Simplifying our Lives

If we want to simplify our lives, we should begin by purging our material overload; free from tangibles that obviously distract us from a clear mind.  In our case however, the major declutter came later.   

We've always wanted a simple life, but early on when this simple life movement was borne before the turn of the century, this would have been impossible to pursue.  My husband and I were very deep in our commitments at work that we couldn't just drop everything. Simplifying our lives was too far-fetched and I also couldn't have found time to declutter.  When our stuff didn't fit, we just added storage spaces or gave away a few. 

But purging of material things is not the only issue here; it's also about eliminating activities that give us stress or occasions that rob us of time better spent to enhance our well-being and add to our enjoyment.   

When we retired we welcomed the slower pace and the time available to pursue more relaxing activities.   Eager to start, we thought gardening would be an ideal activity, so we bought ourselves a new set each of gardening tools.  But  we just had a pocket garden, how much work was needed there?   True, we had a farm at the south of the metro but it is a two-hour drive to get there and we thought we couldn't be driving that far on a regular basis just to garden.  We couldn't move there either, I still have a store in town to manage. 

Sans the garden we started to focus on ourselves, we started addressing our inner issues while we spend more time for leisure, creativity and exercise as well as planning more  healthy meals.  We engaged in pleasant discussions and mastered navigating the net, because we know that this digital world is here to stay. 

I am aware that we all work to have it all,  to acquire our basic needs first: a home, a car, send our children to the best schools, good clothes; then if at all possible we also want to shop frequently, get the state-of-the-art appliances and other luxuries and to travel regularly.  Because of the hard work we put in to acquire all that, giving up a lot may not be easy.

Obviously simple living is different between you and me because of our individual values, priorities and needs. We have different ambitions, dreams and passions.  Buying a sub-zero refrigerator and a convection oven just to have an enviable kitchen may not be good unless we want to pursue our passion for cooking.  

Some do the extreme by leaving the city to live in the middle of nowhere and literally unplug everything.  Some move to a tiny house after living in a mansion.  All the alternatives are there but how we choose to live depends on what makes us happy. 

Our major declutter finally came when we moved to another home a year ago.  In the process of packing, we were able to give up at least a third of our material possessions.  After this experience, I believe that this process should continue so as not to accumulate again. As they say, one in, one out.  

After purging quite a lot, I learned to be conscious when shopping, not  on impulse.  I keep in mind what the advocates of simple living suggest that just like living, buying should be intentional, buy only what we need and only if this will enhance the quality of our lives. Any addition should not give us more work or more stress. 

Today, we are happily working on our edible backyard garden.  Recently, we bought garden items because that's our current passion and that makes us happy.  We got a table, chairs and garden umbrella.  Of course we also spent on bricks and stones. 

This past year we only bought a few clothes,  grocery shopping is pegged to a minimum nowadays and I only shop when we run out, not anymore weekly.   I'm also mastering the art of cooking for two to avoid left-overs.

Regards decluttering, I continue weeding out items from the stuff we kept.   At the same time we strive to make every nook and cranny of our home inspiring and relaxing. 

Nowadays we have more time to enjoy a cup of coffee in the garden, oftentimes even breakfast while we talk about our schedule, our plans and exchange opinions on current issues; in other words, we are talking more.  We meet with friends occasionally and when the weather allows,  we entertain in the garden. 

More importantly we are taking better care of ourselves, emotionally, physically and mentally.  We read a lot and we challenge our minds to remember things; next to gardening, reading is our other pastime. We heed what our bodies tell us and we don't overwork.  Our hearts tell us that there's contentment.  We are always in close contact with our children who touch home base everyday or every week depending on how busy they are. 

So yes! We are living the simple life and we are enjoying it. 

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My Resolve to Lead a Simple Life

You may call this a sequel to last my blog: "my journey on de cluttering". Cait Flanders in one of her "Blonde on a Budget" blogs said:

"I wasn't living an extravagant life style, I'm just consuming more than I needed".  

In a sense, we are like her, we also lead a simple lifestyle but we do have more stuff than we need, otherwise, why do we need a storage shed?

The idea of being a minimalist is becoming more popular nowadays, especially among the young.  Couples are more inclined to discard their stuff , we see people on tv decluttering to fit smaller homes, some even  move to a "tiny house".  However, it maybe more challenging for oldies like me to do that; our ways are set and we become more sentimental as with age; there's just too many memories attached to our belongings.

