DOWNSIZING IS A SERIOUS CONSIDERATION IN RETIREMENT

When i was invited to dinner pre COVID by my neighbor, now my friend,  I fell in love with her home which is nicely and tastefully decorated.  I've seen bigger homes that did not appeal to me.  This home is not enormously big but had ample space for entertainment and can accommodate visiting family and friends.  Who wouldn't want a home like that? 

I reminded myself however that we are already retired.  At this stage most couples would usually move to a smaller home while they sell or rent out the former. Many too, migrate to another state or country where the cost of living is relatively cheaper. 

Retirement is when we care less about the image we portray to family and friends. Now is the time to set aside our ego that usually want to portray a semblance of success.  

It doesn't mean that when retired, we don't live comfortably like we used to, and live the way we want to.  In retirement, when the children move out to live their own lives, a big house is expensive to maintain and is not at all practical. 

On the flip side, a bigger house would come in handy when  children and relatives visit; but how often would that be, once a year, twice at the most?  Won't going to visit the children and grandchildren instead be a more appealing  arrangement? 

Five years ago we move to this present home, I didn't realize until we packed what an enormous amount of stuff we had accumulated through the years.  Back then we just built and built storage spaces to accommodate our stuff. 

The present home has a bigger land area but the house itself is a little bit smaller.  After putting the furniture in place, the whole family felt that this suits us better since there's just the two of us.  The big plus is that we have a space for an edible backyard garden.  Having that Is a blessing; gardening got us through the adjustment phase. 

When my stay-in household help left last year, we managed the daily chores on our own for almost a year, something I couldn't have done in the old house without help. Indeed upkeep is definitely easier and maintenance cheaper.  Power and water bills were remarkably reduced. 

Presently, I noticed that I still have a lot of stuff which I never touched since the move.  My children have their own style and choices of household effects that they do not want to take on our stuff.  Besides, my daughters have also been decluttering since the trend of minimalism became popular in recent years. 

I often wonder where our belongings will be when we go.  Will they be in garage sale?  Hopefully they wouldn't end up in a thrash bin.  I'm contemplating having a garage sale now but my husband may not think well selling our stuff, it seems like a difficult task for him. 

I'm sure that seniors like me have seriously considered this at one time or  another.  For the rich and famous, this task is made easier by estate sales done by prestigious antique and collectibles dealers like Sotheby's and Christie's because of valuable paintings and furniture.  But for an ordinary citizen like me, the items we hold are mostly because of sentimental value. 

I'm sure that most of the younger generation won't have that much of a problem when they retire since minimalism has become a trend. 

Oftentimes I'm still attracted to buy decorative objects or kitchen effects; it's so tempting to buy online but I always restrain myself. I've known for a long time now that it is in the act of buying that is irresistible and the most exciting part but it all diminishes once the item is acquired. 

So my mantra: no more buying unless necessary, and it is often said that there is a difference between a need and a want. 

HOW ARE YOU COPING WITH THE COVID 19 PANDEMIC?

I can't believe it's more than six months ago now since the lockdown!  How time flies!  September is about to end, and it seems like time passed us by like a breeze while we're unaware just sitting at home.  Was I bored staying home?  Did I feel deprived of my freedom to go anywhere I like?  No, absolutely not! 

Early on, I met an interesting friend and neighbor Tess and we became exercise buddies.  Our common interests in gardening and cooking made wonderful conversations.  From March until the first week of June; when she was able to fly to Rotterdam to join her husband and son, we had been walking and having fun at dawn within our enclave.  Those two months made our adjustment to the lockdown easier and bearable. 

Sans my walking buddy, I still walk every morning for fresh air and sunshine.  I rather enjoy the solitude walking.  I've also made friends along the way who have the same interest in plants and gardening.  

In our attempt to keep safe,  I've limited my going out of the house to a weekly shopping for food at a small grocery; twice a month to the drugstore and once a month to the bank.  

As I tried to count with my fingers the activities that my husband and I were not able to do, I realized that we missed a lot of bonding time with family and friends.   Whether we like it or not this pandemic changed our lives like everybody else.  

We missed trips abroad to visit our children and grandson, 

Friday dinners with my older daughter and her family, 

bonding and shopping lunch at the mall with my 15-year-old granddaughter, 

breakfasts at Starbucks with my husband, 

monthly lunch get-together with our friends, and 

going to church on Sundays, Wednesdays and first Friday's. 

