DOWNSIZING IS A SERIOUS CONSIDERATION IN RETIREMENT

When i was invited to dinner pre COVID by my neighbor, now my friend,  I fell in love with her home which is nicely and tastefully decorated.  I've seen bigger homes that did not appeal to me.  This home is not enormously big but had ample space for entertainment and can accommodate visiting family and friends.  Who wouldn't want a home like that? 

I reminded myself however that we are already retired.  At this stage most couples would usually move to a smaller home while they sell or rent out the former. Many too, migrate to another state or country where the cost of living is relatively cheaper. 

Retirement is when we care less about the image we portray to family and friends. Now is the time to set aside our ego that usually want to portray a semblance of success.  

It doesn't mean that when retired, we don't live comfortably like we used to, and live the way we want to.  In retirement, when the children move out to live their own lives, a big house is expensive to maintain and is not at all practical. 

On the flip side, a bigger house would come in handy when  children and relatives visit; but how often would that be, once a year, twice at the most?  Won't going to visit the children and grandchildren instead be a more appealing  arrangement? 

Five years ago we move to this present home, I didn't realize until we packed what an enormous amount of stuff we had accumulated through the years.  Back then we just built and built storage spaces to accommodate our stuff. 

The present home has a bigger land area but the house itself is a little bit smaller.  After putting the furniture in place, the whole family felt that this suits us better since there's just the two of us.  The big plus is that we have a space for an edible backyard garden.  Having that Is a blessing; gardening got us through the adjustment phase. 

When my stay-in household help left last year, we managed the daily chores on our own for almost a year, something I couldn't have done in the old house without help. Indeed upkeep is definitely easier and maintenance cheaper.  Power and water bills were remarkably reduced. 

Presently, I noticed that I still have a lot of stuff which I never touched since the move.  My children have their own style and choices of household effects that they do not want to take on our stuff.  Besides, my daughters have also been decluttering since the trend of minimalism became popular in recent years. 

I often wonder where our belongings will be when we go.  Will they be in garage sale?  Hopefully they wouldn't end up in a thrash bin.  I'm contemplating having a garage sale now but my husband may not think well selling our stuff, it seems like a difficult task for him. 

I'm sure that seniors like me have seriously considered this at one time or  another.  For the rich and famous, this task is made easier by estate sales done by prestigious antique and collectibles dealers like Sotheby's and Christie's because of valuable paintings and furniture.  But for an ordinary citizen like me, the items we hold are mostly because of sentimental value. 

I'm sure that most of the younger generation won't have that much of a problem when they retire since minimalism has become a trend. 

Oftentimes I'm still attracted to buy decorative objects or kitchen effects; it's so tempting to buy online but I always restrain myself. I've known for a long time now that it is in the act of buying that is irresistible and the most exciting part but it all diminishes once the item is acquired. 

So my mantra: no more buying unless necessary, and it is often said that there is a difference between a need and a want. 

HOW ARE YOU COPING WITH THE COVID 19 PANDEMIC?

I can't believe it's more than six months ago now since the lockdown!  How time flies!  September is about to end, and it seems like time passed us by like a breeze while we're unaware just sitting at home.  Was I bored staying home?  Did I feel deprived of my freedom to go anywhere I like?  No, absolutely not! 

Early on, I met an interesting friend and neighbor Tess and we became exercise buddies.  Our common interests in gardening and cooking made wonderful conversations.  From March until the first week of June; when she was able to fly to Rotterdam to join her husband and son, we had been walking and having fun at dawn within our enclave.  Those two months made our adjustment to the lockdown easier and bearable. 

Sans my walking buddy, I still walk every morning for fresh air and sunshine.  I rather enjoy the solitude walking.  I've also made friends along the way who have the same interest in plants and gardening.  

In our attempt to keep safe,  I've limited my going out of the house to a weekly shopping for food at a small grocery; twice a month to the drugstore and once a month to the bank.  

As I tried to count with my fingers the activities that my husband and I were not able to do, I realized that we missed a lot of bonding time with family and friends.   Whether we like it or not this pandemic changed our lives like everybody else.  

We missed trips abroad to visit our children and grandson, 

Friday dinners with my older daughter and her family, 

bonding and shopping lunch at the mall with my 15-year-old granddaughter, 

breakfasts at Starbucks with my husband, 

monthly lunch get-together with our friends, and 

going to church on Sundays, Wednesdays and first Friday's. 

In spite missing the above activities, staying at home was not  difficult for us since we are content staying at home reading, gardening, watching tv and cooking.  