My attempt to discard stuff we don't need started when we moved to a new home.  After seeing the enormity of our material possessions it got me thinking that I had more than I needed and that stopped me from buying things. This was a wake up call that stuck with me this passed year, otherwise, I would have continued buying stuff to this day. 

Isn't it a blessing in disguise then that circumstances led me to realize that owning too much is robbing me of time better spent doing things that matter most; focusing on this so-called "business of living", making my life happier and more productive?   At some point don't we all want to declutter for a simpler life but we just don't know how?   I consider myself lucky that I finally got started. 

I felt better after disposing a good bulk of our stuff, in my mind I saw order, I felt that everything is more organized without the need to cramped as much objects as I can in a limited storage space.  This encouraged me to continue decluttering.

Looking back, I have been oblivious to my surroundings, I should have learned from my children earlier on.  Now I have a flashback of my son opening his mail, crumples what's not important and throws them in the waste can.  When he moved to his own home, he would often bring a bag of stuff he doesn't want, paperbacks he has read, little things he got as gifts that are not useful to him.  I remembered catching them all and putting them away on cabinets and shelves; little did I realize that he learned early.

My younger daughter is an advocate of minimalism.  I think she also learned the hard way.  When she was single her shoes were in their original boxes piled one on top of another more than a meter high, occupying an entire wall of her room.  When my 6-year-old granddaughter visited, she was over-whelmed. 

"Wow, you have lots of shoes. May I see your clothes?". When she opened the  cabinet she got another surprise when some clothes fell off. 

After she got married she and her husband must have pledged to start being minimalists.   Would you believe that they bought their dinner set one piece at a time?  Yes, they didn't get the whole set at once. And this is also true with pots and pans.

"It's a good thing that I can buy Corelle one piece at a time", she happily told me.  

When they learned that my husband and I were visiting, they bought another pair of dining chairs.  She even sent me a picture of the new acquisition and I joked back: 

"So now Dad and I can sit as well".  "Yes!", she replied.  We brought them peanuts among other local delicacies and only then did they buy a mason jar to store it. 

We sat on a couch in front of the tv in the living room and she sat on a kitchen ladder while entertaining us. My son-in-law sat in the dining area.  A week after we left, they got an armchair for the living room.  Do you see that they won't buy anything unless they see the need? They only buy kitchen equipment after serious discernment regards its use and only if they have a space for it in their two-bedroom condo. 

Not to be out-done, my older daughter has always sorted her stuff and like my son, she would also bring stuff home to give away.  Lately though, she has been more determined that she doesn't  miss a thing.  She started with her clothes, then kitchenware and lately she had me sell her daughter's toys; barbie dolls, sets of Polly  pocket, girlie vanity items and out-grown clothes at my store.   The bigger and more expensive stuff were sold on line.  

From her daughter's stuff, she now has a budget to renovate her daughter's room and buy furniture to suit a teenager.  Not that she wouldn't spend out-of-the-pocket money for that, but isn't it a good thing that she got back enough from old stuff to do this?  

In all my earnestness to pursue this endeavor, I have to be honest, I have one dilemma.  My husband disposes his personal stuff sparingly.  He has four golf sets complete in their bags.  Don't you think they are bulky?  One entire wall in the storage shed is a two-tier rack where his coats, jackets and shirts are hang in addition to those in his closet inside the house.   I can't dispose his clothes and his personal effects. I'm just glad he trusts me to take charge of the kitchen items. 

The idea of being a minimalist does not only clear our space with much clutter, it also allows us to focus on what is really important.  It saves us money too because we realize that we  don't need another item to bring home.  Last Christmas, I avoided the bazaars; during my last trip to Singapore, I only went to the mall once and didn't buy anything but food for family back home. But early, early on, before all this decluttering matter, we went to Europe and  I bought souvenirs from every city we visited, but I say" never again", I promise!

My Decluttering Journey

It's been a blissful year; this month we celebrate our first year anniversary in this new home.  Happy memories of get-togethers with family and friends abound; we didn't encounter any negative vibes here, everything is just wonderful.  

Since this time also marks the start of my journey in disposing the "excesses" of "worldly possessions", I'm here to rehash and share with you how I was able to declutter. 

 I started to sort our stuff when I was packing up prior to our move to the new home.  I was over-whelmed at the enormity of the things I had to pack, I didn't realize that we accumulated so much in all these years especially the kitchen effects. 

