kitchen, complete with stove, a griller, working counter and storage shelves for cooking paraphernalia, the garden is being spruced up simultaneously.   My husband's herbs are thriving well and I can now use them for cooking, he has rosemary, tarragon, oregano, mint, basil, ginger and pandan.  He intends to add other leafy veggies soon.  Last week, I just trimmed a bunch of basil for my granddaughter's tomato-herb pasta and now there's a lot to be used again. 

I bought a kamias plant (bilimbi fruit) about a meter tall since I love to use the fruits for fish broth; I also got a dwarfed guapple (guava-Apple hybrid) to incorporate in the backyard. 

"Where in the world are you gonna plant those?", my husband asked. 

"You said you'll remove two big ornamental bushes, so we can put those in their place", I replied.  

I'd rather have fruit bearing small trees than ornamentals. I'm sure our grandchildren will love to climb the tree reaching for fruits as I did when I was a kid. 

In a month, this cozy outdoor living-dining-kitchen in the garden would be complete.   Creating that space would fulfill our need to sit and enjoy coffee outdoors, breathe in fresh air, reflect, even meditate, write my blog, read a book too and entertain; I tell you, it would really be a full outdoor experience.  

Feeling new energy around our new home

Last Sunday morning, my husband woke up with a new sense of energy.   He asked: 

"Are you apt to broiling milkfish (a common delicacy in this part of the world), some marinated pork belly and invite over our older daughter, her husband and daughter for lunch?".

Automatically, I replied: 

"yes",

not only because I was feeling more energetic as well but our older daughter has been missing charcoal-broiled milkfish. Besides she has been very helpful lately, facilitating our adjustment to this new environment and their company would make our Sunday special.   So right after the 6 o'clock morning mass, we were off to the local market to get lunch ingredients.  

Driving back home from the market, my husband asked me:

"Do you feel the lightness that comes with our moving to this place?  I feel at ease in this place; almost everything we need are within easy reach, 

you want to eat out, the eateries are practically around the corner; 

the market and grocery are very accessible, you go anytime of day and you can get what you want;

several masses are said to suit our convenience on Sundays, what's more the church is air conditioned;

walking around our streets is pleasant, safe and no stray dogs around.  

Do you feel that lightness as well?".

"I do", I was thinking that finally we are practically settled in this new home. Familiar things are put in place, picture frames of the family are up, favorite items found their convenient places, our major furniture seem to have been made for the place, we can now comfortably lounge on the living room couches and the grandfather clock does its work again, striking the quarterly hours.  So yes, now we can finally call this "home".  

Rewind two months earlier......

As soon as our personal effects were put in place, my husband and I decided to stay in our new home.  

"Mom, are you staying there tonight?  What about dinner?", my older daughter called. 

"We like tuna, we have several cans in our pantry", I replied.  She brought us roast chicken, I think she couldn't bear that our first dinner is from a can.  You know what?  It was the most delicious roast chicken ever?  Honestly, it was so good and just the right size and maybe we felt so blessed which added to our enjoyment. 

We had our phone working and Internet connection just a day after, thanks again to my older daughter's persistence in following up the service provider company including that of cable TV who called that they were ready to transfer our connection. 

During our early days here, our older daughter was often around or on the phone almost every hour, asking, giving, helping, she thought of a lot of things: three containers of purified drinking water were delivered immediately;  she often brought us food she prepared herself.  She helped me locate the nearest supermarket and accompanied me to get our immediate needs.   She sought the schedule of masses in the nearby church and telephone numbers of the gate security.  Oh, that was quite a load lifted off my shoulders as I was busy fixing the house.  Now that we're settled, she continues to call; she occasionally invites us out to breakfast; when at the mall, she would ask whether I needed something.  

Our son too, would call from abroad where he lives with his wife and son to check how we're getting along.   He gives advise not from personal opinions but scenarios that would make us  think so we  come to our own decisions.  

He emails pictures of our grandson weekly  and FaceTime  with him gives us the greatest joy for we see his progress: his first steps, his new shoes,  learning to walk in the park, sipping from a straw, now he dismantles (assembled by his nanny) Lego parts and throws the pieces in a basket, ohh!!, just seeing his new tricks takes our aches away.

Not to be outdone, our younger daughter, who also lives abroad with her husband,  would get in touch almost every night.  Initially we would chat on iMessage, then we progress to FaceTime, (this is where her husband would say, hi!).   She always like to know what we're doing, how we're feeling, what's the progress in fixing the house; puts in some suggestions. Looking back, I saw her role in trying to make us relax, a way of saying that "everything will work out fine" while she reiterates that we are not to hesitate to ask for help in whatever way.

While we continue fixing the house, trying to figure out where to put our stuff, our other son-in-law shows much interest in our progress.  Whenever they come over, he'll look for what's new in every nook, what frames were put up, where we put items of interest, looking at everything in silent appreciation.  My granddaughter too, took so much fancy on the "tiny house", something very popular on TV nowadays.

"wow, papa, I couldn't believe you had a tiny house built", 

she said (we had it built as a tool/storage shed), 

All throughout this journey of moving and settling down, our children were there, helping us in every which way they felt is best for us.  What more would we ask for?  