In spite missing the above activities, staying at home was not  difficult for us since we are content staying at home reading, gardening, watching tv and cooking.  

I believe that technology has bridged the bonding gap making isolation easier to bear with FaceTime, zoom, messenger, viber, etc.. Moreover we are able to catch up with most of our friends on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. 

How about you guys, were you bored?  Did you feel deprived not going out much and meeting friends?  Did you miss road trips with your family?  So far, it has been a stressful six months for some of us, we were placed in a situation that made us experience difficult times that we never imagined. 

I learned that some people are having difficulty coping,  bored and restless, some are eager to go back to work, some are even depressed.  I'd say that the easiest way to cope is to accept our predicament and follow protocols to keep ourselves safe. 

On His feast day this week, we are reminded of the famous words of The Blessed Saint Padre Pio: 

"Pray, hope and don't worry.  Worry is useless.  God is merciful and will hear your prayer". 

HOW TO LET GO OF ITEMS WITH SENTIMENTAL VALUE

Are you having a difficult time letting go of items with sentimental value?   Mia at miadanielle.com says that " letting go is an emotional process and decluttering is all about learning to let go".  

 I've come across several tips, the most common of which is: "if we have something we're reluctant to let go that is tacked away somewhere, either we use it or showcase it, otherwise sell or give away to someone who will love it". 

This is so true, especially if it has been in storage for quite sometime.  In this age of minimalism, declutter is the mantra. They say that keeping something we don't use or display is clutter that occupies a space that could be of better use for something more important in our present lives. 

Don't they often say: "live for today"?

Why keep something of the past?, they ask.  But I'm sure there is that something that has meaning to us, something we acquired way back when that we can't seem to part with. 

When we moved from our home of 38 years, I thought that it was a good time to declutter so I took time sorting things to keep, store or give away.  By then, my emotions were already raw, I was crying because I felt like I was compartmentalizing our lives in boxes. 

As I went through two shoe boxes of greeting cards that I kept pre-digital times, I didn't have the heart to part with them; they are filled with loving thoughts; throwing them away felt like giving up part of my family who gave them.   My younger daughter came to the rescue: "They are just two shoe boxes Mom, I'd say you keep them all, how much space will they occupy?". 

Today, the shoe boxes are still in a drawer somewhere, I know a time will come when I will take pictures of the best ones from each of my family members and close relatives so I can finally discard them. 

But really, sometimes it is not healthy to be so attached to material things unless they are so special like the punch bowl set that has held several thousand island desserts.  My husband bought that for me in the 70's when US goods could only be bought at the stalls  outside of Clark Air Base at a relatively good price.  Then there is that antique mini  intricate crystal  punch bowl set from my mother-in-law that I treasure so much.  Both are displayed in our dining  room where I put fruits. 

Many of us may think that our children would like to have our sentimental items in their homes.  Believe me, they have other ideas, you'd be surprised to know that every piece of decor, every dish or vase that they incorporate in their homes is given a lot of thought. 

When we moved, I discarded two-thirds of my kitchen effects, half of my clothes, almost all knick knacks and donated  5 balikbayan boxes of books to our parish to give away to distant parish schools. 

My son only asked for his Tonka toys, my older daughter took the piano,  a crystal dish and a Pyrex loaf pan while my younger daughter took an antique cake server and a crystal vase. 

What to do then?? 

First, let's try to incorporate them in our home decor, in a way that is appropriate.  Experts caution that it should blend well with our set up; we should not try to accommodate them just for the sake of keeping them especially if they are big items lest our home may look like a museum.  

If it's a set of coffee mugs, by all means, let's use them, if they break, then that's it.  If it is a set of delicate China let us enjoy them everyday;  that would be making the most out of them.  

For seniors like me, we can still ask our children if they need or want to keep our treasure/treasures.  Let us be considerate though by letting go of most of our things, not only those with sentimental value but every little thing that we no longer use.  

While there's still time; let us not leave this burden for our children to do when we are already gone.  The best way is to find a home for them like a relative or a friend who would love them as much as we do. 

If not, sell.  Take a picture and advertise online.  Someone out there maybe looking for something like it. Then we can use the money to buy a more useful item to keep the memory of our treasure alive.