"What do you expect?":

I asked myself, then I realized that earlier on when we were both working, we hosted lots of parties that I wanted to have "all the works".  Add the gifts I got on our silver wedding anniversary and those on birthdays and Christmases so they really added up. 

As I tried to take photos of each one that were stored under the big island and kitchen cupboards thinking to email them to my children to choose from; I saw items I didn't even remember I had; some still in gift wrap; dinner sets, all kinds of glasses and mugs, trays, bowls and platters galore!  I had two sets of punch bowls with hooks to hang the cups around; two sets of silver coffee/tea sets, cups and saucers and lots of serving paraphernalia.   

Initially, I was hoping that my children would want some of our stuff but then two of them live abroad so I realized that even if they wanted too, it's more practical for them to buy where they are.

"I just want my Tonka toys", my son said. 

So I boxed up his red tractor, the blue and white hauling truck, the yellow bulldozer and the blue dump truck. 

My younger daughter who also lives abroad indicated she wanted the big 1954 poster of the 2nd Marian Congress in the Philippines that my Papa framed in heavy narra; plus a mother-and-child pastel painting of a Filipino artist, Tagle.  Since then, she has been home thrice but she only took home a crystal vase and a set of antique silver cake server.  Nevertheless, I'll keep those two for her. 

 

My older daughter who lives in town still has her wedding presents intact in boxes after eleven years.  She only got a Pyrex loaf pan, a crystal bowl and a round serving platter.   What am I to do with the rest?  I gave my brother wine glasses and I asked a niece, whose house is being constructed and she only wanted a set of brandy glasses.  

"I'll look into your frames when my house is done, Ninang", she said. 

We had boxes and boxes of books, hard bound and paperbacks alike, magazines too.    Before the advent of the iPad, I bought at least three paperbacks a week and my husband at least one bestseller a week since he watches TV more often than I do.  I donated to a remote barrio educational books, children's books, a set of children's classics and a set of old encyclopedia for their school library.  The remaining books for reading entertainment and the magazines were marked for sale. 

I was lucky to have the luxury of time in sorting our belongings before we sold the house.   I followed the traditional three boxes for "keep", "donate" and "dispose".  It was easy to do this with my clothes.  For kitchen items and house decor, I also had three groups: "keep", "retain while I think about it" and "dispose". 

Fortunately, I operate a retail store so all the items to "dispose" ended at the store for sale. I was surprised that they went fast,  in six months most of the items were sold out including a sala set, and an office swivel chair.  We had to give away to a neighbor one sala set.  I brought the "donate" items to our parish office that took care of distributing them.

My biggest challenge was my younger daughter's stuff in her former room untouched since she went to work abroad.   In spite instructions from her, I still needed my best judgement in sorting them; it's difficult to sort things that aren't yours.  I was deludge in her mountain of clothes; fortunately  her sister knows her stuff well and that helped me decide which ones to keep.   Her albums occupied an entire row of a cabinet so I let someone detached the pictures to fit into three one-foot cube boxes. 

Although my older daughter got all her clothes when she got married, the space vacated were occupied by baby stuff of my granddaughter. Sorting this was simpler since she was there to do it, still it took us three sittings.  

Right after our move, my younger daughter sent me the Marie Kondo ebook:  "The Life-changing Magic of Tidying-up".  

To this day, I still refer to it.   She also sent me the link on becoming a minimalist.  As I continue to trim down our stuff, I still review the minimalist blogs.  When I discard a piece of clothing, a home decor or a dish nowadays, doing so gives me a good feeling that I can't quite explain, a sense of calm and serenity as well as relief are words that come close but doesn't fully describe it. 

In retrospect, I'm proud to say that my de-cluttering journey didn't  bring me difficult emotions or any mental "tag-of-war" whether to keep or discard something.  However when I sorted two shoe boxes of greeting cards I saved before the digital age , I cried and didn't have the heart to throw away any of them.  I guess it was the sentimental thoughts and loving greetings that made them so previous.  I saved them all!

Avocado-Mango-Chicken Salad Wrap

Today I got inspired by the avocado chicken salad wrap of Jen Nikolaus, a recipe blogger and photographer of yummyhealthyeasy.com.  This recipe was posted by my college BFF, Bee on Facebook which I found interesting that I wanted to try it. 

