My Resolve to Lead a Simple Life

You may call this a sequel to last my blog: "my journey on de cluttering". Cait Flanders in one of her "Blonde on a Budget" blogs said:

"I wasn't living an extravagant life style, I'm just consuming more than I needed".  

In a sense, we are like her, we also lead a simple lifestyle but we do have more stuff than we need, otherwise, why do we need a storage shed?

The idea of being a minimalist is becoming more popular nowadays, especially among the young.  Couples are more inclined to discard their stuff , we see people on tv decluttering to fit smaller homes, some even  move to a "tiny house".  However, it maybe more challenging for oldies like me to do that; our ways are set and we become more sentimental as with age; there's just too many memories attached to our belongings.

My attempt to discard stuff we don't need started when we moved to a new home.  After seeing the enormity of our material possessions it got me thinking that I had more than I needed and that stopped me from buying things. This was a wake up call that stuck with me this passed year, otherwise, I would have continued buying stuff to this day. 

Isn't it a blessing in disguise then that circumstances led me to realize that owning too much is robbing me of time better spent doing things that matter most; focusing on this so-called "business of living", making my life happier and more productive?   At some point don't we all want to declutter for a simpler life but we just don't know how?   I consider myself lucky that I finally got started. 

I felt better after disposing a good bulk of our stuff, in my mind I saw order, I felt that everything is more organized without the need to cramped as much objects as I can in a limited storage space.  This encouraged me to continue decluttering.

Looking back, I have been oblivious to my surroundings, I should have learned from my children earlier on.  Now I have a flashback of my son opening his mail, crumples what's not important and throws them in the waste can.  When he moved to his own home, he would often bring a bag of stuff he doesn't want, paperbacks he has read, little things he got as gifts that are not useful to him.  I remembered catching them all and putting them away on cabinets and shelves; little did I realize that he learned early.

My younger daughter is an advocate of minimalism.  I think she also learned the hard way.  When she was single her shoes were in their original boxes piled one on top of another more than a meter high, occupying an entire wall of her room.  When my 6-year-old granddaughter visited, she was over-whelmed. 

"Wow, you have lots of shoes. May I see your clothes?". When she opened the  cabinet she got another surprise when some clothes fell off. 

After she got married she and her husband must have pledged to start being minimalists.   Would you believe that they bought their dinner set one piece at a time?  Yes, they didn't get the whole set at once. And this is also true with pots and pans.

"It's a good thing that I can buy Corelle one piece at a time", she happily told me.  

When they learned that my husband and I were visiting, they bought another pair of dining chairs.  She even sent me a picture of the new acquisition and I joked back: 

"So now Dad and I can sit as well".  "Yes!", she replied.  We brought them peanuts among other local delicacies and only then did they buy a mason jar to store it. 

We sat on a couch in front of the tv in the living room and she sat on a kitchen ladder while entertaining us. My son-in-law sat in the dining area.  A week after we left, they got an armchair for the living room.  Do you see that they won't buy anything unless they see the need? They only buy kitchen equipment after serious discernment regards its use and only if they have a space for it in their two-bedroom condo. 

Not to be out-done, my older daughter has always sorted her stuff and like my son, she would also bring stuff home to give away.  Lately though, she has been more determined that she doesn't  miss a thing.  She started with her clothes, then kitchenware and lately she had me sell her daughter's toys; barbie dolls, sets of Polly  pocket, girlie vanity items and out-grown clothes at my store.   The bigger and more expensive stuff were sold on line.  

From her daughter's stuff, she now has a budget to renovate her daughter's room and buy furniture to suit a teenager.  Not that she wouldn't spend out-of-the-pocket money for that, but isn't it a good thing that she got back enough from old stuff to do this?  

In all my earnestness to pursue this endeavor, I have to be honest, I have one dilemma.  My husband disposes his personal stuff sparingly.  He has four golf sets complete in their bags.  Don't you think they are bulky?  One entire wall in the storage shed is a two-tier rack where his coats, jackets and shirts are hang in addition to those in his closet inside the house.   I can't dispose his clothes and his personal effects. I'm just glad he trusts me to take charge of the kitchen items. 

The idea of being a minimalist does not only clear our space with much clutter, it also allows us to focus on what is really important.  It saves us money too because we realize that we  don't need another item to bring home.  Last Christmas, I avoided the bazaars; during my last trip to Singapore, I only went to the mall once and didn't buy anything but food for family back home. But early, early on, before all this decluttering matter, we went to Europe and  I bought souvenirs from every city we visited, but I say" never again", I promise!

