I know someone who was feeling frustrated with his life. He seem unable to find meaning and purpose in his life. I guess this came about because his partner, who is a few years younger asked him if "this is it for them".
She may be referring to their uneventful day to day lives with no hope to better it. Apparently he is disturbed that his partner feels unhappy and he feels helpless that he can't do anything about it. I can understand his concern; don't they always say that "happy wife, happy life"?
This is a testament that in life's passages, no matter what stage we are in; retired or otherwise, we at one point in our lives may feel lost or get stuck. For those of us who had a career and retired, we feel this way when the euphoria of freedom from the corporate world and the "on vacation" mode wears out.
Retirement experts call this the stage of disillusionment. It is when we realize that we did not make it big in our career, that we did not become rich or popular; that we can't have the life we have been dreaming of, and now it's too late because we ran out of time.
It is also the time when we are no longer happy with what's happening or what's not happening to our lives; we feel dissatisfied, unfulfilled and yes, disillusioned.
I recall a time in our lives when at some point, we too may have experienced this stage in a subtle way. Early on Jim, my husband was gainfully employed in one of the leading oil companys. After twenty years he resigned and developed a business with a partner. After a few years this business folded up leaving him with nothing to do.
I wasn't retired then so he was left on his own devices at home. Well, to be fair, he wasn't moping or complaining but I knew he was bored. Apparently, watching tv, reading books, playing golf and trading in the stock market was not enough.
During that time, my office bought a sizable piece of land they wanted to develop as a model farm-hotel school. They want to train students to grow veggies, learn to cook their produce and serve them in a hotel setting.
I suggested he take the post, though it was something totally different from the career he knew. The land was located about an hour from the metro in a tourist vacation city. The climate is cool and invigorating, ideal to be outdoors, taking in fresh air and sunshine while directing workers. In short, he applied and got the job as Farm and Business Development Manager.
Notice how Jim was able to reinvent his life, though it was a bit easy because the opportunity presented itself; still it was not along his line of expertise. Jim is a Chemical Engineer and his career has always been in marketing, nevertheless he took it as a challenge and turned it into an adventure.
Retirement is an entirely new life and we should understand that our life will change, one way or the other. The key here is adaptability and openness to embrace what's new.
We cannot avoid change, in life the only permanent thing is change so this should not surprise us. Retirement planners often ask: "what do you plan to do when you retire?".
At that point before retirement, we are very optimistic, eager to unburden ourselves with our job responsibilities. But I'll say it again, that the feeling of freedom and the thrill of being on vacation will wear out sooner than we expect.
Others may not be as lucky as Jim in this regard. And so we need to work on ourselves. Shall we look deep in our hearts and try to find new purpose to our existence, a new significance, a new opportunity, or a cause to defend or fight for?
Let us ask ourselves where or how do we find contentment. Are we looking for a chance to earn so we can add to our retirement money? What will define the purpose of our day? Maybe it is good to change gears, look outside the box in order to discover our new adventure.
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