Everyday recently, I've been searching for food that is light, something  right for these hot summer days. I got the hint from my husband who mentioned recently that the Japanese has a menu for every season.   I thought that this avocado-chicken salad wrap will go well with the calamari that my granddaughter requested. 

These are the basic ingredients.

I chopped the celery, onions and grapes and sliced the avocado

Mashed avocado mixed with Greek yogurt, chopped ingredients, salt and garlic powder.  The recipe called for lime but I didn't  have that, so I used lemon.  The weather is already hot as it is so I didn't put curry powder anymore which the recipe indicated as optional.

Oops! Sorry that I missed to take a picture of the shredded chicken breast that was also added into the mix. 

 

I prepared the slices of avocado and oh yes, ripe mango; it's not in the recipe but I couldn't help adding it at the last minute. Mango definitely made the wrap more interesting and tasty. 

Mixed filling topped with slices of avocado and mango on the tortilla wrap ready to roll.

 

I sliced each roll into three.

Our lunch today. 

I found this wrap very filling, I was able to eat two slices.  

Reflections On Getting Older

"Growing old beats the alternative--- dying young"-------Regina Brent

Getting older is getting better?

Like wine, they say.  At least we get wiser with age; with experience, it is easier to learn new things and to understand human nature; we also mellow with age: we become more understanding, patient and tolerant.  But to live a full life we have to be physically independent with all our faculties intact.  Doing physical and mental exercises will prolong the inevitable. 

Almost everyone in my generation is turning 70, oh my, isn't my anxiety growing by the minute?  Every time we hear a text alert from friends, there is that apprehension that it's bad news.  Either one is very sick or had left us. 

Last Sunday we attended another 70th birthday party;  a surprise party actually that the son of the celebrant from the US had to stay in his sister's house for three days to add drama to the surprise.  Oh well, the celebrant was indeed surprised that he had tears of joy.   But I for one don't appreciate this kind of surprise, I'd rather spend the time bonding with my children. To borrow a phrase from a famous game show: A Minute to Win It,  I'd say that 

"every second counts", especially at our age. 

Nevertheless, it was a happy event and like any other 70th-and-beyond birthdays, the celebrant spoke of how lucky he is to reach this age and to celebrate this milestone with family and the dearest and closest of friends. 

Socializing keeps  people alive; for seniors who stay home a lot, meeting up with friends break the monotony of routine; that's why I was not surprised to see the big turn out of guests, there were more than a hundred.  I asked the celebrant's spouse how she gathered quite a crowd specially that she had to keep it secret from her husband and she said that some invitees were recommended by friends she invited. 

After the hellos and the how-are-you's, "how are the kids" comes next.  This is when parents would share their children's achievement and before you know it, they will be showing pictures of grandchildren on their iPhones.  But without grandchildren, you'd feel a bit inadequate and hope no one will ask.  After a long absence we find that some friends haven't changed while others are not so lucky I could hardly recognize them. Oh yes, life can be unfair sometimes. 

When we attend parties, my husband and I don't usually stick together all the time so we are able to social and catch up with as many friends as possible.  That being so, we have different stories to tell each other when we rehash  the party afterwards. 

When I texted my older daughter to let her know that we're back home safe at around 10 pm, she replied:

"Oh, you're home early"

"It's mostly a seniors' party", I replied.  

 Except for the 6 grandchildren of the celebrant and a sprinkling of younger ones, the guests went home shortly after dinner; they didn't even stay for coffee.  In fact we were among the last to leave, we lingered a bit longer catching up with a few close friends. 

As we age, we begin to understand, (though many have realized this sooner), that in the end, what only matters is the family and true friends; not our wealth nor our professional achievements.  Here's an excerpt of the famous last words of Steve Job that aptly describes this realization:

"I have reached the pinnacle of success in the business world, in others' eyes my life is the epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. There should be something more important. 

The wealth I have won, I cannot bring with me, only the memories precipitated by love.  That's the true riches that will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength to go on. 

Treasure love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends, cherish others."

Here's another point of reflection from a Facebook post of a dear friend Nina, who I know have so much faith:

"Bless this Sunday, our bonding time with the family.  Sometimes we feel as though life is slipping away from us, and the passage of time fill us with super anxiety.  These feelings are natural and normal, though I know that our hearts are made for eternity.  When anxious thoughts oppress us, God will always be there for us."