I believe that technology has bridged the bonding gap making isolation easier to bear with FaceTime, zoom, messenger, viber, etc.. Moreover we are able to catch up with most of our friends on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. 

How about you guys, were you bored?  Did you feel deprived not going out much and meeting friends?  Did you miss road trips with your family?  So far, it has been a stressful six months for some of us, we were placed in a situation that made us experience difficult times that we never imagined. 

I learned that some people are having difficulty coping,  bored and restless, some are eager to go back to work, some are even depressed.  I'd say that the easiest way to cope is to accept our predicament and follow protocols to keep ourselves safe. 

On His feast day this week, we are reminded of the famous words of The Blessed Saint Padre Pio: 

"Pray, hope and don't worry.  Worry is useless.  God is merciful and will hear your prayer". 

HOW TO LET GO OF ITEMS WITH SENTIMENTAL VALUE

Are you having a difficult time letting go of items with sentimental value?   Mia at miadanielle.com says that " letting go is an emotional process and decluttering is all about learning to let go".  

 I've come across several tips, the most common of which is: "if we have something we're reluctant to let go that is tacked away somewhere, either we use it or showcase it, otherwise sell or give away to someone who will love it". 

This is so true, especially if it has been in storage for quite sometime.  In this age of minimalism, declutter is the mantra. They say that keeping something we don't use or display is clutter that occupies a space that could be of better use for something more important in our present lives. 

Don't they often say: "live for today"?

Why keep something of the past?, they ask.  But I'm sure there is that something that has meaning to us, something we acquired way back when that we can't seem to part with. 

When we moved from our home of 38 years, I thought that it was a good time to declutter so I took time sorting things to keep, store or give away.  By then, my emotions were already raw, I was crying because I felt like I was compartmentalizing our lives in boxes. 

As I went through two shoe boxes of greeting cards that I kept pre-digital times, I didn't have the heart to part with them; they are filled with loving thoughts; throwing them away felt like giving up part of my family who gave them.   My younger daughter came to the rescue: "They are just two shoe boxes Mom, I'd say you keep them all, how much space will they occupy?". 

Today, the shoe boxes are still in a drawer somewhere, I know a time will come when I will take pictures of the best ones from each of my family members and close relatives so I can finally discard them. 

But really, sometimes it is not healthy to be so attached to material things unless they are so special like the punch bowl set that has held several thousand island desserts.  My husband bought that for me in the 70's when US goods could only be bought at the stalls  outside of Clark Air Base at a relatively good price.  Then there is that antique mini  intricate crystal  punch bowl set from my mother-in-law that I treasure so much.  Both are displayed in our dining  room where I put fruits. 

Many of us may think that our children would like to have our sentimental items in their homes.  Believe me, they have other ideas, you'd be surprised to know that every piece of decor, every dish or vase that they incorporate in their homes is given a lot of thought. 

When we moved, I discarded two-thirds of my kitchen effects, half of my clothes, almost all knick knacks and donated  5 balikbayan boxes of books to our parish to give away to distant parish schools. 

My son only asked for his Tonka toys, my older daughter took the piano,  a crystal dish and a Pyrex loaf pan while my younger daughter took an antique cake server and a crystal vase. 

What to do then?? 

First, let's try to incorporate them in our home decor, in a way that is appropriate.  Experts caution that it should blend well with our set up; we should not try to accommodate them just for the sake of keeping them especially if they are big items lest our home may look like a museum.  

If it's a set of coffee mugs, by all means, let's use them, if they break, then that's it.  If it is a set of delicate China let us enjoy them everyday;  that would be making the most out of them.  

For seniors like me, we can still ask our children if they need or want to keep our treasure/treasures.  Let us be considerate though by letting go of most of our things, not only those with sentimental value but every little thing that we no longer use.  

While there's still time; let us not leave this burden for our children to do when we are already gone.  The best way is to find a home for them like a relative or a friend who would love them as much as we do. 

If not, sell.  Take a picture and advertise online.  Someone out there maybe looking for something like it. Then we can use the money to buy a more useful item to keep the memory of our treasure alive. 

ORDERING FOOD ONLINE HAS BECOME A LIFESTYLE DURING THIS PANDEMIC

Even in a  third world country like the Philippines, we are also digital in ordering food and pretty much everything during this pandemic.  For quite sometime now this has been a practice in more cosmopolitan cities worldwide; in Manila some people do so occasionally.  During this pandemic however when people's movement is limited, ordering food online has become a way of life for most Filipinos. 

