Trick Or Treat

Yesterday I exercised my heart to pump faster.  It's a good thing though, I even made the 10,000-steps-a-day my fitbit suggested among other things to reach a desired weight goal  by April.  

Want to know why?  I had to accompany my granddaughter trick or treating at the mall.  After getting the details of the trick or treat happening in the mall last night, I called my daughter to confirm our schedule the following day.

"Is my granddaughter ready for trick or treat?"

"She was ready three days ago", my daughter replied.

I laughed, "it's a good thing then, her Papa will get her at 8:30, we have to be early, we expect a big crowd and we still need to register", I said. 

"Ok, she will leave the house with costume on and by then she should be done with breakfast". 

I don't know why this tradition became very popular in our country in recent years. I guess it's the American influence again. In my childhood, we also celebrated Halloween by singing relevant songs (taught in school) going around from  house to house at night and they give us coins or rice cakes, but we had to sing.  Nowadays, the kids just knock on doors and say: "trick or treat", sometimes they don't even have to say anything, they just raise their pumpkin basket and they'll get candies. 

At exactly 10, we were among a big crowd at the mall, the place was even more colorful with all the children in their costumes.  After lining up to register, we followed the rest as they queue from one store to another.  It's a good thing that I requested my granddaughter's nanny to be with her as they queue while I took pictures. 

It was happening too fast, the children tried to beat  one another to get to every store before they run out of goodies.   I had to keep up as well; I didn't realize how children  can run fast without getting tired easily,  but at least I coped since I'm used to walking fast myself.  

After an hour and her big pumpkin basket half-full, we opted to have lunch.  We were all tired but happy. 

I guess my granddaughter says: "thank you" this way better than a thousand words.  

Next year again?   

Why not?

Are You Living Your Authentic Self?

I could have easily ignored this book from the pile if I didn't get a glimpse of the author, my idol, Dr. Phil McGraw.  I knew right away that it is worth reading it, "Self Matters"

He says that it is very important to live our true selves, otherwise it would be toxic to our own lives and unfair to our love ones as well.  Living our true selves make us better persons, better spouses and better parents.  

How to know if we are truly living the best of who we are?

Dr. Phil says:

"think to the time of your life when you have been your absolute happiest; 

the most fulfilled and especially the most real you have ever been, 

when your life flowed with energy and excitement; 

feeling a quiet calm, be it at work but it seemed like play; 

feeling like you're exactly where you should be, 

doing what you were meant to do;

You were having fun and didn't care what others thought;

No room for fear or anxiety or self-doubt

Every part of your life is in harmony with the others, 

Fully living in the moment with a sense of optimism, 

An expectation that tomorrow is going to be just as interesting and gratifying  as today;

Most importantly, you accepted yourself for who and what you are. "

Wow! That's a lot, right?  Does it sound too perfect for you?  And you want to know if that is even possible?  Sounds like heaven to me. 

But who are we to question an expert, such as Dr. Phil, who counsels such big and famous personalities; besides, who are we to argue when most of the examples he wrote were from his own personal experiences from childhood to where he is today to drive his point?  In fact, his examples are factual; Ophra Winfrey even shared one of her defining moments when she was in 3rd grade. 

When I started reading this, my first thought was to examine myself; I guess that was the point buying this book in the first place.  All my life, and especially now that I am no longer employed and practically own my time, I'm in constant quest for ideas to improve my quality of life. I don't mean fame and fortune; far from it, all I want is to be healthy, happy and fulfilled. 

Further into the book, I learned that upon birth, we have a clean slate of self concept.  Our life experiences, most especially what we clearly remember and what we believe important, impact our self concept, good or bad depending on how we thought about them.  

"our self-concept were determined by only ten defining moments, seven critical choices and five pivotal people have provided positive input to our self-concept; while other defining moments, critical choices, and pivotal people have poisoned authenticity and distorted how we see ourselves", wrote Dr. Phil. 

As I look back,  I am faced with a lot of "what if's" regards the choices and decisions I made.  I know that they are now "water under the bridge";  but it doesn't mean that I can't do anything about some of them anymore, right? 