And I made this comment:

"The anxiety there is loud and clear and like you, I know it's but normal.  I accept that we all have to go sometime; so I try to "live each day like it is my last, and learn like I'll live forever". 

In the meantime, I'm enjoying life, like Hemingway said: 

"it's the journey that matters", so lets keep on going as long as we can.  In life however, this journey determines the destination and lest we forget, this destination is forever. 

"When In Doubt, Put Ice, says my Chiropractor

Yes, docMike's blog of the Mabuhay Chiropractic Clinic says to "ice it" when you have pain due to swelling or inflammation; never hot compress since that will enhance further swelling.

I went to the clinic again this week due to my knee pain.  I presumed my problem recurred after I was adjusted by doc Storm a year ago.  Unfortunately, he is now attending to patients in a further clinic, but fortunately,  I finally got to meet and was attended to by the clinic owner himself, Dr. Michel Yves Tetrault, who graduated summa cum laude, Doctor of chiropractic in America. He also represents the chiropractic community in Asia. 

He welcomed me with a smile and as soon as I sat, he started a preliminary talk about causes of pain and how chiropractic can help.

"Oh, I'm a believer", I said, "and that includes my family, after all, your first patient was my husband who was relieved from an excruciating neck pain; I even have a blog about my first chiropractic experience".  In fact I had also referred relatives and friends from abroad and he recalled my BFF from Las Vegas whom he attended to personally.  

To digress a bit, I greeted this BFF on Facebook on her birthday:

"Happy birthday, BEE!  it's never to late to follow your passions and chase your dreams". And she replied:

"Thanks, but you know girl, at our age, we can't just escape some aches and pains", to which I replied:

"I have no physical aches and pains, I have a great doctor, a iridologist as well as a good chiropractor.  Why don't I bring you to them when you come visit, can't let my BFF suffer", I said. 

My husband and I brought her to both clinics and after a session she had to go back home so she was referred to a chiropractor in Las Vegas to continue adjustments.

Back to my knee pain...

"I had this problem last year after a fall which caused a big swell on my left knee.  I was adjusted by doc Storm and it never bothered me again until now", I told him. 

"Let's take a look, lie on your back", he said indicating the examination table.  He tested the flexibility of my knee, bending it in all directions; surprisingly I didn't feel any pain. He then went through the motions of checking and adjusting my back, my hips and my neck.  I felt more relaxed right after I heard that mild cracking sound as pressure was applied on my back, but the loudest crackle was when he turned my neck to the left.  

"Do you favor sleeping on your left side?", 

"Yes", I replied

"Try to balance sleeping on both sides", he said.  I understood what he meant since I heard most of the crackle coming from my left side during adjustment. 

As for my knee, he found nothing serious, not even medium serious but small serious that shouldn't be ignored for there is swelling of a pulled/strained ligament.  

"There is no quick fix, just apply ice for 20 minutes twice a day for two weeks; and read my blog about knee care", he said. 

I am already feeling the relief tonight, my second day, after my forth session of ice compress.  I use an ice bag, generously filled with ice that I lodge on top of my knee like a crown so my entire knee is fully covered. 

So, should you feel pain due to swelling or inflammation, doc Mike says:  hid "the first aide rule....use ice!".

My Version of Bruschetta

Today, my eldest niece and sister-in-law came for a visit. Instead of serving just toasted bread along with sun-dried tomato pesto pasta and roast beef, I thought I'd make bruschetta.  To be honest, I love bruschetta too and I felt like eating some. 

Here's how I did it.

Wash and cut a shallow cross on the bottom of each tomato, like in the picture below:

Boil water, remove from heat and put in the tomatoes.  Let it stay for a few minutes, then remove from water. 

Notice that the peel is starting to separate, peel when it's cold enough to handle. 

Cut the tomatoes into half; and use your thumb to push out the seeds.

Chop seeded tomatoes

Drain to remove excess tomato juice. 

Mix in  several leaves of chopped fresh basil and fresh tarragon  together with the following:

1 tbsp olive oil

1 tsp balsamic vinegar

1 tsp salt

1 clove minced garlic

1/2 tsp ground pepper

Set aside, ok to put in refrigerator to chill. 

Slice fresh ciabatta into three, then cut each slice horizontally into two. 

Brush olive oil on one side and toast in oven until crunchy and brown on the edges. 

You can then spread over the tomato mixture or serve in a bowl and let guests spread the tomato mixture on their own ciabatta themselves.