This morning I heard the CD player blowing:  

"I believe in mu-u-sic, I believe in----love".   

For the first time my husband turned on the CD player.  Care to know what the next song was?

" you--- light up my life --- you give me hope---to carry on...."

Very soon, I know that he'll be turning on the videoke and the house will be filled with his modulated voice again. 

So yes!   We're finally "back on track". 

Now I'll be looking forward to celebrating my 70th birthday next week with a light heart in the loving company of the dearest and the closest.

Reflections At 70

Picture from 123RF stock photo. Copywriter - Robyn Mackenzie

Not everyone is blessed to live up to 70; I can't believe I'm one of the lucky few to have made it to my eighth decade of life. Time really goes by and if I open my memory playlist, memories dance in my mind; my triumphs and disappointments, good times and bad, challenges I had overcome; experiences that are wonderful and sweet, horrible and painful.  Along with regrets is a resolve to make things better, thankful as well that by God's grace, I still have time left.

But I know one thing, time is running out, I am aware that our lives hang on a thread that easily breaks and any moment maybe our last.  Just yesterday, I got dizzy sorting my glassware.  It became more complicated when I took a tablet on an empty stomach.  This reminded me that life can be tricky and that I can't be sure how much time I have left to spend with my husband, my children and grandchildren; something I just couldn't get enough of.  

Why do I feel that the days are shorter and time passes like a breeze.  So, when I blow the candle on my birthday cake this month, my wish is to be given more time.  Hopefully with luck I'll remain put together for a few more years to live and do my undertakings well.

As I focus on my memory playlist,  I feel blessed that most of my bucket list have come true; and maybe I shouldn't ask for more.  Yet--- why do I feel like I still have 70 things I want to do; there is that unreachable bar I need to reach, new opportunities and experiences to embrace.  Shouldn't life be like that;  a continuous journey full of interesting activities to fulfill our passions?  As Oprah said:

"Passion is energy, feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you."

I recall one conversation I had with my son when I turned sixty; I was at the lowest point in my life then.  On one of our afternoon walks just around the neighborhood of his condo in Singapore, he said that I am blessed with a good life, I had my share of travel and great experiences professionally and personally.  Maybe he meant that I should be content since I've "been there, done all that"; therefore I should be happy, right?  Ohh ---- that I am!

But then, I felt that my life should not end there. 

Now, ten years after that talk, I feel like I just couldn't float along the waves of life, I choose to stay in the game.  I am always hopeful that anytime soon, I'll find a spark of knowledge or experience that will enhance my passions, my talents or abilities to do something that would make me excited.  For me that's what living is all about, not just existing; for what is a life without something to look forward to; whatever that is; I know it varies at different stages of life. 

Was it only last month when my husband showed me the veggie seeds he bought:

"Look, I got mustard and cabbage seeds that I intend to sow on my pocket garden", he said;  

He meant that he has something to nurture along with his ornamentals,  a reason to get up in the morning to check how they are growing.

That's exactly what I mean, no matter our age, we can still embark on activities we are passionate about; something that gives us fulfillment and makes us forget time; let's not wait for things to happen; let's make things happen.   If we must, then let's live outside of the box, outside of normal if that is what it takes to live the life of our dreams.  As Brian Tracy says: 

"let's do the unusual thing, we must be willing to go out of our comfort zone and not feel awkward and uncomfortable in trying something new".

Now I recall one popular post on facebook about a man who went to have his phone checked.

"Your phone is working fine", the technician told him. 

"But why doesn't my children ever call?", he asked. 

Early on, my husband and I came to terms in dealing with this situation; though we love to be with our children often, we have our own hobbies, and pre-occupation to keep us going.  When our children are around, we drop everything to make the most of the opportunity.  

So to this man (whose phone doesn't ring), I can only say to "get a life"; do something to while away time, find something of interest and develop it as a hobby.  Here's an advise from one of the blogs at 70candles.com:  "live your life and make it a verb everyday".

It is unfortunate how life plays with us and we never know what is next.  How will my next chapter; at least, the next ten years play out, what's more, how will it end?  I know it's all up to The Almighty for He plans everything. 

Someone said that: 

"the success of a race isn't determined by how you start but how you finish. It's the second half that counts".   

To make better the remainder of my second half, I'd like to hid Dr. Plaster when he asked in his book: "The 100-year Lifestyle": 

"Are you hibernating or are you ready for your next big thing?"

He says that choosing the next big thing will bring incredible passion back into one's life. He mentions Helen Pavlov as an example, who at the age of 94 was able to write and publish a book. 

And what Bruce Lee said to his friend, John Little during a training run is also something to think about:  --- If you stop at your limits:

"…you might as well be dead. Seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level.” --- Bruce Lee

At this stage however, I won't try to exceed my physical limits but plateaus won't discourage me to pursue my endeavors.  For now I will be on the lookout for that spark of an idea or that adrenaline-filled experience that will lead me to my next big thing.  After all they all say that 70 is a vibrant age if one has a good state of health and especially a good state of mind.  Therefore I shall look forward to conquering any challenge that will make my remaining days more amazing than they had ever been.