Now I recall while I was in my fourth year high school,  an aunt-in-law, a chemist, who worked abroad and apparently very successful visited us, Then and there, I decided I wanted to be like her. Later on however, while  pursuing chemistry, I had a lot of frustrations, I also didn't like long hours doing the laboratory experiments.  However, I must have been too proud to admit that I made a wrong choice and I didn't want to disappoint my parents.  When I got the diploma I didn't feel like laboring myself daily in a laboratory, constantly wearing a lab gown, so I didn't bother pursuing the profession. 

Eventually, I found myself an administrative position; and part of my responsibility was managing a school plant; however challenging it was, a thankless job as they say, I liked being in charge and easily embraced a management position thereafter. 

Then there's my husband, a licensed Chemical Engineer who first worked as a quality control supervisor right after college. Obviously he was not happy working in the manufacturing plant; nor he believed he can be happy doing a desk job all day.  He found soon enough that he wanted to be out there in the field so he looked for a marketing job.   

When ESSO hired him, he found his true calling.  He really like selling so much that one annual vacation, when I can't take time off from work to enjoy it with him, he sold home appliances on the side.  Let me tell you, he is really good at this, he can sell almost anything; once he even helped a friend sell his inter-island passenger vessel.

As I read further into the book, Dr. Phil wrote:

"..this is not an all or nothing proposition, there maybe something that you wish you could add to an otherwise great life...."

Now I'm beginning to understand why I even opened a convenience store and my husband easily agreed.  He knew I enjoy having a shop, so I run it even while I was employed.  He knew that it is just a "hobby" and I only make coffee money out of it.  But then again, I am fulfilling one of my passions. Now that I am retired it is also an "escape" when I feel too much confined at home.

When I was working, I thought that my life won't be interesting anymore after I retire, that I'd get bored staying at home;  but I was wrong.  Now I am as busy as ever, yet I feel good doing what I like.  In fact, I feel more "alive" today than in any other time in my life; there is that constant adrenaline flowing, I'm always interested to learn new things, so many things to discover and I feel like there are more good times ahead. 

What do you think, am I now more connected to my authentic self, and truly living who I really am?

Having said that however, there are still things I like to do; like getting a piece of land to start my herb garden, plant and sell some ornamentals; maybe buy and sell old furnitures and fixtures; organize a shop to craft articles from wood scrap and even add a snack bar into the mix. 

More than that, I'd like to write my biography, write a book and perhaps publish it, oh, my list is a long one. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to accomplish some of these before the curtain falls?

I know that I just scratched the surface of this subject but I'm sure you get the idea. So if you are not feeling like any or all of the situations I quoted at the start, then maybe you need some soul searching.  

Finally, Dr. Phil wrote:

"what matters is that you commit to finding and reconnecting to your authentic self; rewrite your personal truth  and live a life that lets you be who you are; if you don't do that, no one will".

"A racehorse has to run, a bird has to fly, an artist has to paint, a teacher has to teach. There is something in you that you have to do".  

Celebrating A Wedding Anniversary

This week is a double celebration of wedding anniversaries of my two daughters. Two days ago my older daughter and her family flew to Shangrila, Mactan to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary. 

Before they left, they bade good bye to her in-laws who just live next door.  

"Today is the wedding anniversary of my mom and dad", my 9-year-old granddaughter whispered to her Abolita (her fraternal grandma; she calls me Nana).  

Abolita nodded.

"Well, aren't you going to greet them", she prodded.

Embarrassed, my daughter asked my granddaughter:

"Are you soliciting greetings for us?". 

The 10th wedding anniversary is truly a milestone, years spent together is proof to that;  they created sweet memories to remember and cherish as well as trials along the way.

That's the reason, the anniversary symbol is tin, says 

Anniversary-ideas-step-by-step.com:

"Tin symbolizes preservation and longevity.  At one time, food was stored in tin-plated iron cans.  The tin protected the iron from rust and corrosion, preserving the food inside, potentially forever.  A couple at the milestone anniversary of ten years has the ability to go the distance.  Therefore, the tenth anniversary should be celebrated with special honor."

Tomorrow, my younger daughter will celebrate her wedding anniversary, her first.  I'd say that this is a milestone as well for a lot of adjustment and compromise take place on the first year.  It is when reality sets in; when they were dating, the atmosphere is obviously different. 