It is said that this  practice is mostly favored by millennials.  Since they are tech savvy and their laptops practically booted all the time it is convenient to order food online while they work from home.  

It may sound convenient for most, but I have some reservations.  For health reasons alone,  the ingredients of take out food is beyond our control.  There is the waiting time of 30 minutes to an hour for the delivery to arrive.  Moreover, the added cost of cooking services as well as the delivery fee renders the food more expensive.  

My husband and I prefer cooking our food;  budget-wise it is also more practical.  More than that, we felt that it is safer  during this pandemic.  Not that vendors do not practice cleanliness and sanitation, but at this time we want to be extra careful. 

I don't want to sound like a snob but at this point in our lives, my husband and I, along with most seniors have developed more sophisticated palettes.  We have taste expectations even on the simplest of food; but when we feel like eating pizza, chicken and mojos or burger and fries we don't hesitate ordering from reputable establishments that we are accustomed to.  

In our locality, there are two popular venues where the homeowners can advertise their food products on Facebook: the BF Home Sarap and the  BF Bayanihan Marketplace.  This is convenient since most of the vendors live in the village. Last week a buyer echoed my sentiments on taste expectations in a Facebook post: 

"On ordering food online during this pandemic, one has to draw not only one's gift to differentiate food from what is good, better or best.  At times, one has to go back in time and recall how food taste when health was a premium on how they are prepared." 

Turns out that his Mom was a great cook that he developed preconceived ideas how specific food taste.  After tasting the leche flan he ordered online; he wrote further: 

"Over the years, I've been looking for the flan that I used to know but with much frustration until I tasted the flan I ordered from Flight Flan" (the vendor is a flight attendant, hence the name).  " I found that it is a resurrected version of my mother's flan." 

But I am not as lucky as the flan buyer.  One day I wanted ginatang bilo bilo,  (a local dessert of plantain, yam, tapioca and ground rice balls cooked in coconut milk).  I liked what I saw it online; thick sauce and full of the desired ingredients.  Sadly, it turned out very watery and all I got was mostly soup.  I was so discouraged.  

Due to some complains, the group moderator imposed vendors to show original pictures of their products and not borrow from Google.   When I read this, I made a comment about my ginatang experience without mentioning the vendor.   My vendor saw my comment and apologized.  Of course, I let it go and said there's no problem and the vendor felt better and thank me. 

Since I cook our food, I usually get raw ingredients at a big wet market in the village; but like any market with big crowds,  going there at this time is a health risk so I get everything from a nearby grocery.  I like choosing the ingredients myself so I can see the quality and quantity of my requirements and find substitutes when necessary. 

When I go shopping I am properly protected with my face mask, googles and cap on; my list and credit card at the ready.   I spray alcohol on the cart handles upon entering. I don't bring out my phone so I had  everything written, that way I can go in and out in a jiffy.   

I believe that it is a matter of choice and circumstance whether to order food online or not.  If we are fastidious , we must go out of our way to prepare our own food; if we don't  want the hassle, then food delivery is the answer.  No matter what our preference is, ordering food online is here to stay as part of the new normal.  

THE COVID SEASON HAS CREATED TIME FOR PRAYING

Nowadays, more and more people are praying.  On social media alone, people are posting prayers, morning prayers and evening prayers to end this pandemic.  Many have called on all their favorite saints to intercede for healing.  I myself received several prayers with a request to share to as many people as I can.

When we moved to this village, I continued my walking exercise. I bask in the serenity of solitude, praying the rosary while I thread my goal of 10,000 steps. 

Ive never been conscious holding my rosary bracelet for the world to see. People jogging and walking would even ask  how many mysteries I've completed or whether I'm done. 

Last week I noticed that many are praying the rosary while walking.  Most of them now sport a rosary bracelet instead of the long one.  There's this group of four guys who are always conversing loudly as they thread the streets.   Last week, I saw them walking further apart from each other, silently praying as they held their rosaries.  

Just recently, I came across the prayer of Reverent Joe Wright at the opening session of the US Kansas House of Representatives in 1996.   After reading, it got me thinking that in our situation, no amount of prayer can deliver us from this COVID 19 pandemic unless we purge our culpabilities and ask for forgiveness before we can request for healing. 

