To Get Or Not to Get A Housemaid: That Is The Question

When my housemaid of two years went on a two-week leave sometime ago, I  asked myself: "how hard can it be without her?". 

In the Philippines it is still possible to have a live-in maid even for average families; though I must say that it is becoming more and more difficult to get one.  Most of them want to work abroad.

As soon as my maid went of vacation, Jim and I developed a routine in maintaining the house spic and span.  I do the indoors and he tackles the outdoors.  It doesn't mean though that we don't help each other in whatever task that needs to be done. 

That was when  I saw that my maid's work isn't all that backbreaking nor takes so much time.  In the first place, there's only Jim and I at home, no more kids to clutter the house.  

I have a heavy duty washer and dryer, so she doesn't wash clothes, including her beddings.  My clothes are drip-dry, no ironing necessary there and Jim irons his delicate clothes himself, he can't thrust the maid with that.  I do the cooking, she just prepares the mise en place.  We have no pets to take care of  and Jim and I tend the garden, well..that's  mostly Jim.  

Nowadays, maids are distracted with texting and Facebook that they don't do their jobs well anymore.   My maid can hardly put down her phone.  Early on I tolerated that because I thought that she also needs a breathing space in between chores and I saw that she got things done.  Lately however, it looks like she spends more time on her phone than working.  

My older daughter doesn't have a live-in house help since her maid of 11 years left.  After three maids that she recently tried and didn't like, she is more inclined not to get one;  she got tired training them besides, she has someone who does the thorough cleaning once a week.  

Now that she works from home, she can prepare breakfast and dinner for her husband and her 12-year-old daughter; alone at noon, her lunch is take-out or left-overs.  On weekends they always eat out, whether they have a maid or not.  Her in laws are just next door and they have two drivers and two maids who could be of assistance when necessary. 

Here are the pros and cons whether to get a maid or not that I can think of:

CONS:

. We have to allocate a budget for her salary.

. It is a hassle to think or prepare her food; we may thrive on sandwiches or just pasta but she needs rice and adobo. Think of feeding another person three meals and two snacks and imagine the savings if we are prudent in preparing meals. 

. There is little or no privacy at all, especially in a condo where space is limited.

. The presence of another person in the household will also consume utilities like electricity and water that we can be saved otherwise.  Remember, she charges her phone twice a day, lol!

PROS:

. She will look after the baby when we are at the office

. We have someone to do the cleaning

. We won't wash dishes 

. Theres someone to bring us things if we are too lazy to go get them ourselves

. to hang and fold the laundry

. to throw garbage, soap the waste can and line it again with plastic bag

. to open and close the gate when we come and go

. to bring over the remote when someone calls

. to answer the door.

. Someone is always at home. 

Maybe we're so used to having a maid that oftentimes we feel deprived if there's no one to wait on us.  True, we can always do the chores but it means less time for me to devote to the store; less time for hobbies, leisure and relaxation.  Moreover, Jim is reluctant to leave the house for long periods without someone at home. 

How about you, what's your take on this?  

A House Warming That Warmed Our Hearts

It has been a busy week in mid-September that climaxed in Antipolo on a Sunday,  the house warming of our niece and nephew-in-law.  

     Their house facade

At dawn on that Friday before was also the arrival of my sister's friends and neighbors from Florida who came to attend her milestone birthday celebration.  

 

                  Jim with Ben and Alessandra

We welcomed them with a Filipino breakfast.  

Mary Grace is becoming a must-go-to restaurant for tourists and balikbayans.  Jim and I brought them around town while we made the final preparations for the birthday party happening that Saturday night. 

Like I said earlier, it takes time to really enjoy pleasurable moments with our favorite people and in our case the good times happened one after the other within the month.  That's why this blog is a bit late.  I just needed to set aside these thoughts about the house warming because I wanted to focus on the succeeding events with my children in Singapore the following week. 

Back on the house warming

Their new place is on the other side of town but my niece was thoughtful to send over a van to get us and bring us back.  We were in luck traveling that route on a Sunday, on other days it would have taken us 3 hours, and even worse during peak hours. 

But I'd say it was worth all the long trip.  Their house is very serene, an open-concept living room, dining and kitchen area made more relaxing with neutral shades all around.  