What does anniversary-ideas-step-by-step.com say about the first year?  

"The first year of marriage is like a clean sheet of paper, a new beginning upon which to write your passage through the years together.  Also like paper, it is fragile and can easily rip, not having tried the fires of adversity and the storms of life yet". 

"We all have a childhood belief that with love, everything goes like silk, yet the reality is marriage requires a lot of compromise." ---Raquel Welch

My husband and I are really blessed that our son and daughters are finally settled with spouses they truly love. We visit their homes often and we like what we see;   I know that they also have their low moments, but who doesn't.?  

Somebody wrote that we perceive our friends' marriage is better than ours because whenever we ask, they always say "we're good", but they won't tell us how they put up with each other when they're alone.  Well, except maybe your best friend who confides in you, who most likely is still on denial. 

"I always thought that marriage was about finding the perfect match.  Now I realize it's about trying to match the different pieces together perfectly."  ---Courteney Cox

To married people out there, whether happy or not, it maybe good to heed the wisdom of the late Joan Rivers, in an open letter to her daughter Melissa on her wedding day, as published in the November 1998 issue of McCalls magazine; here's an excerpt:

".....learn to compromise, be what the Japanese call the wise bamboo; in other words, learn to bend so you don't break.  Be flexible, and pick your battles carefully ---you'll lose nothing if you let your spouse have his way once in a while.  What gains, however, is your marriage".

Our Village Fiesta

Today is our village fiesta, in honor of The Blessed Virgin Mary, Our Lady Of The Pillar. This special day is always celebrated on the second Sunday of October.  It is also the 34th anniversary of my younger daughter's baptism. 

We usually baptize our babies within two months of birth, but then, the contractors whom my husband was talking to for a long time suddenly became free to start our home renovation.  They showed up without warning one Monday morning, so we took advantage of the opportunity.  We badly needed the house extension as we already had three children and our original house had only two bedrooms.

To make a long story short, the renovation took longer as is usually the case in most constructions.  When we pushed back the baptism of our daughter to October, after the cleaning and polishing inside and outside our home; we were oblivious that it would coincide with the fiesta.  By tradition some Filipinos would schedule such occasions to coincide with the fiesta or even Christmas since they would be giving a party anyway, "para minsanan" (one time preparation), they would say; but that is not us; we want such special occasion to be a separate and distinct affair.  

Back to the village fiesta. 

In the late 70's, when we bought our house in this village, most residents were basically our contemporaries; everyone then were eager to connect with neighbors as we were all strangers in this place. I recall street meetings in our home as my husband had been a long time Chairman.  Our Christmas parties were celebrated by the entire street. 

A week before the occasion, a carnival opens in the plaza, the villagers would go there to join in the fun; they would ride the ferries wheel while children enjoy the mini rides.  The fiesta used to be a two-day celebration; on the first night, there was amateur singing contest and residents participated. 

The second day was focused on church activities since it is the feast day of our Lady of the Pillar; mass baptisms and mass confirmations were administered by the visiting bishop. 

Parade bands would go around the village, people would linger in the streets; residents usually invite friends and relatives to their homes and the celebration would last the whole day until late at night when they watch a variety show. The residents pulled strings to invite as many show biz personalities and celebrities to sing or just for personal appearance. 

 

Nowadays however, this is no longer true. I guess, we are not so excited anymore, for one thing most of our children are adults who now have their own lives somewhere in the city or even abroad. 

This morning, as my husband and I attended the 10:30 mass as we do every Sunday, we were surprised that the church, including the wings were over-flowing.  We were a little late but the usherettes know us so they sat us on the 4th row together with the church committee and members of church organizations.  

It was a concelebrated high mass, with two bishops and at least 10 priests in attendance.  The main celebrant who is a visiting bishop gave the homily; he said that the blessed Virgin Mary made this apparition in Zaragoza, Spain, while still on earth, she was then living in Jerusalem.  To know more about this celebration/ apparition, click this link:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_the_Pillar

Today, I am happy that our village fiesta is confined in church activities, nothing pompous or commercial about it as most celebrations are nowadays. 

I Fancy Starfish

This Christmas season, I'm planning to use sea life theme for my home decoration in the living room. 