In this prayer, he called out society's misconduct one after another creating overwhelming reactions; a number of legislators walked out   (one reporter said some, another said only one).  Nevertheless,  history would tell that this prayer has been the talk of the town,  it was broadcast all over on tv and radio.    The Central Christian Church where Reverent Joe Wright is a pastor got numerous calls; out of 5000  only 47 gave negative reactions.   The church was deluged with mail that they didn't know how to deal with them; moreover they also got several international requests for a copy of the prayer. 

To summarize the prayer: 

Wright opened by asking God for forgiveness and sought direction and guidance. Then he continues: 

"Woe to those who call evil good

We confess; We have :

ridiculed  the absolute truth of Your word and called it pluralism 

Worshiped other gods  and called it multiculturalism

Endorsed perversion and called it an alternative lifestyle

Exploited the poor and called it lottery

Rewarded laziness and called it welfare

Killed the unborn and called it a choice

Shot abortionists and called it justifiable

Failed to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem 

Abused power and called it politics

Coveted our neighbor's  possessions and called it ambition

Polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression

Ridiculed the time honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment." 

He then concluded by asking  God for cleansing. 

Folks, what do you think? Did The Reverent Joe Wright make sense?  Did the prayer give us an idea how to deal with our difficult situation? But no matter what we think,  I'd say, let us continue praying; because  in prayer we can ask for forgiveness and guidance to right our ways and hope that The Almighty will hear us. 

As Alfred Lord Tennyson said: "More things are wrought by prayers than this world dreams of".

And from my friend Nina: 

"More cleansing and healing prayers for the safety of the whole world"

LOOKING AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC

Did it ever occur to you that there is a bright side to this very scary pandemic?  I'm sure, this has tickled your mind fleetingly once or twice or numerous times. 

This pandemic has brought out the best and the worse in all of us.  But  I believe that the plusses outnumber the negatives;  I for one has been counting and recording the good things that we, the people did and are still doing during these uncertain times. 

First and foremost is that we learned self preservation.  When people didn't have work, they found alternatives to earn a living or to augment their income.   We see a lot of product offerings on social media promoting self-made crafts, home-grown fruits and vegetables, herbs and ornamental plants.. 

Many started offering home-cooked meals and snacks, some found their old tried and tested heirloom family recipes useful which gave them an edge because they are already known in the market. 

Many found a way to help others.; if they have the means, they donated money, if not they helped raise funds using their talents or influence.  

We learned that staying home is not a confinement nor a sacrifice.  We know that by doing so, we are already saving lives.  We realized that being at home with the family is a blessing in disguise because it is  something that we have always wanted in the first place; but for one reason or another, we were too busy or too preoccupied with other activities. 

Staying home made decluttering possible, fixing the house, cleaning  drawers and other things that we can only do during vacation. We found time to decorate and improve our surroundings. 

We had the time to bake.  We even enjoyed doing that with the children.  Did you know that many a time, the supermarkets ran out of flour and baking soda?   I wonder how many hundreds or thousands of cookies were baked during this lockdown.  

By the way, have you tasted the pandemic pandesal?  In the Philippines it has become a craze, almost everyone is baking it or selling it that's why I jokingly call it the pandemic pandesal, it is very much promoted on social media. It is color violet, the pandemic color, yay!   Actually it is the color of the ube (yam) with real ube and cheese filling.  The taste mimics the salted caramel combination of the sweet and salty.  It is so soft and spongy, great with coffee, better than doughnuts for a change. 

We simplified our meals. There is never a time than now that we cooked as many pasta meals;  egg noodles, glass noodles and rice noodles because when we shopped for the lockdown, we thought that those are the easiest meals to prepare. 

We enjoyed gardening for reasons more than pleasure. Many of us planted veggies to augment our budget or just for the eventuality that when there is no food to be bought, at least we have a fallback.  Now our garden looks very much tended. 

At last we were able to read the books we never got to do earlier.  There was also time to play games and  watch Netflix with the family.  Most of all we had the time to unwind.  The two-week vacation a year given to employees is not enough, it would take at least a month or two to totally unwind, depending on how wound up we are. 

After four months of restricted movement, we are now concerned with helping boost the economy.  Didn't we see a lot of posts on social media saying to buy local?  "Help the farmers, buy their produce"; "buy taho (bean curd jelly) from the roving vendor",  "be generous in giving tips to those who serve;  the waiters, barbers, delivery man, the security guards and everyone who is trying his best to earn a living", they say. 

I can go on and on about the good that this pandemic brought us but most importantly,  I observed that many of us found our way back to The Almighty, seeking and pleading for help to end this pandemic. 