I have to give it to our niece and nephew-in-law to want such a house that calm the soul with its elegant and pleasant atmosphere.   This couple work so hard to start, expand and sustain their business; such a formidably difficult feat in this day and age in our country. 

"You've got a great place here", I told my nephew by way of making conversation, while we were served  drinks with baked oysters and other hors d'oeuvres I didn't recognize but delicious. 

"This is so relaxing, I'm sure you really must enjoy it after a hard day's work", I further said. 

"Yes Tita, we love it too, it is quite relaxing after driving through traffic almost the whole day".  

I'm so happy for them, they really deserve this restful haven for their family. 

 

Our hosts: our niece and nephew-in-law with Alessandra

The day was a happy event, there was dancing, too.

I have to commend my niece who went out of her way  to include her cousins, the children of our siblings who live abroad.  

It was a happy reunion with nieces and nephews.  In as much as we wanted to stay longer, we had to leave since we still need to bring back my sister's guest at their hotel. They needed to pack and rest for the next day of shopping before leaving for the airport.  

Last Two Days In Singapore

I'm not inclined to watch tv on board a plane.  I'd rather read a magazine or a novel from my iPad.  On Singapore airlines flight back to Manila, I read an article from Women's Weekly, "how to find joy" where Psychologist Fred B. Bryant was quoted saying that:   "we don't automatically feel joy when good things happen to us, it's the way we reflect on those experiences that determines how happy we are".

I believe that's true.  Here  I am, a week after I left my children and their families in Singapore, yet I'm just reminiscing the numerous happy times I spent with them.  Looking at pictures I took and putting them along with the memories in a blog makes me savor the joy more.

Our younger daughter's new home in Singapore is beautiful. Their place overlooks an impressive wide open space at the central area where trees, shrubs and ground covers abound.  The pools are big and the water features are all lighted up gaily at night.   This condo unit is just right, in fact very spacious, not tight like you would expect of one, especially in Singapore where properties are relatively pricy.  

Our daughter also take a leave from work whenever we visit, but this time even our son-in-law took a leave as well.  How thoughtful of them to welcome us with a big platter of fruit, cheeses and crackers.

Since their place is on the other side of downtown, near the airport, it makes sense to lunch at a nearby place where one of the best ramen in town is served. 

On queu to be seated at Tsuta, a ramen house

Waiting to be served while we watched two chefs prepare our ramen. 

Our hosts wanted to bring us out to dinner as well but we felt like staying in, so my daughter prepared a sumptuous meal.  I loved her salad of leafy greens and fruit with a just right vinaigrette dressing.  Her baked chicken flavored with lemongrass is something to write home about.  

Roti or naan with assorted dipping sauces of butter chicken, palak paneer (goat's cheese) and chickpea completed the meal.  I enjoyed the butter chicken best of all..

The next day they invited our son and his family for lunch.  She prepared beef rendang, a Malaysian recipe, and there was duck, white chicken and veggies, and of course: 

Cake!!!

This well-decorated decadent chocolate cake made our grandson pay attention.  He immediately left his puzzle on the floor and came up  to blow the candle meant for my sister who has been celebrating her milestone birthday since the week before. 

On that last night, back at our son's place, our daughter-in-law wanted to treat us yet again to cocktails and dinner at a resto bar but this meant leaving our grandson behind; so we stayed in instead.  

It turned out to be cocktails, dinner and nightcap. 

This delicious, smooth-and-silky-melt-in-the-mouth cheese cake was presented mid-way while our grandson was still up and lively.  Who else would blow the candle but my sister and our eager grandson. 

Pizza and pasta night is becoming a tradition for our last night.  We stayed late into the night telling stories, laughing, eating and drinking.

From family visits here or there in Singapore, I learned that it's not enough just to be physically present, hugging and kissing  family;  it is by sharing our thoughts and feelings, our present challenges, our plans and dreams that make us feel that warmth and really enjoy that awesome feeling of togetherness. 

It seemed that our visit was not quite enough for the very next day after our arrival back home, our son called:  "book a flight again as early as now mom,  maybe for January" (coz we may see them here for Christmas).  He paused, "or even November". 

Well, life is short, we're not wasting anytime, not at all.