My Decluttering Journey

It's been a blissful year; this month we celebrate our first year anniversary in this new home.  Happy memories of get-togethers with family and friends abound; we didn't encounter any negative vibes here, everything is just wonderful.  

Since this time also marks the start of my journey in disposing the "excesses" of "worldly possessions", I'm here to rehash and share with you how I was able to declutter. 

 I started to sort our stuff when I was packing up prior to our move to the new home.  I was over-whelmed at the enormity of the things I had to pack, I didn't realize that we accumulated so much in all these years especially the kitchen effects. 

"What do you expect?":

I asked myself, then I realized that earlier on when we were both working, we hosted lots of parties that I wanted to have "all the works".  Add the gifts I got on our silver wedding anniversary and those on birthdays and Christmases so they really added up. 

As I tried to take photos of each one that were stored under the big island and kitchen cupboards thinking to email them to my children to choose from; I saw items I didn't even remember I had; some still in gift wrap; dinner sets, all kinds of glasses and mugs, trays, bowls and platters galore!  I had two sets of punch bowls with hooks to hang the cups around; two sets of silver coffee/tea sets, cups and saucers and lots of serving paraphernalia.   

Initially, I was hoping that my children would want some of our stuff but then two of them live abroad so I realized that even if they wanted too, it's more practical for them to buy where they are.

"I just want my Tonka toys", my son said. 

So I boxed up his red tractor, the blue and white hauling truck, the yellow bulldozer and the blue dump truck. 

My younger daughter who also lives abroad indicated she wanted the big 1954 poster of the 2nd Marian Congress in the Philippines that my Papa framed in heavy narra; plus a mother-and-child pastel painting of a Filipino artist, Tagle.  Since then, she has been home thrice but she only took home a crystal vase and a set of antique silver cake server.  Nevertheless, I'll keep those two for her. 

 

My older daughter who lives in town still has her wedding presents intact in boxes after eleven years.  She only got a Pyrex loaf pan, a crystal bowl and a round serving platter.   What am I to do with the rest?  I gave my brother wine glasses and I asked a niece, whose house is being constructed and she only wanted a set of brandy glasses.  

"I'll look into your frames when my house is done, Ninang", she said. 

We had boxes and boxes of books, hard bound and paperbacks alike, magazines too.    Before the advent of the iPad, I bought at least three paperbacks a week and my husband at least one bestseller a week since he watches TV more often than I do.  I donated to a remote barrio educational books, children's books, a set of children's classics and a set of old encyclopedia for their school library.  The remaining books for reading entertainment and the magazines were marked for sale. 

I was lucky to have the luxury of time in sorting our belongings before we sold the house.   I followed the traditional three boxes for "keep", "donate" and "dispose".  It was easy to do this with my clothes.  For kitchen items and house decor, I also had three groups: "keep", "retain while I think about it" and "dispose". 

Fortunately, I operate a retail store so all the items to "dispose" ended at the store for sale. I was surprised that they went fast,  in six months most of the items were sold out including a sala set, and an office swivel chair.  We had to give away to a neighbor one sala set.  I brought the "donate" items to our parish office that took care of distributing them.

My biggest challenge was my younger daughter's stuff in her former room untouched since she went to work abroad.   In spite instructions from her, I still needed my best judgement in sorting them; it's difficult to sort things that aren't yours.  I was deludge in her mountain of clothes; fortunately  her sister knows her stuff well and that helped me decide which ones to keep.   Her albums occupied an entire row of a cabinet so I let someone detached the pictures to fit into three one-foot cube boxes. 

Although my older daughter got all her clothes when she got married, the space vacated were occupied by baby stuff of my granddaughter. Sorting this was simpler since she was there to do it, still it took us three sittings.  

Right after our move, my younger daughter sent me the Marie Kondo ebook:  "The Life-changing Magic of Tidying-up".  

To this day, I still refer to it.   She also sent me the link on becoming a minimalist.  As I continue to trim down our stuff, I still review the minimalist blogs.  When I discard a piece of clothing, a home decor or a dish nowadays, doing so gives me a good feeling that I can't quite explain, a sense of calm and serenity as well as relief are words that come close but doesn't fully describe it. 

In retrospect, I'm proud to say that my de-cluttering journey didn't  bring me difficult emotions or any mental "tag-of-war" whether to keep or discard something.  However when I sorted two shoe boxes of greeting cards I saved before the digital age , I cried and didn't have the heart to throw away any of them.  I guess it was the sentimental thoughts and loving greetings that made them so previous.  I saved them all!