I myself is optimistic that something good will come out of this soon.  With our limited minds, we cannot understand, we do not know what to do but I believe that God willed this for a reason, for a better plan beyond our comprehension, beyond what we can ever dream of.  

Let us all remember that we cannot see the entire parade, we only see a part of the parade, the parade that is God's plan for us. 

So folks, don't despair.  Hopefully, the post of my good friend Nina that I'd like to echo here will put us in a better perspective. 

"Life is made up of special moments that make life worth living.  There are many cherished moments that are missed due to stress and the fast pace of daily life.  We MUST slow down and remember how precious it is to be alive" .

HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR TIME?

Reggie, a former colleague post a picture of his wall clock on Facebook and asked:  "how do you spend your time?".

Off hand I commented:

"Hopefully I'm using my time in productive ways.  Is doing Facebook productive?  For me it is because I'm socializing with friends, socialization being a spiritual need of man as claimed by Maria Montessori. 

Reggie replied: "It is productive Ninang! Use of technology maybe virtual but we reach out and connect with friends and relatives" 

I wonder what many of us do during our "me time".  Do you practice hygge?  For those who have not encountered hygge, I read that it is a Danish word pronounced as "hue-gah" or "hoo-guh" and shortlisted as the word of the year by the Oxford English Dictionary in 2016.  They say that there is no direct English translation and is described as "the atmosphere where we are most comfortable". "An outlook that focuses on simple pleasures" , according to Montanahappy.com 

It is during our relax time that we savor simple things like drinking coffee in the garden, watching the sunset over a glass of red,  connecting with friends via social media, dozing in the bathtub, reading a book or just lounging on a favorite chair taking a siesta.  All those are considered hygge, because they give us satisfaction that enhance our well being. 

How do I spend my time? Here's how.

To maximize our time we need to prioritize and get the more important things out of the way first.  That's the reason I do my walking first thing in the morning.  But before I do that, I still hygge, as I enjoy my morning coffee; taking slow sips because to me, every hot sip infuses warmth. 

My morning exercise is not just walking, there are many things that make my walk interesting and enjoyable.  The early morning tranquility is soothing;  the miracle of sunrise as the sun climbs up to the sky and Illuminates the earth is always a sight to behold.   

Breathing in fresh air and feeling the cool morning breeze is refreshing and invigorating.  I marvel at birds that fly in front, behind and around me, hearing them chirp as they flock together on tree tops and on electric wires is simple joy. 

I find pleasure taking pictures along the way; the sunrise and the cloud formation that is different everyday are great subjects.  Colorful and vibrant flowers, birds and unique plants and trees  always fascinate me.  Most of the time those pictures come out on my Facebook posts.   

Walking is also my time for meditation and prayer. It is a great opportunity to thank The Lord for His blessings, healing, guidance, enlightenment and protection.  This is when I ask Him to stay with me, with my family, in our home, in our minds and hearts.  Walking 10,000 steps (takes me an hour and a half, I walk slow), gives me the time to complete the 4 mysteries of the Holy Rosary along with my requests for special intentions. 

I made a lot of friends by walking the streets of our enclave everyday.  I exchange greetings with young joggers and with older people who just walk like me.  House-helps working on the front lawn, drivers cleaning cars and street cleaners greet me because I greet them back with a smile.   Homeowners tending to their gardens are friendly since they see me everyday; a couple often invite me to join them for coffee occasionally.  I refuse of course, but I graciously thank them and often chat for awhile. 

When I became interested in bougainvilla, I was always on the lookout for the colorful varieties around the enclave.  Some homeowners were generous to give me cuttings to propagate. When I had enough, I started collecting crepe myrtle as well until I got all the colors from people I befriended  along the way. 

Breakfast with my husband is another highlight of my day.  In between spoons-full of oatmeal, bread and cheese; some days forks-full  of bacon and pancakes, we compare notes on news we read; we talk about the latest on our children and grandchildren.  We update each other about our friends and remind each other to greet birthday and anniversary celebrants.

After breakfast I garden, this is another activity that I enjoy especially when I see my plants are growing well.  Lunch preparation follows.  After lunch is  "me time"  again.  Siesta invigorates me and gives me energy to take on the rest of the afternoon and evening activities. 

That about sums up my day and it works for me.  I live, I love! 

I just don't know whether this is ideal for those who go to work or moms with babies but it is good for retirees for sure.  Whether we are working to earn a living, just doing housework or pursuing other endeavors, I do encourage everyone to allot  for "me time". 

Let's hygge!