This idea came up when I asked my older daughter to get me two pieces of starfish since her family went for vacation in Shangrila, Boracay.  I have a fancy for starfish that I even bought a pair of starfish earrings, with 106 diamond bits. 

This week, I started my research for sea life design ideas. I already have some pieces to put together, and I wanted to see how I can display them to best advantage. 

I thought I'd work around the shades of blue to pick up the color of the sea and sky, with touches of white for clouds and silver to mimic the color of sand.  I think the silver would add to the festive look  in keeping with the season; something tinsel.  

I went window shopping this week and finally, yesterday to my delight, I got the throw pillows and I was happy because I got the colors and prints I wanted at reasonable prices. 

Today, I asked my maid to take off the lacy beige curtains, and in its place I intend to drape the 30 yards of while lace material as window treatment.  I invited my granddaughter's nanny who has this artsy flair to help me execute my idea in putting up the drapes. 

I also asked my maid to vacuum the windows and carpet so I could start my project. I started putting the new throw pillows in place:

This bushida tree came from my husband's front garden. I guess it hit a stone underneath the earth, so it never grew, it's almost like a bonsai.  One day, we just found that its leaves dried up.  My husband uprooted it and sprayed metallic gold to prevent decay.  I intend to make it my Christmas tree,  I'll hang miniature starfish shells,  I'm just waiting for my older daughter to get them for me when her family will go on vacation to Shangrila, Mactan soon. 

I gathered my sea life materials to arrange them in place.

Finally I went to the blue room where I displayed some of these items.  I discovered that my two precious starfish shells are gone, nada!  

I moved everything, checked every nook and corner, turned over drawers but nothing!  My most important decor, the "star" of my show is gone!

Oh, where can they be?  Sigh....

Filipino Food Presented In Style

Who says Filipino food can't compare with international cuisine because they can't be presented in an attractively appetizing manner?  Yesterday, at Crisostomo, a restaurant famous for Filipino food gave me a surprise! 

My daughter-in-law is in town to attend a class reunion, and we had to meet her for I was tasked by my younger daughter to send through her  the final cut of her Shangrila Mactan wedding video.  Whenever my daughter-in-law and my son are in town, they usually come over for dinner or even brunch I prepare at home. 

But this time, she called:

"Mommy, can we just meet at town center for tea?  I have to visit my grandma in Batangas early in the morning and my reunion is in the evening."  She also told me that she didn't anticipate getting home almost midnight the night before.

"There were long lines at the terminal 3 immigration check in, it took me an hour, then, I had a long wait for my luggage to come out from the carousel". 

I thought we would meet for high tea at Le Petit Cherie, a French restaurant at Molito, but my son thought she may just want local snacks like:

 bibingka (rice cake lined with banana leaf underneath; cooked at the bottom and on top). 

Puto  bongbong (a violet-colored rice cake steamed in a bamboo tube, served with sugared freshly grated coconut shavings).

While I realized later that Le Petit Cherie may have an assortment of these local delicacies as well as their usual spread of French pastries, my husband suggested Crisostomo.  In the end, it was an excellent choice for my daughter-in-law had to buy some stuff from Rustan's, evident of the big bag of items from where else but Rustan's that she was carrying along. 

I was surprised how Crisostomo presented my daughter's-in-law order. The lowly street snacks, Turon (plantain, dredged in brown sugar with fresh jackfruit, rolled in rice wrapper and deep fried). This came with a dip, fondue-style, looked like salted caramel, but of rich coco jam. I would say that foreign visitors would delight seeing this, and enjoy eating it as well. 

The churros that my son-in-law ordered was pretty much served in the same way. Sorry, I didn't take a picture, but it looks just as interesting. 

I couldn't resist their halo halo, (assortment of sweetened plaintain, tapioca, yam jam, creme brûlée, gelatin, etc., served with shaved ice, soaked in milk and topped with ice cream). There is even a choice of ice cream: ube(violet yam), cheese or vanilla. I chose cheese. 

While we were enjoying a happy hour catching up;  I told my daughter-in-law not to hesitate to say when it's time for her to go. She said, she still had to get some stuff for my son waiting back home with their 6-month-old son. She will fly home today to catch up with their weekly family outing she doesn't want to miss.